Fembusters

Who yah gonna call??

Fembusters (also known as Ghostbusters (2016)) is a remake of the 1984 classic, Ghostbusters, only with a shittier plot and 400% more FEMINISM!!!. The fact that it's an unnecessary remake is bad enough, but all they did was take the original Ghostbusters movie, turned the male characters into female characters, and called it a day. Seriously, that's all they did. Now if you think this is a stupid idea, well FUCK YOU: you're actually sexist, a misogynist, and you hate all women. Report yourself to the nearest feminist so she can enjoy your delicious male tears.

Dying intensifies

How we got here

Look at all that nostalgia! Such a winning formula for making millions of dollars!

Ghostbusters 3

For years after the release of Ghostbusters 2, the original Ghostbusters cast and crew were kicking around the idea of doing a third Ghostbusters film. It was stalled for years because of shitty writing, as well as Bill Murray raking in mad amounts of hipster money by working on Wes Anderson movies, and thus he didn't want to mess that shit up. Eventually, efforts to make Ghostbusters 3 finally reached a point where there was a script that everyone enjoyed, and things were ready to move forward. However studio heads freaked out when Harold Ramis' movie Year One turned out to be a bomb and thus didn't trust him to work on the sequel. Then Harold Ramis had to die, and that was basically the end of that.

Before Ramis died, however, the original Ghostbusters cast did get to work on a new Ghostbusters video game, which was actually pretty good. Fans thus treated it as Ghostbusters 3, meaning Sony Pictures (current owners of the Ghostbusters franchise) felt like they washed their hands in trying to make fans happy, and they therefore felt free to do whatever the fuck they wanted to with the next film.

Reboot time

Sony Pictures has never been interested in making a GOOD movie, just a movie that makes lost of money. And apparently someone within Sony Pictures thinks that "good movie" and "money making moving" are mutually exclusive. Worse: now while any idiot knows that nostalgia sells big time, Sony Pictures thought that all they had to do to get some of that sweet nostalgia money was take someone who made a movie that made a ton of cash, insert some 80's nostalgia into the film, and it should TOTALLY make billions of dollars. RADICAL! And that's exactly what happened with this Ghostbusters film.

In 2011, Paul Feig made a movie called Bridesmaids, starring Kristen Wiig and Melissa McCarthy, which apparently did fairly well in the box office. Since Bridesmaids also involved ghosts, demons, and the supernatural, AND it had a very strong 1980's retro theme to it, Paul Feig was clearly a perfect fit to write and direct the new Ghostbusters. Upon getting the job, Paul Feig used his high quality writing abilities to take the original 1984 Ghostbusters script, erase "written by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis", and wrote in "written by Paul Feig". Oh, and he also took the main characters and replaced them with female versions of them. Take a look for yourself:

See? It's LITERALLY Female-Winston, Female-Ray, Female-Peter, and Female-Egon.

But hey, don't dare bring this up to Paul Feig himself, or he'll get angry on Twitter.

Once news got out about this, everyone started to complain about how having four female Ghostbusters ruins their childhood or whatever. But c'mon people, it's the current year! Hating on a movie just because it has women in it is SOOO Two-thousand-and-LATE! In fact, this is what you get for being so attached to a franchise who's entire objective is to bleed money from you.

In any case, the movie can't be as bad as you're making it sound. You're just over-reacting. It's STILL the Ghostbusters! And men or women, busting ghosts is ageless. Right?

Hospital visit

OK so, in August 2015, in order to promote the movie or something, the Fembusters visited the Tufts Medical Center in Boston, in complete costume. There were tons of photo-ops, including the one at the top of the page. Actully, let's take a look at that picture again:

OK I get that a children's hospital isn't always going to be happy sunshines and smiles, but they could've AT LEAST gotten a better picture that this. Anyways, it happened, and 4chan went on a field day with memes and shit.

Hospital Visit About missing Pics

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  Story about the visit
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  Drifting into the abyss...
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  HONK HONK!
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Where are we now

There are three things wrong with this statement

Movie trailer release

On March 3, 2016, the first official movie trailer for Fembusters was released. And guess what? It's total shit.

On the other hand, THIS math is perfectly correct.

Sony Pictures was SO hot on reusing older material for their movies, they even reused the trailer for Pixels:

Look at all these male tears!

Anyways, after the trailer was released, things happened the way you pretty much expected them to: the video was given more Downvotes than Upvotes (it's around 7 Downvotes to 3 Upvotes at this point), people continue to shit on the movie and the trailer, Sony Pictures begin to delete comments, and people within Sony are getting fired.

Or, ok, maybe not "fired", but, y'know... Sony Pictures Consumer Marketing Chief George Leon has "left his post".

Spoilers

Erin Gilbert (Kristen Wiig), a physics teacher at Empire State University, has her opportunity to receive tenure jeopardized when her old friend, amateur paranormal researcher Abby Yates (Melissa McCarthy), publishes a book they wrote together several years young, positing the existence of ghosts. Erin visits Abby and her new partner, nuclear researcher Jillian Holtzman (Kate McKinnon), to ask Abby to remove her name from the book, and is persuaded by Abby and Jillian to accompany them to the Aldridge Hotel to investigate claims of paranormal activity. Arriving there, the trio encounters the ghost of Madame Aldridge, the hotel's late owner, who vomits ectoplasm on Erin. Abby records the encounter, including a terrified Erin claiming that ghosts are real, and uploads it to YouTube and reddit, leading to Erin being fired. Abby then persuades Erin to join her and Jillian in opening a ghost-chasing business they call "Ghostbusters".

Meanwhile, subway worker Patty Tolan (Leslie Jones) runs into Rowan (Neil Casey), an introverted engineer who has created a machine that amplifies paranormal activity, intending to open a breach between the world of the living and the world of the dead and release an army of ghosts to destroy the human race. After an encounter with a ghost that Rowan releases on the subway system, Patty seeks the Ghostbusters and volunteers to become a member and lend her street-smarts to the team. They also hire a dim-witted receptionist, Kevin (Chris Hemsworth), and set up a base of operations in a Chinese restaurant and two vehicles, Ecto-1, a hearse lent to them by Patty's uncle; and Ecto-2, an old motorcycle.

Despite the government's attempts to discredit them, the Ghostbusters become increasingly popular as they capture more ghosts unleashed by Rowan, and ultimately confront Rowan himself, who chooses to commit suicide rather than let himself be captured. With his death, paranormal activity in NYC subsides, adding credence to the government's claims about the Ghostbusters. Going through Rowan's belongings, Erin and Abby learn Rowan attended the same school as them and his obsession with ghosts was born out of their own fascination with the subject.

THIS is the end ghost? REAL creative, Feig.

Rowan returns as a ghost and swears revenge on the Ghostbusters, possessing Abby and attempting to kill Jillian. After Patty beats him out of Abby's body, Rowan possesses Kevin, steals the Ecto-2 and heads to Times Square, where he activates a second machine he had secretly built, opening a portal between the two worlds and raising an army of ghosts that begin wreaking havoc in New York City, while also powering up Rowan's ectoplasmic form. To display his dominance over them, Kevin/Rowan leads the ghosts in a performance of "You Should Be Dancing" by the Bee Gees.

The Ghostbusters intervene despite the government's attempts to stop them, venturing into the evacuated area in the Ecto-1, and Erin manages to exorcise Rowan out of Kevin's body. Rowan demands that the Ghostbusters choose a form for him, and Patty absent-mindely thinks of a spraypainted ghost she saw on the subway line. Rowan becomes a towering version of the graffiti ghost and begins rampaging.

The Ghostbusters fail to defeat him by crossing their streams, and instead Erin and Abby venture into the portal, with ropes tied around their waists, and trick Rowan into directing his forces into the portal. Jillian and Patty then close it, but manage to pull Erin and Abby out, while Rowan and his army become trapped in the world of the dead and Rowan's machine is destroyed.

The government once again discredits the Ghostbusters and they don't receive any recognition for saving the city, but manage to use their savings to buy a new base of operations in an old firehouse. Erin and Kevin develop a relationship, and while analyzing tape recordings during the battle against Rowan, during which paranormal activity was at its peak, Patty finds several cryptic warning about the arrival of Zuul.

Cameos

Bill Murray at a skeptic who questions the Ghostbusters on the news, and is killed by one of Rowan's ghosts.

Dan Aykroyd as a taxi driver who refuses to obey the evacuation order during Rowan's attack, claiming "I ain't afraid of no ghosts!"

Ernie Hudson as Patty's uncle who lends the Ghostbusters the Ecto-1.

Annie Potts as a receptionist at the hotel Rowan works.

Misc junk

Ghostbusters or else About missing Pics

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  An actual female Ghostbuster
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  Still can't stop copying other ideas, can you, Feig?
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  OH MY GOD It's the Scoleri Sisters!
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  She sure showed us!

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  Even SJWs think Fembusters is bullshit
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  A very adult review of the criticism levied against the trailer
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  Twitter #hashtags about the trailer

Ghostbusters Reboot: Production Trouble Rumors (Part 1)

Ghostbusters reboot: Story Leak and Damage Limitation (Part 2)

Probably a better Ghostbusters movie than Fembusters

spawn camping

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Less shitty recut of the trailer, in the same way urine technically is "less shitty" than shit itself

Simpsons predicted the Fembusters' hospital visit by 20 years

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