Fembusters

Who yah gonna call??

Fembusters (also known as Ghostbusters (2016)) - original title: flapjack is a sequel to White Chicks and Bridesmaids directed by Paul Feig, disguised as a reboot of the 1984 classic, Ghostbusters, only with a shittier plot, unlikable characters, laughable CGI and 400% more FEMINISM!!!. Where the original Ghostbusters was somewhat tongue in cheek, and had subtle references to other horror films, the dyke version is now going into Disaster Movie territory by ripping off complete scenes, without even adding anything. It is funny because you have seen it before. Memes. Now if you think all this is a stupid idea, well FUCK YOU: you're actually sexist, a misogynist, and you hate all women. Report yourself to the nearest feminist so she can enjoy your delicious male tears.

Dying intensifies

This movie in a nutshell

How we got here

Look at all that nostalgia! Such a winning formula for making millions of dollars!

Ghostbusters 3

For years after the release of Ghostbusters 2, the original Ghostbusters cast and crew were kicking around the idea of doing a third Ghostbusters film. It was stalled for years because of shitty writing, as well as Bill Murray raking in mad amounts of hipster money by working on Wes Anderson movies, and thus he didn't want to mess that shit up. Eventually, efforts to make Ghostbusters 3 finally reached a point where there was a script that everyone enjoyed, and things were ready to move forward. However studio heads freaked out when Harold Ramis' movie Year One turned out to be a bomb and thus didn't trust him to work on the sequel. Then Harold Ramis had to die, and that was basically the end of that.

Before Ramis died, however, the original Ghostbusters cast did get to work on a new Ghostbusters video game, which was actually pretty good. Fans thus treated it as Ghostbusters 3, meaning Sony Pictures (current owners of the Ghostbusters franchise) felt like they washed their hands in trying to make fans happy, and they therefore felt free to do whatever the fuck they wanted to with the next film.

Reboot time

Sony Pictures has never been interested in making a GOOD movie, just a movie that makes lost of money. And apparently someone within Sony Pictures thinks that "good movie" and "money making movie" are mutually exclusive. Worse: now while any idiot knows that nostalgia sells big time, Sony Pictures thought that all they had to do to get some of that sweet nostalgia money was take someone who made a movie that made a ton of cash, insert some 80's nostalgia into the film, and it should TOTALLY make billions of dollars. RADICAL! And that's exactly what happened with this Ghostbusters film.

In 2011, Paul Feig made a movie called Bridesmaids, starring Kristen Wiig and Melissa McCarthy, which apparently did fairly well in the box office. Since Bridesmaids also involved ghosts, demons, and the supernatural, AND it had a very strong 1980's retro theme to it, Paul Feig was clearly a perfect fit to write and direct the new Ghostbusters. Upon getting the job, Paul Feig used his high quality writing abilities to take the original 1984 Ghostbusters script, erase "written by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis", and wrote in "written by Paul Feig". Oh, and he also took the main characters and replaced them with female versions of them. Take a look for yourself:

See? It's LITERALLY Female-Winston, Female-Ray, Female-Peter, and Female-Egon.

But hey, don't dare bring this up to Paul Feig himself, or he'll get angry on Twitter.

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	—Paul Feig

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	—Paul Feig

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	—Paul Feig

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	—Paul Feig

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Once news got out about this, everyone started to complain about how having four female Ghostbusters ruins their childhood or whatever. But c'mon people, it's the current year! Hating on a movie just because it has women in it is SOOO Two-thousand-and-LATE! In fact, this is what you get for being so attached to a franchise who's entire objective is to bleed money from you.

In any case, the movie can't be as bad as you're making it sound. You're just over-reacting. It's STILL the Ghostbusters! And men or women, busting ghosts is ageless. Right?

Hospital visit

In August 2015, in order to promote the movie or something, the Fembusters visited the pediatric cancer ward at Tufts Medical Center in Boston, in complete costume. Appropriate, given that the movie is the embodiment of cancer. There were tons of photo-ops, including the one at the top of this page, which was deleted from Facebook for some reason. Actually, let's take a look at that picture again:

Dying hurts!

This attempt to capitalize on the misery of sickened children couldn't have been better represented by any image than the one above. Anyways, it happened, and 4chan went on a field day with memes and shit, as old media tried to spin it as misogyny instead of incompetence, and Tufts scrambled to remove the image from their social media accounts in order to mitigate any HIPAA violations (and to cover the tracks of whatever hospital administrator allowed this possibly criminal invasion of a public hospital).

I wanted to see the Ghostbusters, not cheap cosplay About missing Pics

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  Story about the visit
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  Drifting into the abyss...
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  HONK HONK!
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Where are we now

There are three things wrong with this statement

Movie trailer release

On March 3, 2016, the first official movie trailer for Fembusters was released. And guess what? It's total shit. Here, check it out for yourself.

On the other hand, THIS math is perfectly correct.

Also be sure to play the "Fembusters Drinking Game" while watching the trailer: take one shot whenever...:

• there's a "subtle" vagina joke
• a neon ghost appears on screen
• there's a call back to the original Ghostbusters
• there's a blatant rip off of the original Ghostbusters
• Patty acts like a stereotypical sassy black woman
• a lesbian actress licks a phallic object
• there is a clear indication that all of the actresses phoned in their performance
• you finally realize that Death's icy embrace is ultimately preferable to watching this movie

Sony Pictures was SO hot on reusing older material for their movies, they even reused the trailer for Pixels:

GIRL POWER means that, no, there totally isn't a boom mic in those glasses, and pointing that out means you're sexist.

Anyways, after the trailer was released, things happened the way you pretty much expected them to: the video was given more Downvotes than Upvotes (it's around 7 Downvotes to 3 Upvotes at this point), people continue to shit on the movie and the trailer, Sony Pictures begin to delete comments, and people within Sony are getting fired for failing to produce a viable product.

Just watch that ratio spread farther and father apart...

Or, ok, maybe not "fired", but, y'know... Sony Pictures Consumer Marketing Chief George Leon has "exited his post".

Anyways, despite the fact that it's pretty damn clear that nobody liked the trailer (and therefore, the movie), Sony Pictures refuses to accept that they've made a shitty movie which pissed off loyal Ghostbusters fans. Furthermore, it seems as if Sony Pictures has hired a social media engineering company to try to shift public opinion of the film. For example, they tried to stem the tide of negative downvotes for the trailer by organizing an Upvote campaign, as depicted in the animation of the YouTube voting (see animation on the right): you'll see the ratio of Downvotes to Upvotes temporarily increase in favor of Upvotes, before the tide of Downvotes become too great to overcome. Clearly there was an attempt to try to stuff the ballots in the hopes that maybe other people would catch on and "organically" Upvote the video, but it obviously didn't work.

Meanwhile, Feminist and SJW bloggers didn't want to accept that "their side" actually made a shitty product, so they worked their mental gymnastics overtime to try to justify all the negative responses. And as you can imagine, the conclusion they reached was that male fans were being typical sexist, racist shitlords, or any other shallow excuse they pulled from out of their ass. Instead of, y'know, accepting the fact that gender equality means that all the negativity aimed at the movie has nothing to do with them being "women", but because women are equally capable of making a shitty movie in their own right. Nope, that's not something they can accept, because that would mean they could no longer play the victim card, and who in their right mind would willingly give THAT up?

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	—Stephanie Merry, Washington Post

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	—William Bibbiani, Crave Online

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	—Molly Fitzpatrick, Fusion

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	—Eve Vawter, CafeMom - The Stir

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	—Kelly Lawler, USA TODAY

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	—Andrew Shuster, Gossip Cop

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	—Jonathan Edward Weaver II, Moviepilot

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Wait, were half of these articles seriously written by white men?

Sony Pictures caught on to this, and they too are blaming the failures of Fembusters on Ghostbusters fans for being sexist. Now they're working with their social medial engineering partners to plant false flag comments on YouTube, depicting a male fans of Ghostbusters being blatantly sexist and racist, in order to give themselves an out when Fembusters is finally released and doesn't so anywhere as well as they expected it to. More details about what and why Sony's been doing what they've been doing can be read below.

Movie release

Fembusters is going to be released on July 15, 2016. We'll finally get to see how shitty it actually is then. Or you can see how shitty it is NOW by reading the (apparent) spoilers below.

So you've finally accepted that you're a sexist, misogynistic shitbag pissbaby dudebro man-child

Pack it up, men. This lesbian licking a phallic shaped weapon means we finally lost, once and for all.

As it has been mentioned, if you don't like this movie, you're sexist, you hate women, and all that wonderful stuff. Because as it turns out, Fembusters is finally a movie that has females in the lead roles, and all the negativity against the movie is because pissbaby dudebro man-children are finally feeling what it's like to have a movie NOT cater to male fans. Y'know, because there has NEVER EVER been a movie with female leads that men can still enjoy none the less.

Your comments are problematic

Actually, as it so happens, this is actually the narrative that Sony Pictures and Paul Feig & Co. are intentionally trying to cultivate. Sony clearly knows Fembusters is utter shit, so in order to gain sympathy from Feminists, tumblrinas, and other SJWs (y'know, the only people Sony Pictures and Friends have left who might spend money on their shitty movie), they're doing whatever they can to really drive the point home that the only people who hate it are racists and sexists and other bad people.

Therefore, Sony has undertaken a massive social media engineering campaign in order to maintain the narrative that the only people who speak negatively of the film are blatant sexists, racists, or other negative-ists... thus implying that anyone who has anything negative to say about the movie is a morally corrupt person. One way of maintaining this narrative is by carefully deleting a shitton of comments on YouTube, leaving only the truly terrible comments which Sony hopes "speaks for themselves". So, if you happen to be:

• a female who thinks this movie is shit (bonus points if you're homosexual or even TRANSEXUAL and you still think the movie is shit)
• a Liberal male who openly loves female leads but simply didn't like the trailer
• a non-white person who thinks that they didn't go far enough in being progressive
• basically anyone who isn't otherwise sucking Sony's dick by playing along with their charade (free PS4s for anyone who Upvotes the Trailer video and leaves a positive review!)

...then you're going against the narrative that Sony and Company is trying to maintain, and you can thus guarantee that your comments will be eventually deleted. Enjoy it while it lasts! In any case, you shouldn't be posting those kinds of comments to begin with... why would you WANT to side with the racist sexist shitlords??

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Anyways, by doing this, Sony Pictures and Friends have an out; no matter how poorly the movie does, everyone involved in the movie will simply blame its failure on the Patriarchy holding them back. Just sit back and watch it play out in this way.

You Lose with S-J-double-yoose

But it's not like there's a million different reason why this movie sucks. Naw, it's totally because of all the pissbaby shitlord trolls who are afraid of strong women characters, and not because:

• this movie is obviously nothing more than an unnecessary nostalgia cash grab
• the lack of originality in writing (almost literally the same movie as the 1984 original, down to the same main characters)
• for all the talk about how progressive this movie is, the main cast is still three white people saving the world AGAIN, along with their stereotypically sassy black friend
• the apparent hypocrisy of Feminists hating the "dumb female secretary" character type, only to love the "dumb male secretary" character type, as depicted by Chris Hemsworth in this film
• the very idea that Sony was going to sue Bill Murray if he didn't appear in a cameo

Yeah, none of those reasons plays a part in why people almost universally loathe this movie. Instead, it's TOTALLY because the Patriarchy hates women.

If you hate this movie, then that means you wish that ALL these women were beaten up and raped. Why would you want women to be raped, Shitlord?

Of course we all know that the stupid part in all this is that, it's a lost cause trying to appeal to Feminists, SJWs and their ilk to begin with. SJWs don't realize how much money influences thing, so "speaking with their wallet" (that is, showing their support through the spending of their own money) is an utterly foreign concept to these people. To make matters worse, these kind of people are never happy, always finding fault with every attempt to appeal to them. Like, you would think that a movie with 100% of the lead cast being women, the male supporting character is a dim-witted meathead, AND three other ways the Ghostbusters movie smashes the "Patriarchy", this would be something that EVERY feminist and their friends would love unconditionally, right? Nope.

See how racist this is? Even the original Ghostbusters movie had FOUR scientists!

You see? Patty---the ONLY non-white Ghostbuster---is depicted as nothing more than a stereotypical ghetto black woman, and not a scientist, and that's "problematic" to many people. And right there underlines the common thread in ANY attempt to appeal to Feminists, SJWs, and their ilk: even when 99% is exactly what they want, the 1% that is wrong is enough to encourage these people to criticize your efforts, maybe even boycott it outright. They will ALWAYS find something that they find "problematic" and not spend a single penny on that something as a way to signal their discontent.

So instead of making a movie that wins over actual long time fans, creates new fans, AND generates more interest (and further sales) of the original Ghostbusters movies and TV series, Sony Pictures, Paul Feig and Friends are left with a movie that hardly a single Ghostbuster fan NOR a triggered SJW will spend a red cent on. By trying to appeal to SJWs, you fail by default, and no one wins in the end.

Black science woman

Speaking of Patty, the only black AND not-scientist Ghostbuster, tons of people weren't happy with that decision. Of course in this battle, it's between White Feminists versus Non-White Feminists. And kinda like with Alien vs. Predator, there is no clear desirable winner. Anyways, let's just take a look at the issue from both sides, shall we?

On one hand, actress Leslie Jones calls out all the people who bitch about her non-scientist role in the movie, basically saying "it's just a movie; you should really just relax":

Leslie Jones tweets About missing Pics

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On the other hand, you have videos like this one, covering how really terrible it is for the movie to treat a non-white character as the living stereotype while all the white characters get to be the smart ones:

Not pictured: the black Ghostbuster

In any case, trying to choose a side here is a real tall order. On one hand, both are SJWs who are going to be unhappy with anything you do or say. On the other hand, both hate the other's shitty behavior to much that it's hard to disagree with them on the fact that the other side is full of terrible people.

The most ironic thing about Patty's character being a walking stereotype is actually with the way both the character of Winston Zeddemore and actor Ernie Hudson were treated in the original 1984 Ghostbusters. In the first draft of the script, there was a huge backstory written for Winston; he was with the Ghostbusters from the beginning, and was supposed to be the most competent member of the group. This was the role that actor Ernie Hudson auditioned for. However, later rewrites marginalized the character of Winston, changing him from an integral member of the group to just some 9-to-5 guy who wasn't interested in anything more than a paycheck. It got to the point where Ernie Hudson was given shittier pay and less attention from the studio, and where Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis fought hard to make sure it was treated equally with them (the "named actors"). In a sense, even though this was 1984, Ernie Hudson was still being treated worse than the other white actors, as if it was still the 1950's.

So now it's 2015, and here come a new, more progressive Ghostbusters. If you don't like our Female leads, then you can go fuck yourself; we're all about being on the right side of history here! This is finally a chance to right the wrongs from the original Ghostbusters... all the sexism, all the other problematic ideas, and especially the blatant racism that both Winston Zeddemore and Ernie Hudson faced... they're going OUT the window! We're going to use this movie to show how much Hollywood has grown since even the 80's in its treatment of marginalized people.

lol nope

If you can't stand how progressive we're being with this movie, then you can take your opinion and shove it up your ass. We have no room for your kind here!

Apparent Spoilers

Erin Gilbert (Kristen Wiig), a physics teacher at Empire State University, has her opportunity to receive tenure jeopardized when her old friend, amateur paranormal researcher Abby Yates (Melissa McCarthy), publishes a book they wrote together several years young, positing the existence of ghosts. Erin visits Abby and her new partner, nuclear researcher Jillian Holtzman (Kate McKinnon), to ask Abby to remove her name from the book, and is persuaded by Abby and Jillian to accompany them to the Aldridge Hotel to investigate claims of paranormal activity. Arriving there, the trio encounters the ghost of Madame Aldridge, the hotel's late owner, who vomits ectoplasm on Erin. Abby records the encounter, including a terrified Erin claiming that ghosts are real, and uploads it to YouTube and reddit, leading to Erin being fired. Abby then persuades Erin to join her and Jillian in opening a ghost-chasing business they call "Ghostbusters".

THIS is the end ghost? REAL creative, Feig.

AND real original too.

Meanwhile, subway worker Patty Tolan (Leslie Jones) runs into Rowan (Neil Casey), an introverted engineer who has created a machine that amplifies paranormal activity, intending to open a breach between the world of the living and the world of the dead and release an army of ghosts to destroy the human race. After an encounter with a ghost that Rowan releases on the subway system, Patty seeks the Ghostbusters and volunteers to become a member and lend her street-smarts to the team. They also hire a dim-witted receptionist, Kevin (Chris Hemsworth), and set up a base of operations in a Chinese restaurant and two vehicles, Ecto-1, a hearse lent to them by Patty's uncle; and Ecto-2, an old motorcycle.

Despite the government's attempts to discredit them, the Ghostbusters become increasingly popular as they capture more ghosts unleashed by Rowan, and ultimately confront Rowan himself, who chooses to commit suicide rather than let himself be captured. With his death, paranormal activity in NYC subsides, adding credence to the government's claims about the Ghostbusters. Going through Rowan's belongings, Erin and Abby learn Rowan attended the same school as them and his obsession with ghosts was born out of their own fascination with the subject.

Rowan returns as a ghost and swears revenge on the Ghostbusters, possessing Abby and attempting to kill Jillian. After Patty beats him out of Abby's body, Rowan possesses Kevin, steals the Ecto-2 and heads to Times Square, where he activates a second machine he had secretly built, opening a portal between the two worlds and raising an army of ghosts that begin wreaking havoc in New York City, while also powering up Rowan's ectoplasmic form. To display his dominance over them, Kevin/Rowan leads the ghosts in a performance of "You Should Be Dancing" by the Bee Gees.

The Ghostbusters intervene despite the government's attempts to stop them, venturing into the evacuated area in the Ecto-1, and Erin manages to exorcise Rowan out of Kevin's body. Rowan demands that the Ghostbusters choose a form for him, and Patty absent-mindely thinks of a spraypainted ghost she saw on the subway line. Rowan becomes a towering version of the graffiti ghost and begins rampaging.

The Ghostbusters fail to defeat him by crossing their streams, and instead Erin and Abby venture into the portal, with ropes tied around their waists, and trick Rowan into directing his forces into the portal. Jillian and Patty then close it, but manage to pull Erin and Abby out, while Rowan and his army become trapped in the world of the dead and Rowan's machine is destroyed.

The government once again discredits the Ghostbusters and they don't receive any recognition for saving the city, but manage to use their savings to buy a new base of operations in an old firehouse. Erin and Kevin develop a relationship, and while analyzing tape recordings during the battle against Rowan, during which paranormal activity was at its peak, Patty finds several cryptic warning about the arrival of Zuul.

Cameos

Bill Murray at a skeptic who questions the Ghostbusters on the news, and is killed by one of Rowan's ghosts.

Dan Aykroyd as a taxi driver who refuses to obey the evacuation order during Rowan's attack, claiming "I ain't afraid of no ghosts!"

Ernie Hudson as Patty's uncle who lends the Ghostbusters the Ecto-1.

Annie Potts as a receptionist at the hotel Rowan works.

Harold Ramis will appear as an actual ghost.

Rick Moranis actually was wise enough to back the fuck off this abortion, stating "But it just makes no sense to me. Why would I do just one day of shooting on something I did 30 years ago?"

Misc junk

Gallery

Ghostbusters or else About missing Pics

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  An actual female Ghostbuster
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  Still can't stop copying other ideas, can you, Feig?
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  OH MY GOD It's the Scoleri Sisters!
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  She sure showed us!

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  Even SJWs think Fembusters is bullshit
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  A very adult review of the criticism levied against the trailer
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  Twitter #hashtags about the trailer
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  Ghostbusters rule 63 proves fans always do it better than Hollywood
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  Where's the black Ghostbuster? Racist
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  Oh wait. There she is.
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  Thanks Jews

Better Female Ghostbusters

Diverse Female Cast About missing Pics

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Videos

Ghostbusters Reboot: Production Trouble Rumors (Part 1)

Ghostbusters reboot: Story Leak and Damage Limitation (Part 2)

Probably a better Ghostbusters movie than Fembusters

spawn camping

Red Letter Media subscribe to Facebook Twitter tumblr Twitbooktumbflerlkfacebooksdglkjhdfgkjh

Less shitty recut of the trailer, in the same way urine technically is "less shitty" than shit itself

Simpsons predicted the Fembusters' hospital visit by 20 years

Another trailer review

A better movie

A way better movie

Previous Video | Next Video

See also

• MST3K - Wait for their inevitable mockery of this failure
• The Big Bang Theory - Where they will get all their "jokes"
• Irate Gamer - His Ghost Hunters is more Ghostbusters than this

External Links

• Leaked Sony Email detailing stupid musical number

Fembusters is part of a series on Social Justice Visit the Social Justice Portal for complete coverage.

Fembusters is part of a series on Television Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article March 17 & 18, 2016
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