PlayStation 5

PlayStation 5 is an overpriced wifi router you will never be able to buy as some rich dude who manages to be scalper has like a billion bots that have bought every single PlayStation 5 at your local store. Even if you did manage to buy one it's likely the delivery man will just steal it all for himself. You will be stuck with your lame PlayStation 4 for the rest of eternity.

History

The console was first mentioned publicly in May, 2019. None of this matters though as we knew nothing about the console. Sony skipped E3 thinking they're to good to fail on stage. Sony didn't told us jack shit about the console, leading to many rumors and leaks. One was the ugly prototype of the console. Eventually Sony had a presentation showing off the graphics of the console. Then a showcase showing a shit-load of games and console was officially revealed to look like a wifi router.

Features

• The games are now in 4K for extra shinny new graphix.

• It can run 120fps so people play games at super high speeds.

• It supports 8K which basically means, upscale the games to look like 8K.

• You can play PlayStation 4 games, but not PlayStation 3, or PlayStation 2 or PlayStation games as "who want's to play old games".

Duel Sense

For the first time in history Sony finally changed up their controller. Now there controller looks like fucking everyone else's, as who want's to be unique.

This controller new feature is "Duel Sense" which is a ripoff of Nintendo Switch "HD Rumble", which will probably barely be used just like the PS4's touchpad.

Games

Gran Turismo 7: Drive a car around in an enclosed circle. AGAIN.

Spider-Man 2 LOL DISREGARD THAT SPIDER-MAN HASN'T BEEN GOOD IN YEARS!

Buying a PS5

Buying a PS5 is an artificially difficult MMO RPG were you play the role of a desperate customer wanting to get your hands on piece of plastic crap. To play you put an order on the PS5, which you have a 1% of winning. It is basically a cleverly disguised lootbox by the jews at Sony to increase the value of the PS5 from jew-gold.

You should buy a PS5 as fast as you can as someone who is better than gets it before you. The game is known to overrun by scalpers who exploit the game buy ordering a bunch of bots buy the game to increase jew-gold. It is the most effective strategy at winning the game as the game is broken for profits of mostly of scalpers.

Sony said they where going through a stock storage of PS5. However it is obvious that the goal was the most money out Sony-ponies that will suck their dick for ever. The amount of PS5 being produced hasn't went up and scalpers are steal buying PS5 while the average person is seething.

How to buy a PlayStation 5

Note you aren't actually getting your PlayStation 5, but you can try to attempt this.

1. Look online on Amazon for a PlayStation 5 or Rob your local Gamestop (Results may vary)

2. Try to click on it as fast as you can

3. If the last two steps didn't work then repeat them until it works.

4. Wait for it too come

5. HAHA you actually thought your getting your precious PlayStation 5 you dumb fuck? Your a fucking idiot you have no chance of ever getting one in your pathetic life.

PlayStation 5 restocks

Every week there's a restock so people can actually buy a PlayStation 5. however, this has made things worse. Scalpers can use bots to buy all PlayStation 5 at a store, this means they can get all of it before people have a chance at getting one. The scalpers then post all PlayStation 5 on eBay for ridiculous ass prices. This leads to the prices going up, and you know what Sony keeps on doing? Making more of them. The problem keeps getting worse and worse and will stay down that path for who knows how long.

Despite fucking over everyone else. The scalpers get super butthurt over how their as. Their also losing jew gold from buying the PlayStation 5 as they bought everything at the store with bots, which isn't enough to save their bank accounts as no one is buying PlayStation 5 from these sad fucks.

Price increase

After 2 years of not being able to buy a PS5. Sony has decided to finally do something it, buy giving a massive fuck you to it's pathetic Sony ponies drooling in their dry Sony water. Sony wasn't making enough profits due to the global economic environment going to absolute shit. Sony decided it's best to join in the jews (as Sony doesn't give a shit about you and only wants to see you go to poverty after stealing all the jew-gold they have in you]]) by increasing the price of the PS5, everywhere except the US where they bank the most piggies. The president Jim Ryan gave some PR bullshit to keep ponies sucking their dick.

	“	The global economic environment is a challenge that many of you around the world are no doubt experiencing. We’re seeing high global inflation rates, as well as adverse currency trends, impacting consumers and creating pressure on many industries. Based on these challenging economic conditions, SIE has made the difficult decision to increase the recommended retail price (RRP) of PlayStation 5 in select markets across Europe, Middle East, and Africa (EMEA), Asia-Pacific (APAC), Latin America (LATAM), as well as Canada. There will be no price increase in the United States. While this price increase is a necessity given the current global economic environment and its impact on SIE’s business, our top priority continues to be improving the PS5 supply situation so that as many players as possible can experience everything that PS5 offers and what’s still to come. Thank you for your continued support.	„
	—Jew Ryan

People were pissed and immediately started boycotting Sony to little affect. The japs who don't even give a shit about PC gaming petitioned to release Final Fantasy XVI on PC immediately, since Sony has hostage on Final Fantasy and keeping it in slaved on their platform for a year. Microsoft and Nintendo saw it as opportunity to kick Sony in ass, by keeping their systems at the same price.

See Also

• Xbox Series X

• PlayStation 4

• PlayStation 3

• PSP

• PlayStation 2

• PlayStation

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