The Powerpuff Girls

What was Professor Utonium doing making little girls in the first place?

The Powerpuff Girls was a cartoon starring three hand-less prostitots who save the world from an evil monkey. Since it was birthed in the '90s, it is currently a porn favorite among pedophiles such as Bleedman and Mikemedia. Everybody that could claim knowledge about how any episode of this show ends is probably lying because they were too busy pounding themselves to climax over the neighbor's 5-year-old daughter to glance over at the animated loli ass on TV.

Since the show was cancelled, nowadays, The Powerpuff Girls is mainly referenced by the disgusting sacks of neckbeard that masturbate to that other shitty cartoon about brightly colored horses as a means of justifying their disgusting, sub-furfag perversion because the Jew bitch behind their faggy horse cartoon also worked on The Powerpuff Girls and because The Powerpuff Girls is generally well-liked, even among non-pedophiles, this makes their enjoyment of a cartoon designed to sell plastic crap to little girls totally legit. What these horsefuckers do not realize, however, is that The Powerpuff Girls was actually primarily the work of Craig McCracken and that their patron saint, Lauren Faust actually had very little to do with its creation.

Plot

When Professor Utonium realized that he was unable to gain a family the normal way, he decided to use science to grow some children. And as everyone knows, the best way to do this is to toss a bunch of crap into a bowl. Inevitably, everything blew right the fuck up, which, if you remember your high school chemistry, always results in little girls being born. In between pulling shards of Pyrex glass and plastic out of his body, Professor Utonium named his new daughters The Powerpuff Girls and later discovered that they had superpowers, making his name choice a little less retarded. Since the new-age Cabbage Patch dolls were incapable of giving a good hand job, the professor punished them by forcing them to beat up evil robots, space monsters, and demons that just so happened to be in the city he lives in.

Characters

Blossom: Know-it-all ginger who self-proclaimed herself as the leader.

Bubbles: High-pitched, clueless one voiced by Tara Strong. She's the blonde one, wasn't it a little fucking obvious? She also has the ability to talk to animals, but that never did any good unless knowing where alley cats shit ever helped saved the world.

Buttercup: Tomboy with an ego larger than Kirk Johnson's anus.

MoJoJoJo: A green monkey who is the girls' most persistent villain (Yeah, the feces-hurler is the most motherfucker of all the villains). After Professor Utonium created him by accident, he put on a turban and began his historic career of getting into fights with children.

Fuzzy: Pink fur-ball who spends all of his time playing the banjo, hating minorities, thumping bibles, partying with family, and voting for Sarah Palin. These sinister, justice-hating acts usually earned him a well-deserved Cup of STFU from the Powerpuff Girls.

Gangrene Gang: A gang that included a beaner, a fat idiot, a retard, a faggot, and the douchebag leader.

Him: The rape-child of Satan and the guy from The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

The Rowdyruff Boys: The male equivalents of the Powerpuff Girls and subject to shitty romantic fanfiction pairings with their enemies, The Powerpuff Girls. If the last sentence made sense to you, you should spend at least a few seconds feeling embarrassed.

Sedusa: WATCH THE FUCK OUT GIRLS! THIS SLUT CAN CONTROL HER HAIR!

Japan strikes

In 2006, Pedo-culture got its world rocked when The Powerpuff Girls, a show that parodies anime, was made into an anime that parodied its source material. Within that insane whirlwind of double-parody and self-self referencing, the girls were given complete anime makeovers. Utonium was also given a son, but still no wife. Blossom's intelligence was changed into sugar-fetishism that has come to be expected from anime. Buttercup became an even bigger lesbian, but was no longer afraid to admit it. And Bubbles pretty much stayed the same.

If the original Powerpuff Girls was like a fifth-generation inbred Floridian whore, than the Japanese version is like the child that fell out of her while she was walking around, too retarded to know that she was pregnant and not just "getting fat". The show was not quite as well received as one might have expected, mostly because suddenly the girls were too old for the sicko fans of the original show to jerk off to. To the show's credit, it managed to remain significantly less creepy than the Bleedman comic, although it really would have had to work its ass off to out-creepy his work.

Gallery

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  Too old; DO NOT WANT!
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  Fanny minorities cosplaying.

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See Also

• Lolicon
• Spongebob Squarepants
• The Fairly Oddparents
• My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
• Tara Strong

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