Harambe

These thugs were instrumental in the plot to execute Harambe.

Harambe was a muscular black teenager whose murder was orchestrated by Michelle Gregg in Cincinatti the day after his seventeenth birthday. After chasing her toddling three year old son off a cliff, Michelle began screeching to terrify the residents of the community below and praying to her war god.

Harambe deftly avoided being crushed by the suicide bomber and did his best to drag the child away from the harpy's wail. Frustrated that someone interfere with her parenting process, Michelle unified the womenz and threatened false rape accusations against all the male zoo staff unless they became her personal army and killed Harambe for usurping her role of mother.

Donald Trump supported the kill, showing his lack of care for true minorities like Harambe's family.

The toddler's father Deonne Dickerson was unavailable for comment, perhaps undergoing another year-long jail stint.