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Revision as of 13:07, 11 February 2015

WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE~
Wylona likes to smudge/blur shadows beneath her breasts to create the illusion that they're larger than they actually are.
Wylo has this tendency to go back and "repost" old photos; but not before editing the already edited images. Notice dem fingertips.

Wylona Hayashi is a wapanese Singaporean blogger known for spamming the internet with her photoshopped selfies, taken against the wall in her bedroom. Her edits consist of making herself look paler than what she really is, enlarging the eyes (while simultaneously shrinking the pupil of her circle lenses) and lips, shrinking the nose, slimming the waist, arms, and legs, and basically radically altering the entirety of her appearance so that she is no longer recognizable.

Wylona's panhandling extends beyond asking for handouts from her internet fans. Her marked inability to maintain any friends in real life is also attributed to her being a parasite who constantly latches on to richer friends (i.e. everybody) and asking them to pay for, amongst other things, a new computer, cab rides, dog surgery and makeup. Her all-encompassing cheapness ultimately resulted in her getting a massive, poorly-done self-designed tattoo on her stomach, which would not have happened if she wasn't too cheap to actually pay a tattoo artist.







Wylona's Tattoo

Wylona likes to pretend she's poorer than she really is, but constantly takes selfies that show off her shit.
2edgy4me

Wylona had posted on her Facebook that she was getting a tattoo done. The tattoo is designed by Wylona and a "friend," who was also the same person who inked the tattoo on her stomach. It is assumed that due to the contrast in styles that the middle of the tattoo was designed by Wylona, while the sides of the tattoo was designed by her friend. However, this has yet to be confirmed. The only thing that can be said for certain is that the middle part of her tattoo is a poorly-done portrait of herself.




Despite the fact she has gone this far as to get her face permanently inked to her stomach, Wylona continues to deny her narcissism. She also excuses the horrible proportions and general shittiness of it by saying it was done in an "anime style." Because all poorly-done artworkz is animu.






Apparently Wylona also hasn't learned the first time around that cheaping out on a tattoo is a bad idea. Wylona wants her tattoo fixed, but as she states on Twitter (along with begging her underaged followers for free trips), it has to be done for free.



Scams

Recently Wylona has failed to follow through on promoting items from certain stores online. She would ask for items to get sent free, then she would just ignore all further messages from store owners as soon as she gets the items. When she DOES reply, she'll just make all kinds of excuses (like her being busy, her computer being broken, or she's too sick), and then just continue to ignore them. She has even gone as far as blocking these store owners from her social media accounts.

darklittlefaun

darklittlefaun An interaction between Wylona and store owner, darklittlefaun. Wylona hadn't responded to the store owner in a while, claiming she was "too busy."





It had been two months since Wylona last got in contact with darklittlefaun. Now she's saying she's busy, her computer is broken, all of her "electronics are pretty bad,"
and she's too "broke" to fix anything. So then. HOW is she able to send the seller these messages, if her world appears to be falling the fuck apart?









"Meh. Taking photos for a shop that's generous enough to send me free items is WAAAAY TOO HARD! Better just block them."







elvish_prince

cyberspace-princess/elvish_prince (Klaudia) The owner had went on PULL, posting conversations between her and Wylona. Wylona scammed three necklaces from her.





Wylona kept making excuses as to why she hadn't promoted Klaudia's shop. *cough* *cough* "I'm sick~"









Another excuse about her broken computer. Yet she's able to send messages. Hm...









The store owner had tried to get in contact with Wylona on Instagram, only to be ignored.







Despite the evidence, Wylona has denied all claims of scamming anyone.





Begging For Shit

Wylona is constantly whining on her social media accounts that her fans should give her stuff. Just cuz'.

Her Twotter account is full of Tweets of her asking her teenaged audience to buy her expensive shit, like trips to Korea, an iPhone, and a Macbook. PLZ DONATE IPHONEZ I AM SOOO POOR WITH INTERNETZ, CIGARETTES, AN EXPENSIVE CAMERA, PHOTOSHOP, AND A COMPUTER! HELP!!


Wylona also refuses to get a real job. She believes sitting on her ass, taking selfies, and Photoshopping the ever-life out of her face is a "freelance" job, and expects her followers to donate money so she can continue to do this "job."


YouTube

Wylona's Youtube channel is a collection of short and pointless videos. We expect longer videos, once Wylo has figured out a way to master After Effects! She deleted her Youtube channel, but as a bonus, here's another short and pointless video uploaded by someone else!

I-i-is it even human???

Photoshop

Wylona has been Photoshopping the fuck out of her face since forever. Recently, Wylona has been trying to convince people she's Benjamin Button, and has aged backwards into a kawaii desu Korean ulzzang!

Wylona went from this



To this



To this



And says it was just with the assistance of a simple Instagram filter!




And yes, her dumb-as-bricks fanbase actually believe her.



Without Editing About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
Photoshopped images (plus Before/Afters) About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Wylona's Mother

Due to unknown circumstances, Wylona's father was out of the picture. Wylona had only lived with her mother. But unfortunately, Wylona's mother abruptly passed away due to cancer. Not much is known about Wylona's family. But Wylona has made several posts about her mother. And they're all awful and offensive.

First, during the last stages of Wylona's mother's life, Wylona decides to open a Youcaring.com donation fund. The donations were supposedly for Wylona to have a proper funeral for her mother. But Wylona also seizes the opportunity, and decides to ask for whooping $20,000. That's right: 20 fucking thousand dollars. For a funeral.




A few fellow Singaporeans have chimed in on Wylo's panhandling, elaborating that the $20,000 would only be for a super fancy funeral, and that traditionally, relatives of the dead would receive free money gifts anyway. So there you have it, folks. Wylona using her dead mother to sucker in some cash. Good job, Wylona!




After the passing of Wylona's mother, Wylona made a few posts on Facebook, asking if her fans want to come to the funeral. Yes, she invited her followers to the funeral, like it was some kind of fan-signing.

Wylona had also posted an open casket selfie of her mother on her Facebook. When her followers freaked out, she defended herself by saying her mother would have "wanted this," and by calling it "art." NO, IT'S NOT DISRESPECTFUL!!! IT'S ART!1!



Many also suspected Wylona only posted this open casket photo to prove that she really does look the way she Photoshops herself, and that she gets her "looks" from her mother. The reason for this suspicion is that other photos have surfaced of Wylona's mother, and she looks way different than the casket photo Wylo posted. So there's a strong possibility that Wylo, being a vapid and vain bitch, Photoshopped her dead mother, just to look cool on the Internet.

Pictured: Wylona's mother (RIP), the devil herself, and some poor unwilling fellow sucked into this bullshit.



From time to time, you will still see Wylona post photos of her passed-away mother on her Facebook and Instagram. Once, Wylona posted what appears to be an old photo of her mother. Her mother had curly hair, or what Wylona charmingly refers to as "nigga hair." Totally not racist at all!



Nudes

Being the intelligent, not attention-seeking Tumblr whore Wylona is, there are quite a few nudes. Her body/face is inconsistent in all of them, an obvious sign they've been photoshopped to hell and back.

Some of them get thrown under the rug as being "artistic", as one of the rules for classy avant-garde hipster art is to get naked for no reason. But Wylo has more than just shitty artsy nudes. One appears to be a screencap from a homemade sex video, that showcases Wylo sucking tiny penis. She has took the liberty of photoshopping the fuck out of her face, even when it is just a pic of her mid-blow job. Another is an animated GIF of Wylo showing off her pubes. Of note is her magically-shapeshifting waist and titties, and a bellybutton that won't stay in one place.

As in the spirit with all special snowflake goddessuz, they crave attention and approval from their fantards, and post everything publicly to their blog/social network profile. They thrive on their interwebz persona as a way of self-medicating their insecurities. When they get the right amount of likes/reblogs/ass-kissing comments that satisfy their insecurities, they promptly delete fucking everything and deny its existence. Like a true blue 'flaker.

B-but it's art!1! About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

BUT SHE'S INNOCENT GUYZ!

As per many tumblrtards, Wylona doesn't see herself as an attention whore and scammer.

She posted a lulzworthy wall of text on her Instagram, defending herself.


Quotes of special note:

"I have many problems" Well, at least she's right about that.

"I don’t wear bikinis to beaches, i don’t like revealing clothes" But nudes and blowjob pics are okay?

"I like making art i dare to show my body for photos because i think it’s beautiful to be able to create photos like that. But i’m actually not the person you think i may be. I would say i’m quite cool but can be really funny and awkward/shy." It's okay, guizes! She takes nudes FOR TEH ARTZ! She's not attention-seeking! She's actually very nerdy, shy, and awkwardz!

"I don’t wear loads of make up either i’m actually quite natural in person" Probably because you can't photoshop reality.

"I have a lot of sides to me this isn’t all and my photos can lead to misunderstandings when it can be sexual or daring but in reality i’m even afraid to hold hands with someone." See, she's soooo shy and crippled with anxiety that she can't even hold hands with anyone! :'( But she isn't too shy for BJs!


Here's the whole textwall, pasted here before she deletes!1!


[2]

hayashiwylona 1 month ago

It’s funny how people really do not know me at all, i’m actually not a loud person in real life. I have many problems, i am not rich or glamorous and i’m certainly very chilled out,it’s like i’m boyish but i can be feminine. I don’t wear bikinis to beaches, i don’t like revealing clothes i love wearing jackets and jeans but it’s really humid in Singapore. I don’t dress like how i do in most photos in real life. I like making art i dare to show my body for photos because i think it’s beautiful to be able to create photos like that. But i’m actually not the person you think i may be. I would say i’m quite cool but can be really funny and awkward/shy. I don’t wear loads of make up either i’m actually quite natural in person, i laugh a lot too. People who have met me in person from knowing me online knows that that is Wylona but my photos is another part of me that shows how much i dare to do it because i appreciate and love what i do. I have a lot of sides to me this isn’t all and my photos can lead to misunderstandings when it can be sexual or daring but in reality i’m even afraid to hold hands with someone. Also you only get to see a photo but you’ll never be able to touch this person so to me half nudity isn’t really a problem if someone loves you they love you for who you really are flaws or not but i have stopped doing it for a year now because i’m not feeling it & my tattoo isn’t done either. Really can’t judge someone by it’s cover.


External links

Note: Wylona thinks she can hide from the lulz, and changes usernames like it is her boyfriend! Don't be surprised if a link is dead.

 deadwylona
wylonahayashi

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