User:Jelq/Sandbox

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This faggot waits for the child to make the first move in a sexual situation. You can help by contacting Federal Authorities and alerting Chris Hansen.

	“	This was posted when I had like 6k subs, I didn't know a million people would watch it, I just found it an interesting topic at the time. I love Dream, don't take this the wrong way!! <3	„
	—Beluga, backpedalling because he targeted the favorite youtuber of his target audience, https://youtube.fandom.com/wiki/Beluga#Dream_speedrun_video

In the cesspool that is modern Youtube content made for children gets you a lot of money. The lulzy thing is that there is a subset of said children who are older than the mouth-breathing toddlers who watch 3D cartoons made in heaps by chinese slaves, who think that this somehow makes them immune to grifters seeking to make a quick buck by shitting out low-quality content for them. The best example of such a grifter would undeniably have to be Beluga/Survival Mode/exploreld/Explore Lucid Dreaming/ExploreTV. Formerly known as a lucid dreaming youtuber with a mildly successful channel, this hawaiian child molester has decided to pursue greener pastures by making funny Discord memes for teens of all ages to enjoy instead.

Humble beginnings

Of course he looks like a pedophile.

Beluga began as a lucid dreaming channel, which in itself is a poorly explored psychological phenomenon (read: something not achievable by any of the gen Z kids watching his channel).

This channel didn't start out as anything special, mostly consisting of get-rich-quick-scheme looking thumbnails combined with stock background footage. As with most sleep-oriented channels he didn't neglect to mention the über scary phenomenon of sleep paralysis, because we all know that kids like scary sounding crap. All of this is boring however, and the real lulz start after he decided to abandon his retarded channel to focus on Beluga.

The grift

How it began

Once our brave Hawaii hero decided that the slow but steady growth of his mediocre channel was too much work for not much money, he decided to jump onto the kids' content bandwagon. His first video, It's Mathematically Unlikely You Will Watch This is by itself a red flag to what looks like a "youtube speedrunner," or, as the grown-ups call it, trendhopping grift channel looking for a quick buck by being relatable to the hip-and-cool youth.

The next four videos are exactly the same kind of retardation meant to attract dumb children who believe that getting their opinions from the internets and flashing random facts they learn from 5-minute low effort videos made by "did you know" type channels makes them smart somehow.

For the first two of these instant classics he decided to be very original and parody the trend of describing video titles with brackets or stars, ignoring the fact that with so many retards parodying retards the parody movement itself became larger than the original joke, which means that he just joined a giant, self-cannibalising counterjerk.

For the other two he decided to cater to his desired audience, and there is nothing that aspergic, socially awkward 13 year olds love more than drama coming from the minecraft youtube sphere. Thus the two videos "How 126,000,000 Minecraft Accounts Got Hacked" and "Did Dream Cheat His Speedrun on Purpose?" were born - both of which being leafy-like gameplay voiceovers combined with a jump cut and a white-on-black text frame in between.

All of these videos wouldn't be complete with retardedly clickbaity thumbnails of course, since there is nothing that kids like more than flashy, attention grabbing images. In fact, it is scientifically proven that humans below 18 years of age can't resist clicking on images of this type, and those who can usually suffer from various antisocial behaviors.

The pisscord saga

With a large community of young, impressionable fans at his disposal, Beluga set out to pull off the biggest grift of his life, which was making videos centered around discord. These videos, as retarded and primitive as they were, managed to sound relatable enough to the army of spergs this man had accumulated, and in turn proved to be a massive success. People soon caught onto this new trend and wanting to leech off of it, many statistics and news youtubers made videos talking about how Beluga "broke the algorithm" (note this skript kiddie speak, this type of technobabble is common to pseudo-intellectual [noticing a pattern?] "news" channels).

With an army of retards and word quickly spreading due to the amount of fellow grifters willing to give him publicity in order to leech off of his popularity later, this whiny hugbox of a "community" hurtled toward the trending section of youtube at light speed. Soon the front page became flooded with such masterpieces as "Discord server owners be like" and "Discord Ban Speedrun (97.1% effective)." Surely this would be a one-hit wonder type of situation, no? Surely this man would not succeed with his other videos, and this would turn out to be a lucky moment enabled partially by the barely functioning magic box of a pytorch project that drives recommendations on youtube.

No. In fact, this man's channel, based on only the same two jokes about a barely decent platform that's gimped by both being webshit running in electron and having furries developing it somehow became the fastest growing meme channel on youtube, and that's just by making jokes that have the same punchline over and over again.

How to make a beluga video

1. Take all the jokes you have (anime egirl makes discord users horny/country stereotypes/discord hackers can hack anything/discord moderator bad, fat and a pedophile [this is true but not funny anymore]/relatable joke about phone)
2. Put them into a numbered list
3. https://www.google.com/search?q=rng