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| {{Spoiler|THE fucking thick lying thieving drunken scouse cunts are claiming that [http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/kelvin-mackenzie-the-sun-liverpool-ross-barkley-hillsborough-disaster-racist-a7684591.html anyone who hates scousers is a racist]}}
| | No more nasty pastes |
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| [[File:Kelvin mackenzie triumphant.jpg|thumb|right|300px|The current Lord Mayor of Liverpool]]
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| [[File:Typical scouser (daily mail, march 30, 2018).png|200px|thumb|A typical scouser]]
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| Scouse is another fucked up form of the English language used by [[Retards|retards]] in the North-West of [[England|England]], particularly in Liverpool, [[Truth|a tiny third-world country attached to (but not part of) Great Britain]]. The patron saint of the city was a dirty smelly [[Domestic violence|wife-beating]] [[Drugs|smackhead]] [[Hippy|layabout,]] who dwelled in a local cavern [[Last Thursday|100 years ago,]] and preached renouncing all earthy possessions but then got rich with the donations of his followers and moved into a luxurious penthouse with a Jap. He was rightfully shot dead in 1981 by a disgruntled former fan and now has an airport named after him, which is ironic because he got so high he never came down. To this very day, departures are delayed by the locals, who jack planes up on bricks and steal their tyres to burn for warmth because their "leccy" has been cut off due to non-payment of bills due to their having spent all their welfare cash on DRUCKS.
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| <br>
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| == Scousers ==
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| [[File:Scouse matinee idol ken dodd.jpg|thumb|250px|right|Voted Liverpool's sexiest granny, 2014]]
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| [[File:WayneRooney.jpg|right|thumb|200px|Toy-boy of the above]]
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| Not to be confused with [[Chavs|Chavs]], although [[Truth|a lot of Scousers may be considered as both]]. Scousers are yet another type of [[British|British]] [[Cum|scum]] who have been around for [[At least 100 years ago|at least 100 years]] and should be greeted with total [[Disregard that, I suck cocks|disregard]]. This is because they are [[Cock|cocky]], obnoxious and [[Unwarranted Self Importance|full of it.]] [[You|You]] may be wondering how this makes them any different from [[Chavs|Chavs]]. The [[42|answer]] to this question is that [[The Beatles|some Scousers are generally nice people and are capable of possessing even an ounce of talent.]] There are no black people on the Internet.
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| It is also well known that they will steal anything that isn't nailed down, even when their own were dying at the Hillsborough [[Death|"tragedy
| | We need more real stuff! |
| "]] in 1989 it is well known that other Scousers pickpocketed the bodies. When not stealing, Scousers are also addicted to grief and this massively fueled their addiction. They demand that justice be served by punishing the [[Police|Cops]] when justice would have been served if the other Liverpool fans who caused the crush got [[Bubba|life without parole]].
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| ==Scousettes==
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| The real reason the scousers whinge and moan about Hillsborough all the time is because killing off 96 of their species means that they will have to fuck a scouse lass to restore the population of true-descent liverpudlians. Here are some entirely representative samples of scouse scorchers.
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| <center>
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| {{frame|<gallery>
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| File:Fat scouse slag with tits like saddlebags.jpg
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| File:Scouse oompa-loompa slag goes out in public wearing curlers.jpg
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| File:Fat scouse slags.jpg
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| File:Scummy scouse scrubber strikes an alluring pose.jpg
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| </gallery>|border=red}}
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| </center>
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| <br>
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| ==Scousespeak==
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| [[File:Scouse keyboard.jpg|thumb|right|English-to-scouse translator]]
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| [[File:Scousers flag declares they are not english.jpg|thumb|right|Are they even human?]]
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| [[File:Sound Story Lad.jpg|thumb|[[Cool story bro]] - Liverpool variation.]]
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| Scousers are [[Famous|well known]] for sounding like complete [[special|downers]] when they speak. This is called 'Scouse'. You should never reply to a Scouser with [[Grammar Nazi|grammatically correct sentences]], as it will probably not understand [[wtf|what the fuck]] you are talking about. Instead, you can respond by [[Violence|hitting them with a bat.]] Here are some examples of what you might hear a Scouse person say, and the [[Grammar Nazi|grammatically correct]] translations:
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| *'Ihe Lah?' - How are you?
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| *'Gizza' - [[Secks|Give it to me]], often said during a game of [[Football|Foohball]] in order to get a team-mate to [[gay|make a pass]].
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| *[[Doing it wrong|'Dey don'h do dah dere doh do dey doh?']] - No-one performs such an action in that location.
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| *'Bang yer lighs ouh' - Could either mean [[secks|I'm going to have some rough sex with you]] or [[violence|I'm going to kick the shit out of you]]. Can cause major [[lulz|confusion.]]
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| *[[Chicken|'Sheccken']] - Chicken (the k is often pronounced with a 'grr').
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| *[[McDonalds|'Maccie D's]] - McDonald's (again, the double c is pronounced with that 'grr' noise). Scousers often go to McDonald's because they are too [[White Trash|poor]] to afford [[food|actual food]].
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| *[[Britfag|'Chippy']] - Fish and Chip shop. Another [[Poor|cheap]] source of food.
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| *[[cool|'Sowwwnd']] - A general expression that something is [[Awesome|awesome.]]
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| *[[School|'Skewwl']] - A concentration camp for many Scouse [[13 year old boys|children.]] Generally, sending a Scouse child here is pointless because Scousers are fucking [[idiots|brainless]] due to all the fights they get into at football matches when they're older, so all that shit they learn will be knocked out of their heads anyway.
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| *[[Police|Bizzies]] - Police. Short for "Busybodies."
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| *Scally - Criminal. Short for "[[Pirate|Scallywag]]."
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| *'Scatty' - Unpleasant or unclean.
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| *'Kecks' - Pants, Trousers.
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| *'Mingin' - Also a word to describe something that is Unpleasant or Unclean. Used more by female [[Scouse|Scousers]] . A slight variation of the word is 'Minger', which also used by girls, means an Ugly or Unpleasant Man.
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| '''It should be nohed dah many Scoucers cannoh pronounce their t's unless they are at the starh of a wiiirrrd or lead by an 's', and will instead use a rough 'h' sowwwwnd. Scousers will also ascend from a low pitch to a high pitch when saying wiiirrrds.'''
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| == Origins ==
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| [[File: Scouce.jpg|thumb|They are named after their vomit-like cuisine]]
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| [[Wikipedia|Apparently,]] Scousers contain roots mainly from [[Irish|Ireland]], which may explain why they are so [[Chavs|disorderly and antisocial.]] The name, on the other hand, comes from a type of lamb or beef stew called 'Scouse', which was imported from [[Norway|Norway]] by [[Semen|seamen.]] Because Liverpudlians loved this food and [[Fat|ate it all the time]], they were nicknamed 'Scousers'. This probably explains why black person as the only meat niggers like is [[KFC|chicken.]]
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| == [[English Scum#Manchester/Mancunians|Mancs]] ==
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| It is arguable as to whether [[fags|fags]] from Manchester are also Scouse because their accents are fairly similar. However, since most Scousers [[hate|hate]] Mancs for supporting Manchester United, they will disagree. This causes a lot of [[butthurt|butthurt]] for [[Monkey|Wayne Rooney]], who is a Scouser that plays for the Mancs.
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| == A typical display of Scouse faggots singing their National Anthem ==
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| [[File: Liverpool 08 Logo.jpg|thumb|[[Lie|Liverpool was considered to be the European Capital of Culture in 2008.]] This is wrong for two reasons:
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| 1) It is a country.
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| 2) It is a shithole.]]
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| <center>{{frame|<center><youtube>Y7xvegPH_Lw</youtube></center>
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| <br>}}</center>
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| Despite popular belief, most Scousers [[Virgin|will always walk alone.]]
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| == What Scousers sound like lahhh ==
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| <center><big>'''[[Lulz|Oh the lulz!]]'''</big></center><br>
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| <center>{{fv|starvids|background-color: red;|font-weight: bold;|<youtube>sBYlXfjKru4</youtube>|<youtube>ZX2qn6nrQZs</youtube>|<youtube>blDHVpzP1Lo</youtube>|<youtube>Ucv7ZdqJnqo</youtube>|<youtube>TuVN3HLKRd0</youtube>}}</center>
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| ==Notable Scousers==
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| [[File:Fat drunken scouse bastard.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Typical scouse stud]]
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| *All of [[The Beatles]]
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| *[[Madeleine McCann|Kate McCann]]
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| *[[Dead babies|James Bulger]]
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| *[[Star Wars|Darth Maul]]
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| *[[Headshot|Rhys Jones]]
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| *[[Rick Astley]]
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| *[[The Young Ones|Alexei Sayle]]
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| == See Also ==
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| *[[Chavs|Chavs]]
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| *[[Britain|Britain]]
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| *[[White|White]]
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| *[[Purple Aki]]
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| *[[Moonspeak|Moonspeak]]
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| == External Links ==
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| *[http://www.visitliverpool.com/ Liverpool's Tourist Site - full of lies]
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| *[http://www.liverpoolfc.tv/ Faggots in red shirts with too much money]
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| *[http://www.jokefile.co.uk/odds/liverpool.html/ Scouse lulz]
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| {{Britfags}}
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| [[Category:Subcultures]]
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