Phobos/Laurelai: Difference between revisions

Latest revision as of 03:06, 15 January 2015

	“	do you want to have your router set on fire?	„
	—Typical empty threat from Laurelai

Wesley Bailey (aka Laurelai aka a million other fucking names) is a detestable failure of a human being, a sexual predator, and an FBI Snitch.

He is most well known as being the worlds most disgusting tranny and constantly failing at everything he has ever attempted. His vast achievements include formerly being an admin on Reddit (before being ejected for sexual abuse), claiming to be in groups he was never a part of, and overall making a huge ass of himself on a daily basis. Laurelai claims to suffer from a wide array of mental and physical disorders, all of which can be clumped into the "general laziness" category, forcing him to live a lifestyle of squatting in the home of whoever accepts him and proceeding to take advantage of them till he gets thrown out. The "please can I sleep in your house and eat your food for free" cycle repeats itself once every few months until it managed to piss off every individual dumb enough to take pity on him.

To make up for having a 4" penis even before his magical revelation that he is a woman, Laurelai has been and is still obsessed with power and believes itself to be a hacker, despite his technical knowledge being limited to "beg some script kiddie to packet everyone who makes me upset". Laurelai it should be noted absolutely hates this article so you can do your part by spreading it around everywhere.

He can currently be found on the SJWiki which is ironic since he is a rapist.

Before E-Fame

Behold, the Reverend of Faggotry!

How Laurelai looked before his gender crisis

Laurelai powerful demonstrating his SPELLS.

Laurelai started off as a failed troll before moving on to becoming a Harry Potter cosplayer. In the beginning he was just another insane Wiccan (read: religious tree-hugger) attempting to cast spells against the Internet. Eventually he convinced himself that his inner "magick" was real and not the early stages of severe mental illness. For years Laurelai was a devout follower of the former Reverend of the Divine Lotus so as to ensure that his e-rivals could not harm him, obviously producing completely successful results. When not insisting that he was capable of hexing people IRL he would whine about his non-existent PTSD. These early childish power fantasies were but the first step in a very long downward spiral,

	“	MAGICK IS INVOLVED = STOP WORRYING	„
	—Laurelai

	“	if you say your magick can protect us, and prevent scilons from tampering dangerously with the cars, then i will ignore my visions.	„
	—AGF

Previous Quote | Next Quote

After becoming bored imagining himself as a wizard he decided to host a small neglected Chanology forum in order to grow closer to legions of greasy unwashed teenagers, called Sci-Ex. Chanology at this point in time had long since stopped being anything more than a hotbed of tryhard faggots and therefore was a perfectly suited poolry lit corner for Laurelai to hide in. At some point he managed to get himself into a scuffle with 711chan and Laurelai (Raziel at the time) decided to try to get their hosting pulled by emailing the upstream. Believing he had scored a definitive victory he screencapped this flailing and proceeded to brag about it on his backwater site, in a private members only admin forum of course. However, his attempts failed and he ended up just looking like an idiot much to his frustration. It would not be his last attempt at snitching.

Chanology along with his insignificant forum would serve as his personal hugbox for a few years before the movement died out and everyone stopped giving a fuck. His e-power suddenly depleted, Laurelai sulked around various imagechan communities and engaged in copious troll shielding. Many years later he would use these experiences to brag and show how legit he was despite having no real connections to any of the power players. In Laurelai's mind he had become a feared agent of Anonymous. This would set in motion a long chain of events and eventually introduce her to kayla who also shared her interest in pretending to be a girl.

Decline

Unbeknownst to the rest of the Internet, Laurelai had been ignoring his actual responsibilities in order to dump endless time into his magick and e-reputation. Not only did he have a wife, who he was neglecting, he also had a few kids. Competing for deadbeat dad of the year came naturally to him as he was as talented at being a selfish prick as he was in believing in fake magic powers. His slow descent into madness can be see here:

I actually got up around 9am today. I'm not sure I like writing to the above address. It seems as though I get less mail from this one. You can't blame just your mom and my parents for all this. You've got to take some of the blame. I just realized I couldn't' take it anymore the way things were going before I left. I don't want to do that all over again.
You have to convince me that you're not the person I left. I'm not ready to commit to anyone until I'm convinced they can take care of themselves without financial help of any kind. Going to pantries, having to be on rental assistance, etc. I want to feel free, safe, loved, cared for, beautiful again. I don't have to do anything I don't want to, such as settle differences with anyone but God. I want someone who will go to church with me regularly. Is mature enough to know when he's wrong, could use some improvement, is concerned about others. He doesn't tell me what I would want to hear (I know you don't), doesn't expect me to make promises I can't keep, and he doesn't make promises he can't keep or promises at all for that matter unless asked to. Someone who doesn't do or say things to get me, and turn around, after we're together, and quit those things. This is all that's been on my mind this whole time. It's hard for me to think about all the good things. Especially the bedtime stories, know what I mean? I keep most of these things to myself, and I'm slowly breaking down inside. Don't think I don't cry about things. I hope you've learned from what a lesson that was. I will never accept having to many people living under the same roof. Just me and my family I helped to start period. I'm sorry I couldn't say much else. I've said to much all ready. I hope I don't get lectured for this. I'm waiting on a sign from God to proceed any further. I hope for the best in all this. I'm praying about it often. Take care Wes.

Sincerely,
Kari

How come you don't ever have very much to say when you email me? I thoutht (sic) you got my last letter. I'm hardly ever online when you are. Can't you say more than just a sentence or two? It's a waist (sic) if you don't have more to say. Tell me what's on your mind, I know you have something more to say then "Are you on line?" Spill it. I just got through talking to you on the phone, and you know I'm home now. Get back to me, and tell me more about how you're quiting (sic) smoking. Take care Wes.

Sincerely,
Kari

I haven't told you that you've been spelling there wrong and maybe too. " Are you thare (sic)?" See what I mean. I testdrove two vehicles today. A 1990 Oldsmobile Delta 88, and a 1983 Thunderbird. The Olds's (sic) transmission was going out, and the Thunderbird smoked and idled. No luck today.What took you so long to get back to me anyway? The computers on base? I sent my last email around midnight last night, and you're usually up then. Did you get a voice messege (sic)? "Do not disturbe (sic)."
You must have had your phone turned off snoozing...LOL... Get back to me, take care Wes.

Sincerely,
Kari

Hi sweetheart,
What's been going on? I haven't heard from you since the eleventh. I miss you a lot. I took mark to get his check today. It turns out he got a full paycheck. He's keeping some to himself for his rollplaying (sic) on saturday and giving us the rest. I want to know if you got your wooden box in the mail yet. I'd like to know that you are doing okay. I'm sad cause i haven't heard from you :(.
I would love to hear from you on the phone. I love you very much and hope to hear from you very soon. :)

Love,
Trinity Bailey|

hey wes,
if you needed something why didn't you send me an e-mail? why did you e-mail mark?
please reply, my ssn# is ***-***-***
why do you need it?
love you,
trinity

hey,
It's Christmas Eve, I wish you were here. I love you and I made a pecan pie with dark karo syrup.
Love,
Trinity Bailey}}</center>

Laurelai finally went full retard, believing himself to be transgender after confusing magick with gender. To make up for the fact that he couldn't bring in any money now that he was full super special snowflake-kin he resorted to pimping his wife out, the mother of his children. With no need for vagina now that he was under the false pretense that he had one he let every dude in Iowa take a shot at her. When this proved to be insufficient he ran away from home and left his kids for good and pawned them off on the poor woman who had to put up with him for years. This began the next chapter in his life. REAL LIFE ADVENTURES.

Laurelai's IRL Adventures

Under no circumstances should you ever, EVER, let Laurelai into your home or near your children.

Living with Deviance

Deviance was one of the many people who pitied Laurelai enough to take him into his home. He was graced with the typical Laurelai experience, which included paying for his squatting ass while he did what he does best. Eventually Laurelai snapped at Deviance's kid and got an iPad stolen, resulting in the final straw and being kicked out yet again. As if being forced to put up with an unhygienic man with more of a claim in being rotting garbage stuck in the wrong body than a woman wasn't terrible enough Wesley took this fight to the Internet. Predictably this set off a cascade of online drama proving once again that living with your IRC friends is a terrible fucking idea.

Moar info: Tsukihi#irl.

A Repeating Pattern

I housed Laurelai for three months. My boyfriend and I brought her here under the guise she was going to freeze to death in her shitty trailer in Iowa (bullshit obviously -- should have really done more research... stupid us). Of course, she had her kids at the time. Solution? Give them to the wife she pimped out (true story -- she really did pimp out her wife, and bragged about it). She also tried to repeatedly break up my boyfriend and I because she felt I was taking her resources. She did this by constantly implying we needed couples' counselling (one to talk!) over stupid fights that SHE deliberately set off at the worst times. She also went out on the internet to be a beggar because she refused to come eat with us (we eat out a LOT and she apparently "can't walk too far anymore" and insisted on not being woken up -- tl;dr lazy cunt). Several times she would come storming out of her room when I peeked my *mouth* (not even my head) in to tell her it was time to eat, getting in my face and being generally obnoxious... I acted calm but really I almost hit her in the face. She came to our house under the guise she was going to work -- we even bought a laptop for her for this purpose. What did she do with it? Use it for nothing but reddit and did 0% work yet claimed she did. She finally left when her cellphone started working again (signalling time to leave I guess... phones don't turn themselves on you know...) and what did she do? Ran to some friend in Arkansas (Kayla came and picked her up... maybe you've heard of her, but Kayla is a truly spiteful cunt and the perfect friend for Laurelai). She got us death threats from people on reddit IRL until she was forced to step down -- true story. Really though, part of the shitstorm was due to her being a cunt on Reddit and pissing other people off. I advise everyone stay away from this bitch AND DON'T DO WHAT WE DID!!! She is treacherous and can't be trusted.

[-+]Laurelai at nenolod's place

I think it's high time Laurelai be outed for who she is...

I made the stupid mistake of accepting Laurelai into me and my boyfriend's home (relocating her from Iowa at a whopping cost of $1000, which was whatever as we had just sold our house for considerably more) three months ago, around New Years Day. I can't believe I made this stupid mistake. We thought she 1) got the short end of the stick as the FBI visit was wrongful (she wasn't in Lulzsec -- I swear this part is one of the few true things she has ever said), 2) she wasn't so bad (this part was bullshit). I will now explain why I don't believe either of these reasons were true.

Now, I proposed Laurelai come here and use her many contacts to market a product that was really a front for the other things the company had planned. I should make note of that -- she wasn't doing anything major. She was literally there to be a social networking whore. That's all. Instead this sort of backfired, but we take responsibilty for that aspect. She was also sort of here "for the lulz" as we thought it'd be hilarious. Well, it was... in that I get to reveal this much about her.

For starters, she abandoned her kids in Iowa with her ex-wife who she bragged about how she slept with just before she left even though her ex-wife had a new boyfriend. She also bragged a lot about her she pimped out her wife -- which is public record, but still, that's fucko. She liked to talk massive shit about her kids and how they drove her nuts and couldn't stand them, then subsequently get pesudo-angry when anyone called her out on it. Yeah.

Something Laurelai markets as a point of pride is the fact she is a massive social engineer. She is such a great engineer she makes a point in telling this to me and my family. My mother, who had just moved here a few months ago, didn't have much to give anyone. Since her cigarette addiction, well, costs a lot of money (she will tell you she smokes a pack a day -- a more realistic number is around 4), she had to get smokes from somewhere. She used to take them from the people who had the least: my family (a very low income family, which houses 5 of my siblings), random bums on the street (yes, she took cigarettes from bums), and random people in parking lots who were people I wouldn't want to interact wth normally. Here's the even more despicable part: she used to engineer food from people by claiming we didn't feed her. This is all bullshit. She will tell you her fat arse lost weight from not eating; here's the truth: she slept 14 hours a day after smoking weed (she would take what little funds she got (as she did no real work for our company) and just buy weed and sleep) and was insistent on not being woken up. She in fact, would scream and verbally abuse us for such, and warn us not to do so lest fear physical violence. Now see, in this household we generally eat out a lot (>10x weekly). The reality is she wouldn't get up and come with us to go eat. She would rather sleep, or when she wasn't sleeping, Skype. She would then go on the internet and try to get us pizza (which we didn't need) by engineering people and tell them we were starving her and she had lost weight -- which was good, it made her almost look like a woman and less like Fat Bastard. When we did make food at home, she would often let it sit on the counter for hours at a time to the point where I just ate it -- in retrospect she would wait for me to eat it -- and then whine about how I had eaten her food that had sat there getting cold for 5 hours despite being told there was food.

Which leads me to my next point. She was VERY insistent on privacy, which is cool and all, but apparently even peeking my mouth into a doorway to tell someone food is ready because they aren't listening is an egregious privacy violation (the truth is she didn't want her friends finding out we were feeding her... yep). She would then storm out of the room naked (picture a short, ugly 30 year old transwoman who is quite overweight and has a really tiny cock) screaming at me to knock or "else." Yes, in my own house, she had the gaul to get in my face because I told her friend she had food. I acted calm but the reality is only self-restraint and a knowledge she would be psycho enough to press charges kept me from hitting her in her face, and I'm generally very nonviolent.

She also tried to break up me and my boyfriend on numerous occasions by starting really bad fights and setting us by the ears. She would often suggest we needed "couples counselling" or "to break up" -- strong words coming from the woman who bragged about pimping out her wife (which I called her out on when I had enough of her shit). Ever since she has left our household me and my boyfriend have gotten along better than ever and have both realised what Laurelai was doing -- starting stupid pointless arguments and blowing things out of proportion, and riling us up at key moments. It was generally, as they say, bullshit. My best theory as to why she was doing this was because she wanted the resources I consumed for herself. I come to this reasoning because she liked to point out how I ate her food all the time (see above) and consumed lots of drink (I didn't consume any more than she did, in fact, less). Yes, this woman has a few screws loose, but that's to be expected from the likes of her.

I would like to remark she is not a very good transwoman. Most people who encounter her find her to be a joke of a transwoman. I am transgender and a bit of a tomboy (yes, transwomen can be tomboys, there's no rule against it :p) but she did not take her transition seriously. Her HRT consisted of black market spiro only which without estrogen will result in brittle bones and could result in a hip fracture and associated complications like osteonecrosis (as an EMT in training I know). She enjoyed living under the radar and didn't want taxes withheld (for reasons she wouldn't disclose -- mostly 'cause she was a chode) so she would have never gotten it fixed. She likes to go around bitching to people that off of HRT she is whiny and awful and paranoid. This is all false. She showed up here without HRT, and was fine. Laurelai doesn't want to be a transwoman. She wants to be a chick with a dick and get the privileges of a woman plus the feminism. I think it's part of some attention gathering scheme.

She also liked to claim she was deeply involved in OWS and claimed she was in NYC several times. She tried to claim Occupy Tulsa was not run by hipsters or hijacked by out of towners -- both of which I witnessed first hand. I mean, I only live here, and have lived here longer than she has, I think I'd know an out of towner, whilst she's just a pilferer-descended sociopathic lunatic from Arkansas who liked to refer to the Benton County jail as a "supermax" (it was just a regular jail -- again, just a stupid chode).

She especially likes to use the trans thing as a bargaining chip in arguments. If I ever hear the words "cisgender piece of shit" again in my life I will blow a fuse or two. She really, really hates cisgender people -- or so she claims. I think she's doing it for the attention and the controversy, like the claiming to be Raziel bullshit. In order to get more people into her percieved imaginary army (yes she feels her friends are a personal army -- even us, which well, we broke her of that REAL fast), she considers anyone with any gender dysphoria transgender for the sake of argument and controversy. Never mind this includes 60% of the planet who have at one time or another have had some form of gender dysphoria. Just because you have an occasional moment where you feel you want to be the other gender does not make you transgender, what makes you transgender is when you're putting on the opposite gender's clothing and living as such. I think the fact of the matter is she sees being transgender as a social club and she wants all the privileges, e.g., manipulating poor community members, using it as an excuse for doing stupid shit as she "has lived past her expected life span" (she hasn't for America), etc.

Also, her drama from Reddit kept spreading to my IRL social circles. I know a Reddit administrator who warned me in fact that people were witch-hunting us and threatening to burn our house down (which isn't surprising given our part of Oklahoma has a large gay community that felt marginalised in /r/lgbt and a LOT of them are seriously fucking scary). Make no mistake though -- in the end her resignation was forced, partially due to us threatening to disconnect her from the Internet, and partially since people and Reddit admins had enough of her shit. Plain and simple.

She also has a serious internet addiction problem. We got her a company laptop (which wasn't for her per se -- it was the company's laptop, but I'll get to why we let her keep it). Using your laptop in public is one thing. Using the damn thing at a cheque cashing place in the hood is another. There was a bloody pawn shop across the street. She just sat there in the cheque cashing place using her laptop with black people staring and all (in her world, nobody was around). she also would randomly start using it when walking until the hotspot was turned off. What was she doing the entire time? Reddit and IRC. Mostly Reddit.

One thing Laurelai did once was bring her friend (who was a hooker -- not even kidding) from Colorado here to our house and smoke PCP-laced weed (my brother, my ex-pothead boyfriend, and I all concurred, having smelled PCP laced weed before, her weed had dust in it). Her friend brought a giant German Shepherd. Now, we have this old Savannah cat named Notch. For those of you who don't know what a Savannah is, it's a cat who is 1/4 serval, a type of African wildcat. Cujo as I affectionately referred to him as was attacked several times by this unauthorised dog who just thought it was ok to do that. They left in a hurry and Laurelai ran off to Colorado for a week, only to come back on Greyhound when this friend realised "lol this was a bad idea" after coming off her high. Did I mention this hooker lady has a kid apparently? And does drugs? Yeah. Truly enlightening individual.

Now, towards the end of her stay with us, she ran off with this one FtM chick from southern Oklahoma. Unfortunately, this person found out about Laurelai's past and returned her to sender about 3 days later. Laurelai stayed with us for 24 hours before running off to Arkansas. What triggered the running? Well, her phone started working out of the blue -- not even kidding. It just started working again for no apparent reason, being able to make calls and everything. She told us that she was apparently wanted for testimony by the US Marshalls. As it turns out though, Laurelai could have ran off with these people at any time and not frozen to death in Iowa. Congratulations me, you got played by a total fucking shitcunt. As for the $1500 macbook we let her keep? (btw, total bill of expenses for her: $4,000, in the grand scheme of things just a pittance) We let her keep it. It has a GPS chip in it anyway and we don't care about it anymore. We just didn't want the feds showing up and seizing it.

So yeah, post-exit, Laurelai has apparently been hiding in Arkansas but I've heard other things like she's with this other IRC friend or whatever. I don't really care. I think Laurelai has found someone else to use for now until they realise she's a piece of shit and a puddle of piss.

All I can say is, if Laurelai ever says anything, take it with a grain of salt, and good riddance to the bitch. -- Elizabeth Myers

One should note that this strikes a level of similarity to previous Laurelai-related incidents on a creepy level. Laurelai's only comment on the matter being:

“	<Laurelai> SanguineRose_: go suck jen emicks cock some more	„
— he ~~she~~ IT Only God Knows Now Is MAD

It appears nenolod and his fiance wrote a letter for readers everywhere to enjoy. Mirrored Forever For Truth And Love.

[-+]Laurelai living with Zombie

The Truth about Laurelai needs to get out:

It's about time that someone went ahead and exposed this person for the manipulitive bitch she is. Laurelai is a very familiar name to a lot of you here on reddit. I had the misfortune of interacting with her in person for about a month. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

First off, I will not be posting any personal information here. Not because I care about what happens to this person but because I don't want harm to come to the people that may have also interacted with her.

Not at the beginning of July I was told that if I could house Laurelai for a short time that she wouldn't cause any trouble. Now I guess me being the person I am was stupid enough to believe this and spent ~$300 in gas to get this person. Yeah I realize that I was a fool for believing what I was told, but that's what makes me who I am.

On to the first week, SO everything is going okay, I'm letting her settle into where she lives. One thing I was not told, was she does nothing but reddit or IRC during the day, and on top of that she is active with [REMOVED PER REDDIT RULES]. Yet I am made uncomfortable when I am getting messaged on my personal site by someone that knows my home address and who I am living with, as well as my full name.

I digress, what I have come to say is that like the pastebin that has been floating around on the net, Laurelai is impossible to live with, I understand that you may have certain food allergies that prevent you from eating foods. Yet I do not think it is that hard to, after or during the time you make food for yourself, to clean up and dispose of anything that needs to be put in the trash. This person does not understand the concept of cleaning up after yourself. In any way. I believe that had I not gotten up in the morning to clean up the mess that was left the night before, nothing would have gotten done. My living partner rarely if ever showered, and the smell was actually enough to get ingrained into my apartment(I am actually in the process of getting rid of the couch this person slept on), but rarely showering I mean 3-4 times in a month, and even then I doubt the water even touched a part of this person's body. Food was left out over night, drinks were half finished and left sitting where ever, dishes were left in the sink until I came along to do them. This person never left the screen they were sitting in, be it playing video games or on a combination of IRC/Reddit. This person made no effort to bring in money to help pay for the things she needed, nor did she make an effort to find employment, made harder by the fact she has no form of ID. I did offer to help her get the necessary documents to find employment, come to find out she does not want a “conventional” job but instead wants to be a sex worker, and while I have no problem with this I do have a problem with random johns in my living area.

NOW there are claims by her here on reddit that I raped her, now yes we had “sexual relations” all with her consent. We had an argument one night and I will admit I did fly off the handle at the state of my apartment. After that (4 days) we did engage in a sexual act( I recommend NOT DOING ANYTHING SEXUAL WITH THIS PERSON) again, verbal consent was given, several times. On August 6th when I drover her to [REMOVED PER REDDIT RULES] to hand her over to a new roommate I was made aware by a mutual friend that they were told that I forcibly raped her. These are false allegations and they are being spread by someone that has an extreme internet addiction, a few hours without internet and they get extremely hostile and look for other ways to get online.

My partner and I were also harassed and attacked over twitter, her tweets have since been deleted.

TL;DR- There is no TL;DR read it and inform yourselves.

My stuff that I feel applies to this that I've been made aware of and want to pass on to you all

Unfortunately when Zombie posted the following screenshots to /r/casualIAMA, he got shadowbanned because reddit doesn't allow personal info

While Laurelai was living with Zombie, they had an argument one day, and then the day after they had sex...to which Laurelai claimed it was rape because he never uses enough lube and it was unenjoyable for him. This story got out after Laurelai moved on to the next person to mooch off of. Also mirrored forever For Truth And Love.

Rape

Saying Wesley has a long history of unwanted sexual contact is like saying Tony Montana had a slight cocaine addiction, a true understatement of our era. He has been both accused of rape and lied about being raped himself, like anyone would ever want to fuck that. Thus becoming one of the rare few to truly accomplish raping the meaning of the word. With Laurelai's entire contact with the outside world being reduced to Twitter he will do anything to dodge these accusations so be sure to bring them up as often as possible. Tell his SJW friends, respond to everything he says with mentions about it, and remind him of his status as a rapist for however long he tries to claim he is fighting for women's rights.

Very Real

Ever obsessed with being an even bigger piece of shit than what was previously thought Laurelai has taken to becoming a serial rapist after his outing as a snitch and Worst Reddit Mod ever. Fortunately for most of the population he has been rejected from nearly every community on the face of the planet at this point. This left him with only one option, to start trolling for sympathy from circles of transpeople so lonely they will put up with him endlessly. When not bitching about non-existent persecution and being trolled by Cathy Brennan of all people he stalks and sexually molests his last available allies. If you mention this to him he will fly into a rage:

Multiple sources have confirmed that not only is Laurelai a degenerate monster but will threaten to call the police on anyone who outs him as a sexual deviant. This is hilarious considering the ramifications of what would happen if anyone ever went to the police about him. Currently there is an entire group of women who claim to have been abused by Laurelai so please be sure to submit as many police reports about him as possible. Now that he has zero friends due to his past escapades of fucking up his only outlet is endlessly blogging about social justice topics. The more of these people who know about his status as a rapist, the better!

Not Real

After being rejected by his newest love interest, Zombie, Laurelai completely flipped a shit and claimed he was raped rather than face the reality that he was a disgusting shitbag who didn't deserve the affections of other human beings. In the end the only thing he managed to accomplish was a reason for no one to believe him when someone accused him of the very same thing.

Snitchvestite

Before becoming the self-proclaimed quee-king of Reddit traps, Laurelai tried making a name for itself as a blackhat hacker in the group Gn0sis, the predecessor of Lulzsec. The group, lead by Sabu, took credit for the HBGary Hack and the eventual crash-and-burn of their president Aaron Barr, in an act of extreme moralfaggotry exposing some government spying bullshit that nobody outside of Anonops gave a fuck about.

Despite being an IT professional, Laurelai's only contributions to the group were indignant whining and leaking private chat logs to the FBI. Hesheit was hastily disowned by anyone and everyone who values the lulz, and would become a punching bag for Lulzsec until they inevitably bit off more than they can chew. Months later during the Lulzsec investigation, its home would be raided by agents seeking information on a member who pretended to be a 16 year old girl. The person in question would later be revealed as a 20-something male britfag, however since Laurelai was under the impression that this person was an underage girly hacker, questions arise as to whether or not this disgusting piece of shit is actually a pedophile.

Laurelai snitched on his friends to the FBI.

Unfortunately for Laurelai the logs she leaked to the feds ended up containing no useful information whatsoever. So after spending months bragging about how he brought down the feared Lulzsec and ceased all of Sabu's welfare checks he was forced to go into full damage control mode. After all his selling out Laurelai was finally outed as the worst kind of snitch, a failed one, thus bringing his total online victories to a grand 0. He received no federal informant cash, he did not pass go, and he didn't even collect 200 dollars. Now he lives at home with his mom inbetween mooching off of anyone who believes his fervent lies about his online infamy.

Phobos/Laurelai is a known Fed enabler, avoid them at all costs.

Use scrollbar to see the full image

Life and times of Laurelai

Social Justice Wesley

After his adventures with the federal government Wesley returned to his caring way too much about the Internet roots. With no community willing to put up with him, Scientology long since dead, and being known far & wide as a snitch he had few options left available. Eventually he settled on pursuing a career in professional oppression despite spending his entire life abusing women and the transgendered. Since everyone and their fucking mother hate him he concluded that his talents were best put to use toward Social Justice because if anyone should be fighting for justice it's the faggot who tried to put his friends in jail.

Much to Laurelai's chagrin people have not forgotten how much of a colossal dickbag he is and no matter how low he flies under the radar he has been met with a constant stream of reminders for why he should kill himself. To keep his hugbox comfortable he has countered by refusing to interact with anyone unless granted admin privileges or the ability to block all dissent from reaching his grease coated eyes. Unsurprisingly, he is most active on Twitter and Facebook. Incontinent with a mere bronze at the oppression Olympics and because tumblrinas have no concept for how anything works let alone the real world or computer technology he founded SJWiki. Yes SJWiki, the tire fire of a website not even a Somali could appreciate.

Twitter: Say Hi to Wesley!
Facebook: Diary of a Mad Cocksucker

Laurelai Posting CP on 8chan

After becoming staff of SJWiki there was no way this faggot would not stick his head into GamerGate. Yet, somehow, he remained conspicuously silent instead focusing his efforts on taking glamour shots with firearms to scare off CIS SCUM. That is, until he created a board on 8chan dedicated to CP and sent a link to it to a Canadian gaming journalist.

While the "proof" was celebrated by the likes of Sarah Butts, sadly for Laurelai, he was soon exposed by someone on tumblr because he was stupid enough to advertise his other shit on his fucking child porn site. Even more funny is the actual results of his actions - They reportedly downloaded the CP to put it in his article. Only, legally speaking, everything he downloaded wasn't CP. In the US that is! In Canada it actually is considered child pornography and the reporter was himself reported on... to the police! We now await for him to be arrested for more lulz.

Laurelai the Tranny Hooker

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5bux was his going rate

Laurelai on Reddit

Laurelai, post "transition", found in his native habitat - a shithole trying to e-conquer Reddit.

is...

endless...

Laurelai spends up to 20 hours a day on Reddit, where he used to moderate several of the LGBT boards, but still moderates the transgender boards. Laurelai is also known for banning people who disagree with him and generally being an intolerable cunt, in the process pissing everyone off. Here he is being an excellent trans-friendly moderator. He's also known for framing a doctor as pedophile. In spite of all of his whining about creating a "safe space" and being a social justice warrior, Laurelai is actually a racist, a homophobe, an anti-semite, a false rape accuser, and a rapist.

After perfecting his moderating abilities at the LGBT subreddit and making it a welcoming place for all "non-cis-heteros", Laurelai decided he was going to gracefully step down as a mod after claiming some neckbeard called his house and threatened to burn it down. He then tried to make everyone feel guilty for driving him off by appointing "an even more radical trans-feminist than [him]" named RobotAnna.

Meanwhile, Laurelai was busy shitting up reddit's transgender, occupywallstreet, anonymous, and anarchism subreddits. Even though Laurelai admits he is not an anon, Laurelai still moderates r/anonymous. During one year, Laurelai removed four other mods from r/transgender, banned over 9000 users, and prompted one of the mods to leave & post logs of the modmail, as proof of Laurelai's shitlordiness. Lately, Laurelai has been hallucinating while sober. (Scroll and read the bottom) This may be because Laurelai is holy shitballs insane.

Laurelai also fears getting doxed, but will happily dox:

1. The doctor (mentioned above), again and again, to win an internet argument.

2. A fellow troll.

3. The guy who brought that troll to reddit.

4. A 15 year old girl, who Laurelai was creeping on. (This is also why Laurelai was banned from r/ShitRedditSays, but Laurelai just used an alt to get around the ban.)

Somewhere between, little Wessy apparently tried to get a Reddit mod drunk and then attempted to fuck her face. After that failed he tried to get her to fuck him in the ass but to no avail. After all this happened, said person had some fun on a few Reddit subs she had mod on and changed the css a little bit. Recently, Laurelai has recently taken to grooming young children on the Minecraft server, Civcraft, which is a reddit based server that places emphasis on sociopolitical conflict between it's players. When driven into a rage he will retreat to MineCraft so if you ever manage to rumple his sweaty tranny ass go find whatever faghat server he is on for further amusement.

Nudes (TRIGGER WARNING: SHEMALE COCK)

Laurelai Nudes About missing Pics

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Oh and a sextape!

Featured article May 20 & 21, 2012
Preceded by Venusangelic	Phobos/Laurelai	Succeeded by Italy

Featured article January 14th & 15th, 2015
Preceded by Russia Today	Phobos/Laurelai	Succeeded by The Sarkeesian Effect

Phobos/Laurelai: Difference between revisions

Latest revision as of 03:06, 15 January 2015

Contents

Before E-Fame

Decline