Jennifer Wilbanks

Rule #1: Never marry someone with a crazy-ass look in her eyes like she does.

Jennifer Wilbanks is a crazy bitch who was pwned by the enormity of her, uh, wedding, and ran away, causing international drama and unintentional lulz.

The Story

At some point Last Thursday, Wilbanks was going to get married. She then became afraid of being a man's slave, and ran away. An intense manhunt then occurred while she befriended some retarded people on a short bus and ended up in New Mexico.

Meanwhile, her fiance, a devout Catholic as well as a devout pussy, cried emo tears upon her return and vowed to marry the crazy bitch anyway.

Recently, she was charged and forced to pay a fine in the form of e-points and sex in the ass to recoup the costs of finding her. She still looks like a crazy person.

How to Exploit the Pain and Suffering of a Real-Life Crazy Person for Drama

Jennifer Wilbanks is the new national distraction now that the new Pope and Terri Schiavo are old meme. This has sparked a national debate and most people know the story. Here are ways to make any discussion dissolve into a flame war.

• Wilbanks said a Mexican kidnapped her. This makes her a dirty fascist racist. pirat_ponton is liable to make this argument in any variety of HTML styles, so either try to beat him to the punch or defend her as a fine upstanding citizen.

• Mock the husband. According to the church they were to be married at, they kept eachother's "purity." This means that he is a technical virgin, even though 13 year old boys have moar sex on a regular basis.

• Call her a fundamentalist whore. Nothing riles up internets conservatives more than putting all forms of Catholics in one tiny box.