Sick Puppies

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In an already overly saturated market of faggoty punk rock bands trying to be as awesome as Radiohead. Sick Puppies skyrocketed to success by throwing away their moral compass, latching onto a tragedy, and being in general greedy attention whoring narcissistic faggots.

Caution : This band is gay.

The bass player also refuses to have sexual intercourse with me.

==Band Members==

• Shimon Moore - The lead singer whom is a vestibule for cliche lyrics coated with semen. He was banned from his band for ravishing any male in sight. Most of his songs brag about him having gay sex or doing gay things. Complete faggot devoid of a conscious. They banned their lead singer and zero fucks were given due to the band's focal point being it's bass player's gender.

• Chris Mileski- Google him and the other three members show up in the gay ads. That or he just looks so much like Mark Goodwin that noone gives a fuck. Being that he is the most irrelevant member of the band. He is the coolest member of sick puppies. Although being the coolest member of sick puppies is like being the least gay man on Broadway. Banned.

• Bryan_Scott - The newest edition to their group and also the new vocals/guitar. Seems like a dude destined to overshadowed by the vagina the bass player possesses.

• Mark Goodwin - Fantasizes about engulfing thirteen penises and placing his drumsticks up the ass of any young-ling in sight. Either is homosexual or remains in the band attempting to fuck the bass player. Potentially has closeted attractions to the base player or is gay. Most of his tweets address the base player more-so than the other members. He also looks like he is Mexican or Arabic.

The real band (why most people give these faggots attention)

• Emma Anzai- I want you to visualize all of the Sick Puppies fans as a singular entity devoid of any complex thought. "Miss" ( could be a transexual) Anzai is the inamorata for this representation of gelded males indulging in pseudo-fandom as well as rancid cunts incapable of appreciating the finesse of a proper guitarist. The ineptitude of her guitar-work is tantamount to watching a kangaroo swim in a pool of battery acid.She is half Japanese and half Jew (as shown by her gargantuan nasal cavity).

Being that she is a half Asian/half Jewish mongrel naturally she would try to fill her vacuous empty soul with food (it is a well known fact that Asians have galaxies where their digestive systems should be). Pretty much every photo from her twitter involves obsessing about food or her appearance. She bleaches her skin to act like she wants to be white as she shits all on white culture (feeding newborn white children to her local Rabbi).

Discography (be sure to not pay them for their music)

• Dog's Breakfast (1999)- Expanding upon their gay band name that originated from a cheesy fan comment according to wikipedia. Be sure to crank up the SubWOOFer ?
• Fly (2003)- Not very original.
• Headphone Injuries (2006) - Because they expect their masochistic fans to blast their eardrums to hell to feel something from their rubbish music.
• Sick Puppies EP (2006)- Brilliant album name.
• Live & Unplugged (2010) - Lets you know their shit music is the live version I guess (not creative but at-least it is straight forward in a niche market of live music).
• Polar Opposite (2011) - Absurdly gay.

Music Videos

• Nothing Really Matters (2000) - Absurd cacophony of sound accompanied by video of just them playing at a concert. Lyrically the song is basically the band's way of letting the world know that they are *pussy whipped by their bass player whom runs everything with an iron tampon.
• Every Day (2001) - Consists of them playing pretend and dress up. Real top notch faggotry at work here.
• Fly (2003) - Pretending to be school kids. Radiating faggotry and an ass shot of the singer (whom while fully clothed noone wants to see that gay shit).
• All The Same (Free Hugs Campaign) (2006)- Meant to inspire people. Ends up making people cringe and file restraining orders... Not hug.
• All The Same (Official Video) (2007) - Angst, ripped blue jeans, and rain.
• My World (2008) -
• Pitiful (2009) -
• You're Going Down (2009)- Video where the singer talks about the long coming ass kicking. The singer apparently fantasizes about beating someone up in front of many kids who are playing with squirt guns. Truly epic pedophile innuendo on their part although it may be entirely unintentional. Definitely their top video.
• Odd One (2010)-
• Maybe (2010)-
• Riptide (2011)- Do not ask for this song to be played by the new band. It reminds the bass player of the Tsunami that killed half of her family.

• There's No Going Back (2013)-

The song that inspired this article. Basically talks about shooting people at the age of 17.

• Die To Save You (2014)-

Gay response to the famous faggoty quote "those who seek death find life"... Epitomizes emo faggotry and is a song you would expect to come from My Chemical Romance.

References

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sick_Puppies

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