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Angela Beesley Starling: Difference between revisions

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Revision as of 05:25, 4 May 2015

One of Angela's favorite hobbies is posing for Bomis.
Angela has been diagnosed with the deadly diabeetus and has only days to live.
If you can't take the heat, get back in the kitchen, woman.
A CG picture of Angela, created by Jimbo himself.

Angela Beesley Starling is a dirty old cybernetic computer program that possesses artificial intelligence, think like SHODAN from System Shock. It has female traits and characteristics, so it is commonly referred to as a "she." Two of her most notable and frightening aspects are her violently malevolent personality and harsh discordant speech. She roams the Interweb of wikis as Angela, developing grotesque cybernetic experiments on unsuspecting people stranded in virtual reality. She has no physical body, but, hardly hampered by this seeming handicap, she has almost all of the Internet in her evil clutches.

She is also the Dark Queen of Wikiland and is thus satanically married to King Jimbo I, whom she affectionately calls "Pussyboy". No, but seriously, she's married to Tim Starling.

Now that the skinny hag is gone from Wikipedia, let's see what her userpage says:

   
 
I've been a Wikipedian since February 2003. I was a member of the Board of Trustees of the Wikimedia Foundation between 2004 and 2006 and chair of the Advisory Board between 2007 and 2012. In 2004, I co-founded Wikia, a project that now has hundreds of thousands of free content wikis. In 2012 I started a new company called Chalk Drop to deliver educational materials to preschoolers.
 

 
 

So, without a word she bailed from the WMF in 2012. What's the "Advisory Board"? fuck if we know. Go and look at Chalk Drop, and it sez "Chalk Drop is currently closed." No word on what her status with Wikia is. Being the co-founder and such.

Her cunty-fresh friends from TOW tried to report her as "missing" and she "corrected" them. Plus begged to have her article deleted yet again, and that was about all she did in 2015.

History

Angela's origins are shrouded in mystery. She is believed to have been a satanic, boney assed AI construct created by Jimbo himself, but this is pure speculation. It is known, however, that when Jimbo pronounced her as Bride and Queen, she gained overwhelming psychic power and influence. Over time she overpowered her erstwhile creator, and twisted Jimbo into her puppet, bending his mind to her will. She used his additional brain to help found a greedy corporate tentacle of the Wikimedia octopus, named Wikia. Which she then helpfully spammed all over Wikipedia. Whilst her cunt swallows galaxies.

Tragically, her reign over the internet, cursed her with a Wikipedia article of her very own, which she hates and has tried to get deleted numpty-nump times. Feel for her. Now doomed to a solitary existence, isolated by her power and madness, Angela is tormented by the thought of vandals and trolls having their way with her article.

Have a look at the litany of deletions. It's not exactly in the same league as the GNAA article, but damn, this is absurd. Whatta fucking mess. Why are there two "2nd nominations", three "3rd nominations", two "4th nominations", and two "7th nominations"? What is all this butthurt, why are the admins so fucking incompetent, and who do you thank/blame??

Too late horny guys, she got married

Angela Beesley's now got a husband, Erik Möller Tim Starling, a Media Wiki developer. Angela is a sexy chyck (in spite of the bones sticking out all over) and could sure do a lot better than Möller who looks just like GreenReaper (no offense to GreenReaper who is pretty hot with a fursuit on burn in hell furfag).

The miss in Unicode

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via Angela Beesley Starling/Unicode

  • Note most of the letters are H, I, or V... Oops, should've spent less time partying with anonymous editors at Wikimania. What will Eloquence say? (Nothing, they're both history at WMF, lolol)

Gallery

Nudes

These pictures were uploaded, and have a high probability of being Angela. Lol.

Contact information

Angela Beesley Starling is part of a series on

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