BoingBoing

From dull 'zine to dull site to dull blogs—that's BoingBoing.

Mr. BoingBoing, Cory Doctorow, getting some heavy attention from a fellow blogger. Doesn't Cawy look a bit like Peter Sellers as Dr. Strangelove?

Boston BANS BoingBoing for lulz

The Zine

BoingBoing started as a small-time magazine or 'zine, back in the days when retarded people like its founders were not allowed on the Internet. Possibly copying the vastly superior Vague and ANSWER Me!, but adding what its editors felt was a "really kewl, like, y'know, dude", cyberpunk slant. Since it was almost 1990 and even Hollywood was starting to cash in, they were hardly ahead of the pack, but the time was ripe for the target audience.

BoingBoing for On-line Retards

After retarded people started entering the Internet en masse in the first half of the 1990s, the attention whores at BoingBoing had to be there! So they gathered "support" to start a web site.

Crappy Site

BoingBoing became a webturd in 1995, just as millions of knuckle-draggers with Commodore 64s stuck up their asses were discovering that "Web thing". By pretending to have connections with Wired, they gained some viewers among retarded and technologically inept yuppies. 'Twas a good time to start an online religion, with Cory Doctorow as the resident Sewer Master Bator. He's perfect, being a self-promoting shill and a silver-tongued liar.

Actually they started it as a kind of spam site. They showed their love for their readers with a shitload of advertisements filling four-fifths of the screen. Stupid ads, for stupid Web 1.0 startups that are today not even history, and for books written by their asshole pseudointellectual friends. This is what it looked like in 1999; yes, it had an article that babbled about how wonderful pencil sharpeners are.

Crappier Blog

BoingBoing's front page

In 2000, caught up in the fire of their desire to keep the rubes thinking them fashionable, BoingBoing went blog. Nauseatingly, they refer to it as "A Directory of Wonderful Things". Meaning, a blog, written for the extra-dumb. "Directory of Crap Stolen from Other People" would be more like it. Cleverly, they decided it would be easier to simply link to content from other blogs rather than make any of their own, and have proceeded on that line ever since. With massive ads and Javascript raeping your computer, hells yeah.

At some stage they also decided that dealing with or even accepting comments was a bit bothersome, so they did away with comments altogether. It is now debatable whether they have a set of blogs produced by a circle jerk or simply are a circle jerk. In 2007 they added their comments back in but hired a Grammar Nazi, TNH, so that they could be a circle jerk forevar.

They still have a huge advertisement-to-content ratio. Since most of the alleged content is self-promotion, their slogan should probably be All Advertising, All the Time.

Cory Doctorow is Mr. BoingBoing

Looks like the Boingers are inbred.

Though founded by a couple of other losers, BoingBoing were stupid enough to let Cory slime his way in some time this century. Like everything else he touches, Cory is convinced that he has made them not suck, although it's more likely he's turned even more people off the stupid site. Now he is Mr. BoingBoing, and the others can all go off and felch his motherfucking anus for all he cares.

They Hate Freedom!

BoingBoing is strongly anti-free-speech and refrains from showing or giving links to any porn in their rants, unless it's really artsy shit, making it boring even compared with wastes of space like Sensible Erection and Newsfilter.

One Not-Quite-Saving Grace

BoingBoing has Xeni Jardin, the bastard child of a transvestite horse and a clone of Madonna, who decided to go into blogging rather than be accused of being more than a genetic knock-off, Xeni provides basement dwellers and sexless nerds a reason to keep checking BoingBoing on an hourly basis in hopes that she'll finally strip nekkid and take on a bunch of Guatemalan communist insurgent troops in a massive gangbang to end all gangbangs. Little do they know she's really a lesbian intent on converting Cory over to accepting the idea of a sex change from female to male.

When Trannies Attack

After a catfight, Xeni Jardin flushed, Violet Blue, her ex-girlfriend/fuckbuddy down the memory hole. [2] [3] [4]

Wendi Sullivan Blue is an ugly slut.

Xeni responded that she did it at least 100 years ago to support the principles of BoingBoing. She also added that if anyone has a problem with it, they don't get to play with her toys. [5]

Teresa Nielsen Hayden

TNH passed out with her favorite words.[1]

Tesesa Nielsen Hayden is BoingBoing's pet cow (err- "comment moderator"). When she's not whining, censoring and raging, she likes to spend her time pleasuring her lackeys Jew and Antinous. [6] Like Cory Doctorow she is an attention whore and is stuffed full of aids and fail.[7] Cawy says that Teresa is a "troll-whisperer" and that she just pwns trolls. Apparently, Teresa has never met the INTERNET HATE MACHINE. Teresa's hobbies include buttsecks, writing horrible, horrible science fiction, ljdrama, and wikistalking. Her buttbuddy Cawy Doctorow explains on his wikipedia talk page how Teresa had an hilarious flamewar with everyone's favorite wikipedia editor: Will Beback:

"I think that WBB's problem with ML would be that various contributors to the discussion, including TNH herself, posted links to, not just an ED article, but to a specific version of the article from last August which mentioned WBB. While I respect TNH as a person, and admire her work, I feel that linking to an ED article is very rarely a good idea. WBB's reaction to TNH's posting the link is excessive, yes, but have you read what ED said about him?!"

It seems Teresa loves ED too! Make sure to post lots of links to this article on her site! Teresa is also such a petty cunt that she got pwned by Wikipedia. She started making sockpuppets there and got permabanned. [8] Clearly, there is nothing hypocritical about BoingBoing's moderator using sockpuppets. To top it all off, Teresa is a narcoleptic. Narcoleptic means that you'll sleep with anyone, anytime. As you can see in the upper picture, TNH is nodding off.

In an act of extreme unwarranted self-importance and stupidity, TNH claims that she invented the act of removing the vowels from a word. She calls this disembowelment. Sadly she uses this to remove anyone marginally interesting from BoingBoing, when she should use it on the whole site. Luckily some enterprising fellow did disembowel Boing Boing and the quality is much improved.

There is only one way to kill a soulless blood sucker. Also, fail

Notes on abreviations above:

• WBB = Will Beback,
• ML = Making Light: Teresa's awesome weblog. Everyone should visit her site; where she posts about her awesome interests,
• ED = Encyclopedia Dramatica,
• TNH = Teresa Nielsen Hayden is a useless name that she made up to promote gender equity when she got married.

On September 11th, 2008, a chunk of butter in Teresa's system managed to lodge itself into one of her valves and she suffered a heart attack. Unfortunately, she's recovering well in Brooklyn's Lutheran medical Center according to post by her pussy-whipped husband Patrick. Interestingly, however, in the same post he reveals that noted bisexual cat lady Elise Matthesen is their houseguest, conjuring disgusting mental images of fat, fugly nerd threesomes.

If you would like to wish here well, you could try your luck by calling the Lutheran Medical Center at 718-630-7000 .

See Also

• BoingBoing vs Violet Blue: Strap-on Smackdown!
• Leigh Alexander
• Cory Doctorow
• Douchebags
• Subhuman Filth
• Violet Blue
• The Daily Dot

Relevant Sites

Unlike BoingBoing, the 'zine ANSWER Me! had many articles that were lollercaustic. Some samples are found here. After opening, zoom in if they're not readable.

A blog devoted to one of the BoingBoing bloggers who is not Cawy

Another blog (of course), this one devoted to Cawy's BoingBoing blog—it's not very selective, but if you really want to see Cawy proving he's a smug, self-centred, opportunistic attention whore, have a look. The maker is obsessed; there's even a graphing section.

An improved version of BoingBoing

Boing Boing without all the suck

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