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| :''Were [[you]] looking for [[Big Black Cock]]? Of course you were, you nigger loving faggot.''
| | #REDIRECT [[Icewillow9]] |
| <div style="text-align:center; background: #F8F8F8; border: 1px solid #DDDDDD; padding: 5px;" class="notice metadata" id="spoilers">This page contains spoilers — Important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example, <br />'''HOLY SHIT the <s>[[Scum|Scots, the Irish, the Welsh and people from the north of England]] hate</s> everyone with half a brain doesn't even slightly trust you!!!'''</div>
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| [[Image:Who_needs_satire_is_dead_bbc_news_hamas_israel_gaza.jpg|thumb|Who needs satire? ]]
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| <!--[[Image:BBCcorrespondent.jpg|thumb|A representative BBC commentator.]]-->
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| [[Image:Testcard_F.jpg|thumb|The most <s>exciting</s> [[loli|hawt]] programme the BBC has & will ever broadcast]]
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| [[Image:Testcardclown.jpg|thumb|Creepy loli clown of an old BBC show.]]
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| The '''BBC''' ('''B'''illionaire '''B'''oys '''C'''lub, '''B'''ullshit '''B'''abbling '''C'''unts or the ''Israeli Ministry Of Propaganda'') is a pure evil [[old media]] news corporation [[Communism|that every Britfag with a colour TV is forced to pay an annual fee for through a TV licence regardless of whether they use/watch it or like/agree with what it puts out]]. The Britfag government and the [[1984|proles]] who support it [[Dubious Disclaimer|justify]] this bullshit by claiming the BBC is [[Lie|impartial]]. Many Britfags also consider the BBC [[Lol|to be a source of]] [[Fail|national pride]]. Despite supposedly being a British organisation, former Director General Mark Thompson has a [[Jewish]] wife, and made [http://www.thetruthseeker.co.uk/?p=10191| trips to Israel] to meet blood-drinking lizard Ariel Sharon and suck his circumsized cock, assuring him that the BBC would have a pro-Zionist bias and refuse to broadcast any humanitarian appeals if The Kike Reich massacred some more Palestinians in Gaza. Also, the BBC news has covered [[Rickrolling]] with pictures of [[PROJECT CHANOLOGY]].
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| == The headlines ==
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| <!--[[File:Llolol.jpg|thumb|left|A typical headliner]]-->
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| [[File:NewsBarelyQualifies.jpg|thumb|Accurate depiction of all of the BBC]]
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| The BBC was founded [[at least 100 years ago]] by a branch of the British General Post Office, in order to broadcast propaganda to the entire world via the medium of [[Bullshit|impartial]] journalism and carefully edited headlines. The annual license fee system that has sustained the corporation since its inception has started to break down since the sheeple discovering streamed online content ironically hosted by the beeb and private media interests who greedily eyed valuable assets and so the upper management pissed its self, backed away from anything that might cause controversy and instead start broadcasting ballroom dancing, celebrity wife-swap and the national lottery 5 days a week.
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| It has long been thought that the BBC has an anti American bias. This is true, as reporting Uncle Sam's latest [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/8356734.stm] atrocity [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/1506151.stm] is clearly "anti-meerican." And pissy chavs wonder why the rest of Europe hates us.
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| In the documentary "wow, aren't Americans fucking stupid" the BBC did not actually insult the USA, they just used one of our 2 million words for cold on the cob to confound the undesirables.
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| == ITV ==
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| [[NFA|ITV]] came on the scene as a credible commercial alternative to the BBC but quickly degenerated into [[Faux News|piss poor dumbed down content]] complete with [[DeviantART|freak shows]], property development guides and "I'm a non-celebrity get me a career!". Naturally only the poorest people watch ITV as all its programs tend to edge toward the "[[chav]]" demographic. This is to be expected as ITV's hometown, Manchester is 90% Chav and 10% fail whilst the BBC was born in glorious London during the heyday of Empire and Monarchy.
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| == Programming ==
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| The BBC broadcast a lot of [[shit nobody cares about]] but [[Retard|Britfags]] happen to watch it anyway for the sake of fuck knows what.
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| *[[Doctor Who]]
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| *[[2 girls 1 cup|Torchwood]] (Doctor Who spin off/rip off)
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| *[[roman showers|Holby City]]
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| *[[Old Gregg|The Mighty Boosh]]
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| *[[Lemonparty]]
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| *[[Lulz|Monkey Dust]]
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| *[[The Big Bang Theory|<s>The IT Crowd</s>]] That's Channel 4, dipshit.
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| *Blue Peter (Kids show with the odd fuckable presenter. Puzzlingly, a cerulean dildo is not involved...)
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| *[[Sherlock]]
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| *[[The Secret Show]] (shit cartoon for children made by the Beeb)
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| * Survivors (the most cucked show ever made with a plot revolving around how the evil corporations have created a virus that kills 3/4 of the human population because capitalism and how the protagonists refuse to arm themselves in the post apocalyptic world, even after being threatened and attacked, because guns, weapons and self defence is evil and nasty (fucking watch that bullshit if you don't believe me).
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| * Afrocentric history revision bullshit (most recent)
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| [[Too lazy|And plenty more shit.]] Also before programmes begin they would often show of their [[crap|crappy]] little logos in the shape of a circle to represent a [[cock]] ring along with some [[bitch|bitchass]] continuity announcer.
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| The only thing good to watch from the shit BBC is the news because you get to watch people being killed =D
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| == OMG BIAS ==
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| In 2004 [[Fox News]]' presenter John Gibson opined in an op-ed piece that the BBC, despite being government-bound to appear neutral, had a "frothing at the mouth" anti-American bias, and that its presenters called on Iraqi forces to fight US troops-both of these things being quoted, apparently, from a government report. The fact that this is clearly [[true|complete bullshit]] on every level and that the [[shit nobody cares about|report in question did not say anything even close to this]] did not faze [[win|Gibson]], who proceeded to go and pray outside the nearest [[Britain|abortion clinic]].
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| On that note the only thing the BBC like about America is <s>[[Obama|OBAMA]] and want his [[in the ass|dick rammed up their ass]].</s> [[HAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS]]
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| == BBC Reporter John Sweeney Interviews [[Scientology]] Spokesperson [[Tommy Davis]] ==
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| <youtube>mhY_X8n037U</youtube>
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| == New 2.oh webshite ==
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| Recently the BBC has decided that it must change its website from an easily readable sensibly organized one into a [[16 year old girl]]'s myspace page. It gives no reason for the change other than "The website hasn't changed for 4 years, it needed a lick of paint.". Due to their epic failure the [[web 2.0|beta website]] looks like it was designed by [[Apple]] in association with a [[gay]] pride parade.
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| The website now has the following 2.oh features:
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| *Overuse of the color blue.
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| *Less content but more blank space between things.
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| *[[ALLCAPS]].
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| *Size 18 text.
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| *Round corners (right angles are soooo 1-point-oh).
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| *Reporter blogs! Stay tuned to my Weblog!! Your source for news!! How did this happen I am bad with computer.
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| *A fuckin stupid analogue clock that distracts you when you already have a clock in your task bar (digital clocks are soooo 1-point-oh and not nearly hi technicaaaaal enough).
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| *Customisable layout that you'll have to go though 5 minutes setting up again every time you clean your cookies so you don't get London's news and weather on the page fagging the place up.
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| *Clashing links that change color to draw your interest to other links that may interest you when you click one. This doesn't actually work though as a load of sport headlines try to draw attention to themselves if you click on a link to a comedy program.
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| All this is probably really impressive if you live in Kensington, own an iPhone, drink your own piss and include your Aga as a family member when filling in your census forms.
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| In a bid to appeal to a broader audience, the BBC is considering changing it's name to the British [[faggot|Bumfuckers]] Club. A position statement is expected to be issued shortly.
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| ==Auntie Beeb and Uncle Jim==
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| {{Jimmy Savile}}
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| [[File:Tinkiwinki Saville.jpg|thumb|Another victim comes forward]]
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| One affair more than most has sent reverberations shock-waving through the corporation, and that is the not unlarge matter of the place being used as a paedo pick-n-mix store by the legendary Jimmy "Jim'll" Savile.
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| The old perve ruled the airwaves for several decades, fronting some of the BBC's most popular youth shows. Which is odd, because -- while it is a strange fact that no-one will ever [[Shamefur Dispray|admit to voting]] for [[Trolling IRL|three-term]] Prime Minister [[Margaret Thatcher]] -- if you speak to any [[Britfag|Briton]] who was alive during his reign of terror, they will say as one that they always found Savile creepy, repulsive, slimy and not even the slightest bit entertaining. Nevertheless, despite these handicaps, which might have proved an impediment to a career in broadcasting for a lesser mortal, Jim'll's crazed wrinkly old face could be found leering into living-rooms the length of the nation for decades. Why? [[It is a mystery]].
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| ===TOTP===
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| [[100 years ago|Between 1964 and 1984]] Savile was [[Moderator|Grand Emperor]] and [[Rich and beautiful|instantly-recognised]] face of [http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00704hg Top of The Pops], a popular weekly televised countdown of [[Pop music|the latest 'Top 10' musical releases]], daddy-o. Making him [[not really|sort of]] the [[Shit|British]] version of [[Elitist musical bastard|Dick Clark]].
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| <center><youtube>puyKtlPcmzU</youtube> <br>'''The old charmer filmed pinching a girl's [[ass]] live on air and obviously not giving a fuck'''</center>.|<center><youtube>01cDSygVJTg</youtube> <br> '''And here's a hilarious audio recording of [[Sick fuck|Savile]] backstage with a [[DO NOT WANT|delighted]] young fan...'''</center>|<center><youtube>tnidfKRUXD8</youtube> <br> '''Not even [[fat|porky]] [[Whore|Colleen Nolan]] is safe from our Jim'll's warmest affections!'''</center>
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| <br>
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| {{Quote|<small>I felt his fingers go towards my bottom. It was disgusting... [[For the lulz|He just laughed and carried on mauling me]] while talking to the camera.</small>|Sylvia Edwards on her visit to a recording of ''Top of The Pops'' in 1976}}
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| It is [[True|alleged]] that throughout his tenure as host Jim'll preyed upon teenaged members of the studio-audience and witnesses now [[Truth|claim that]] he was the head of an "inner circle" of abusers, a number being members of the production team, including a camera-man.
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| <br>
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| <center>{{morphquote|TOTPAbuse|background-color: white;|font-weight: normal;
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| |<small>All the evidence we are hearing points that way.</small> | [[Moralfag|Jon Bird]] of ''The National Association for People Abused in Childhood''
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| |<small>One woman, who used to be a dancer, says there were at least three members of backstage staff at ''Top of the Pops'' who used to take young girls to parties, where [[Sick fuck|horrific and inappropriate]] things took place.</small>| [[Moralfag|Jon Bird]] of ''The National Association for People Abused in Childhood''
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| |<small>We also heard an allegation about one of the cameramen.</small>| [[Moralfag|Jon Bird]] of ''The National Association for People Abused in Childhood''}}</center>
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| ===Clunk Click===
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| Following [[It is a mystery|the success of Top of The Pops]], another show fronted by Savile was commissioned: ''Clunk Click'', in which Savile interviewed loads of [[Pedophiles|his bezzie mates]], including [[Old|old]] dinosaur [[Pedophiles|pop stars]] that you've [[Gary Glitter|never heard of]] and the occasional [[Pedophile|"celebrity politician"]] such as [[Cyril Smith]], while all the time
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| surrounded by [[Loli|a handpicked bevy of teenage lovelies]].
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| <center><youtube>j6Hx7Q2oC5U</youtube> <br> '''Savile invites [[Gary Glitter|a certain other well-known pedo]] to [[rape|sample]] two of his audience.'''</center><br>
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| (The above clip achieved national importance later: See [[Operation:_Yewtree#Chocolate_starrfish|Freddy Starr]] for details).
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| The title ''Clunk Click'' was a reference to "Clunk, Click, Every Trip", which was the [[Oldmeme|catchphrase]] of a then-famous [[Advertising|TV advert campaign]] about public safety, in which Savvo reminded viewers to fasten their seatbelts while travelling by car. Because [[LOLWUT|obviously]] the title of a primetime light entertainment show for kids should be [[Subliminal messages|a reminder of possible injury and/or death]] and Jimmy would personally have [[Lies|cried his eyes out]] if he knew a young child had [[Necrophilia#Case study|tragically ended up in a hospital mortuary]].
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| ===Jim'll [[Touch|Fix]] It===
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| [[File:Jim'll Fix It.jpg|thumb|Now then, now then, you know you want this medallion, don'tcher, kiddies? Bend over for Uncle Jim'll...]]
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| ''Jim'll Fix It'' was a television programme conceived by the enterprising Jimmy as a convenient way of enabling him to contact supple young lolis and shotas in the days before the advent of chatrooms and [[Habbo Hotel]]. Every week, because there was literally nothing better to do, hundreds of thousands of children from all over the country would send in letters to the show, asking if Jim would 'fix it' for their wishes to come true.
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| This programme was about as boring as it sounds with kids wanting to [[Shit nobody cares about|meet their favorite celebrity or become an astronaut]], although, admittedly, the one episode where the scout troop wrote in to ask if Jimmy could fix it for them to have their packed lunches on a rollercoaster was, undeniably, really fucking funny.
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| <center><youtube>5wwPeSDCCAs</youtube></center>
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| Just look at that one [[fat]] little motherfucker's face. Still trying to shove in a bit more of his donut. Greedy little bastard.
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| In any case, the children would send in their letters, ensuring that they enclosed their [[dox|name, address and telephone number]], and if they were lucky (and attractive) enough, Jim'll, as he was affectionately known, would contact them and arrange for their wish to be granted on national television, as well as for them to recieve their very own, highly sought after 'Jim'll Fix It' [[Chris-chan|medallion]]. Of course, unbeknownst to them and, indeed, the rest of the world at large, all this came with [[Rape|a price]]...
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| Since the scandal broke, some of Savile's more enterprising victims have taken to [http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/TWO-Genuine-Jimll-Fix-It-badges-souvenirs-/271093587026?pt=UK_Collectables_Badges_Patches_MJ&hash=item3f1e6fdc52 selling their medallions on eBay for mad cash], although it is worth noting that all the [[Jew gold|money]] in the world won't be able to buy back their [[virginity|innocence]].
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| ===OBEBBCMI5WTF?===
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| [[Image:Communist bbc.jpg|thumb|[[NWO|IT'S A CONSPIRACY!!!111oneoneone]] ]]
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| [[File:BBCTruth.jpg|thumb|right]]
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| Looking back, it's kind of odd that a man like Savile, who amazes one with his sheer energy and the proliferation of peedings that he undertook, so much so that it's hard to believe he actually found time to run any of his numerous marathons (but perhaps someone told him that a crowd of toddlers was waiting for him at the finish line, to spur him on), ever managed to work his way into such a position of authority and so-called 'popularity'.
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| Throughout the old cunt's years at the BBC, so pretty much for the entire duration of the [[Cold War]], nearly all [[Communists|employees]] of the corporation -- [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1522875/Revealed-how-the-BBC-used-MI5-to-vet-thousands-of-staff.html including journalists, editors <b>and presenters</b>] -- were subjected to "security vetting" carried out by MI5 (which, for our colonial cousins, is roughly analogous to the FBI, except [[Fail|without the power of arrest]]).
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| Vetting was [[Doxxing|a thorough process of investigating an individual's background]], especially their [[Communism|political beliefs]] and their [[Faggotry|private life]], to see if there was anything about them that might be contrary to [[The Royal Family#Queen Elizabeth II|what MI5 regarded as the national interest]]. For instance, Savile's contemporary at the beeb [[Operation Yewtree#Gambo: First Blood|Paul Gambaccini]] was marked down by MI5 as [http://www.anorak.co.uk/373532/celebrities/paul-gambaccini-the-bbcs-gay-american-dj-had-an-mi5-christmas-tree-by-his-name.html/ a possible subversive] ... just because he was a [[faggot]].
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| So how did a 24/7 noncing machine like Savvy-boy apparently manage to escape detection while working for the BBC for the best part of 30 years?
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| Or did he? We may never know. But this isn't the last time MI5 appears in the epic [[LOTR|Savile saga]].
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| ===The Smith Review===
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| No, not another TV programme starring sex beast Savs, this is the title of [http://www.damejanetsmithreview.com/ the official inquiry] into how the fuck Savile got away with it during his time with the BBC, and [[Obvious|whether]] he had any fellow paedo playmates within the Corporation. Established 2012 and its report still hasn't (as of February 2014) been published. Since the Smith Review got set up, [[Operation Yewtree#Savile chauffeur #3|the key figure]] who promised to tie Jim-boy to [[Operation Fairbridge|a paedophile ring in the Houses of Parliament]] has been found dead and a bucket of whitewash tipped over what was going on. So, it's looking like the Smith Review will [[No|get to the bottom of things]].
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| ==Things You'll Learn From Watching BBC==
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| * Brits fancy [[nigger]] [[cock]]. Watch any show from [[Doctor Who]] to Red Dwarf and you'll see some cute, tight bodied white honey that has an overwhelming urge to coal burn.
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| * The Brits still fancy themselves a world power. Again watch British tv shows and you'll see them give up all tethers to reality and fantasize how Britain still rules the world.
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| * The British Monarchy are a bunch of [[fur faggotry|fur fags]]. Why is it they are always descended from werewolves. I have always wondered if this is an insult to their [[German]] heritage.
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| * The Brits think they are divinly superior to the world and get their panties in a bind when the US pimp slaps them back into reality and tells them that they, in fact, are.
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| * They believe they could have won [[World War 2]] on their own. What we call taking a massive ass whooping, they refer to as strategy.
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| * They actually believe they won World War 2. All [[America]] did was supply jeeps and razor blades.
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| * Thanks to Prince Charles, to my dying day I'll always think of a tampon as a British Teabag.
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| * White Men are not allowed to go after the [[nigger|black]] [[pussy]]. They just aren't.
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| * They love their [[niggers]]. They believe that in 500 years or so, the monarchy will have fucked enough niggers to give them a nigger queen.
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| * On the subject of [[gay|queens]]. The Brits love their [[fag|queens]] so much, they were the first to legalize them.
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| ==See Also==
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| *[[BBC Radio 4]]
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| *[[Chris Morris]]
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| *[[CNN]]
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| *[[Faux News]]
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| *[[Jimmy Savile]]
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| *[[British CSA Inquiry]]
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| *[[NPR]] The American version
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| ==External Links==
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| *[http://news.bbc.co.uk/ The BBCs "news"]
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| *[http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-10520487 The BBC 'reports' on 4chan]
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| {{Britfags}}
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| [[Category: Communicae]] | |
