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| {{Rainbowsmall|The most overrated console of all time.}}
| | FUCKING LOSERS |
| [[File:Mac mini nes.jpg|thumb|Nintendo's failed attempt at releasing a CD-based system before Sega and NEC.]]
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| [[File:NES Rape.png|thumb|right|A truly immersive gaming experience.]]
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| '''''The NES''''' is a system made by Nintendo [[at least 100 years ago|about 100 years ago]]. It is widely regarded as the best system ever by all except [[basement-dweller|Atari fatties]] because it made people realize that [[Atari]] is shit. It is advisable to use emulators because if you were to play an NES for real, you are required to [[Oral sex|blow into the game]] for hours until it actually works. Although the NES is the coolest system evar, [[hot topic]] [[fags]] like to pretend to like it by wearing cool shirts with NES characters and icons on them. Depending on how many games you played in a day, you could expect to spend half of your entire fucking day blowing on a speck of dust to get the cartridge to play.
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| Because everyone and their mother had a "Nintendo," video games are called "Nintendo games" by old people even today.
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| ==Landmark Titles==
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| ===Bokosuka Wars (1985)===
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| [[Image:Bokosuka.gif|150px]]
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| [[Image:Budd_Dwyer_NES.jpg|thumb|right|150px|It would go on to outsell even the NES itself.]]
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| ===[[Budd Dwyer]] (1987) ===
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| ''Budd Dwyer'' capitalized on the [[suicide]] fad of the late 1980s by allowing [[Americunts|Middle Americans]] to experience the thrill of ventilating their skull without any of the [[Pain_Series|messy]] and permanent [[death|drawbacks]].
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| === [[Metal Gear Solid| Metal Gear/Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake]] (1988) ===
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| Metal Gear and its [[Shit|sequel]] were the first "[[Jew|Stealth-Em-Up]]" games ever invented, the brainchild of [[Japan|Hideo Kojima]] and one of the few titles released for the [[Portal:Gaming|MSX]] and the [[Fail|MSX2]]. Its gameplay featured running left right, up down, shooting [[Megaman|megaman]] pellets from your guns, and... well, let's face it; unless you're a [[faggot|die-hard fan]] you wouldn't play this trash for longer than five-minutes if it came along today. The best part of the game is [[Star Wars|burning your own father who you're really a clone of]] alive. [[For the Lulz|Twice]].
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| === [[World War II|Bionic Commando]] (1988) ===
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| [[Image:Hitler Explodes.gif|thumb|right|Bionic Commando: The greatest moment in video game history.]]
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| ''Bionic Commando'' is a classic video game fondly remembered as the best game ever despite not having a jump button. This game features a historically accurate plot about Hitler (renamed Master D by [[Jews|censors]]) being resurrected to dominate the world. Despite removing all references to Nazis, it was still revolutionary for introducing the word "damn" to the NES' vocabulary and featuring Hitler's exploding head.
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| === [[Megaman|Mega Man 2]] (1989) ===
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| More like ''[[fag|Faga Man 2]]''.
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| === [[Bad Dudes]] (1989) ===
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| [[Image:Badenoughdude.gif|thumb|right|''Bad Dudes'' is known for its critically acclaimed plot.]]
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| ''Bad Dudes'' is an action game created by Data East. While the game possesses shitty gameplay, this game is still a solid candidate for the best NES game ever due to its plot: rescue [[Ronald Reagan]] from ninjas, dogs, and Karnov, who Data East [[Mary Sue|Mary Sues]] into every single one of their games.
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| === [[Is This Battletoads|Battletoads]] (1991) ===
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| ''Battletoads'' is a video game franchise by Rare Ltd. created to rival the ''Teenage Mutant Colin Barker Turtles'' games. And ''Battletoads'' is a better game, but hard as shit.
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| === Action 52 (1991) ===
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| ''Action 52'' is a [[Doug|very expensive]] video game ($200) created by Active Enterprises, who is nothing more than two [[basement-dweller|basement dwellers]]. Nobody knew it was possible to cram 52 shitty games into one NES cart, which include an even worse rip-off of ''Jaws'' and a queer version of ''Bionic Commando'' in which touching money actually damages you. The most notable of the 52 games, ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles|The Cheetahmen]]'', proves that furfags are responsible for the death of the NES.
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| Active Enterprise held a <s>[http://cheetahmen.silius.net/contest.html contest]</s> (dead link) to see who could beat one of their shitty games for a grand prize of $104,000. Their greatest lulz is that the game was too badly programmed to beat without cheating because the game locks up after two or three stages.{{clear}}
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| ==NES gaming is serious business==
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| <center>
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| '''Just listen to this <strike>guy from boston</strike> Jew'''
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| <youtube>in6RZzdGki8</youtube></center>
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| ==Gallery==
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| {{cg|NES Gallery|NESPIX|center|<gallery>
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| File:Nintendo-punch-out-michael-jackson-1.jpg|[[Mike Tyson's Punch Out]]
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| File:DuckHunter.jpg|[[Chatroulette|Di Di Mau]]!
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| File:Battle Kid NES cart.jpg|[[Is This Battletoads]]?
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| File:Irate nes hand.jpg|[[Irate_Gamer|Incensed Faggot]]
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| </gallery>|<gallery>
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| File:Giant_nes_controller.jpg|[[XBOX HUEG]]!
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| File:2up47xg.jpg|[[Josef Fritzl|Josef's Cellar]]
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| File:MG.jpg
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| File:Action52.gif|The genesis of all badly drawn furry foot fetish art.
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| File:Battletoads.jpg|IS DAT SUM BATTLETOADS?
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| </gallery>}}
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| ==External Links==
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| *[http://www.virtualnes.com/ Play NES in your browser, faggot]
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| *[http://www.nespower.com/ AM I DOIN IT RITE?]
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| {{Gaming}}
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| {{stub}}
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