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50 Cents: Difference between revisions

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[[Image:50_cent_arresed.jpg|thumb|right|Typical Rapper]]
[[Image:50centaur.jpg|thumb|right|Atypical Rapper]]
{{quote|You guys are really hurting my feeling can you kill your self to make me feel better. Lol|50 via Twitter}}
'''50 cents''' (aka Curtis Jackson, aka 50¢, $0.50 or Fifty Pence) is a [[Pedophile|youth leader]] and [[obama|community organiser]] for the Republican Party. This inspiring young black person from [[New York City]] rose from [[ghetto|humble roots]], selling crack cocaine on street corners, getting discovered by wigger rapper [[Eminem]] to living the [[American Dream]] and becoming one of the nation's leading advocates for all things USA: from conspicuous consumption and being the poster boy for [[Capitalism]] to being one of the leading advocates for [[guns|2nd Amendment]] rights and spokesman for the [[NRA]].
 
He is best known for getting shot a lot, rapping about all the crimes he's ever committed without getting arrested for it, his hit video games about shooting people and [https://twitter.com/50cent/status/24489434991 being the only valid reason] to have a [[twitter]] account. Following Mr. ¢'s twitter feed is mandatory (or he will shoot you) and probably the only thing on the Internets that will make you [[LOL WUT]] and/or [[ROFL]] after all these years. This is what happens when a [[Chris Chan|manchild]] discovers the [[Internet|World Wide Web]] for the first time.
 
NB: if you're not fluent in [[Ebonics]], Fiddy's tweets have been translated into the [[ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER|Queen's English]] by the ''[[SFB|Oxford English Dictionary]]'' for clarity [http://twitter.com/English50cent @English50cent].
 
==Background==
Mr. Cents was born to a 15 year old crack whore in some [[New York]] Ghetto. Shortly after returning home with her newborn and dodging the usual incoming gunfire, 50 cents began selling crack because he gots to support da family. The average life expectancy for Queens inhabitants being what it is, his mother died at the ripe age of 27 after being date raped and gassed in her home like a Jew. 50 then had to step up the crack selling. After being arrested, he somehow managed to earn his GED in prison while also adopting his new [[fursona]] as a rapper.
 
Leaving his drug dealing ways behind, 50 began his "musical" career and began writing songs. His first single cleverly entitled "How to Rob" was a moderate success. In a fitting reaction, he was then shot nine times by Mike Tyson's evil henchman. Why Mr. Tyson wanted 50 cents dead is still unknown but it is widely speculated that he wanted all of 50's delicious ears.
 
{{quote|I was scared the whole time.... I was looking in the rear-view mirror like, 'Oh shit, somebody shot me in the face! It burns, burns, burns.|This just in: Getting shot in the face burns.}}
 
God's cruel sense of humor allowed him to survive the nine gunshots. 50 mistook God's joke as some sort of miracle and went on to fully recover. His street cred for getting shot attracted [[wigger]] rapper [[Eminem]] and his rapping career took off. He then bought shares in vitamin water because nothing shows how hard you are better than a shity tasting water supplement drink.
 
==Rap career==
[[Image:50cents_house_on_fire.jpg|thumb|right|Maybe you should pour vitamin water on it]]
Even though 50 had made several recordings, he obviously didn't have the talent to make it to the big leagues.
According to sources within the music industry, 50 cent met an up and cumming rapper named m&m at a rave/disco that was being thrown to celebrate m&m's coming out of the closet.
Because of 50's enormous endowment, he was directed immediately by m&m towards the notorious super producer  Dr. Dre. Dr. Dre had been taking it up the ass from the Jews and eazy-e at the same time for many years and he was obviously no stranger to the game.
The fact that 50's face had been riddled with gunshot ammo in his youth seriously affected his speech patterns. Not to be discouraged by a small technically (like being able to speak fluent English), Eminem told Dre he would do all the writing for his new disabled friend, since he would like to see what his words sounded like coming from the black man he always wished he was.
Dr. Dre then bought 50 Cent for approximately 1 million pieces of Jew gold.  Shortly afterward, Eminem began to ghost write for him, and Dr. Dre slapped the tracks together using music he stole off of limewire. He got really famous and [[niggers|black people]] [[rape|love]] him, play his songs on the radio, etc. Nobody really gives a fuck about that [[50 Cent|nigger shit]] though.
 
==He thinks he is an actor how cute==
[[Image:50_cent_skinny_2.jpg|thumb|right|Losing to Conway West]]
Photos emerged in early 2010 showing 50 cent in a very thin state. People began speculating. Is it Cancer? Is it [[AIDS]]? [[Crack]]? Unfortunately none of is true(except possibly the AIDS and crack). 50 was sitting in his gold plated chair one day and his success finally got to his head. 50 cents is now an actor! His skinniness was preparation for a future roll he would be playing as a cancer patient. Don't fret though, he can still get cancer later.
 
==Twitter shit==
{{quote|I'm not crazy I'm special.|50 cent}}
In August 2010, 50 cent's twitter account exploded with some absolutely [[batshit insane]] tweets.
 
It all started when 50's management handed over the keys to his [http://twitter.com/50CENT twitter account], which proved to be like handing the keys to an alcoholic [[autist]] with Tourette's. He starts out complaining about taking out the trash.
 
[[Image:50centtwitterlol.jpg|center]]
<br />
[[Image:50cent_tweet_of_the_year.png|center|frame|What a sweetheart.]]
The previous picture depicts a particularly [[lulzy|offensive]] tweet he made joking about [[WIN|shooting up a gay wedding]]. This came after [[Perez Hilton]] called him a douchebag. Fiddy got butthurt and responded with one of the greatest tweets in the history of [[twitter]]. Anti-gay-defamation organizations are now calling for an apology. 50 cents <s>has yet to respond</s> does not give a flying fuck. He has way too many more people to offend.
 
<br />
<center>{{morphquote|50cent|background-color: lightgray;|font-weight: bold;
|I can't belive my grand mothers making me take Out the garbage I'm rich fuck this I'm going home I don't need this shit|50 cent, Twitter
|I took out the garbage [[U MAD|She mad]] cause I havent been over there a lot I been working my grand father was laughingAnd shit fuck that|
|This fucked up man I'm on gawker.comThey sayin I'm a bad grandson I love my grand mom to deathShe was just bossing me around|50 responding to [[Gawker]]'s post.
|I really don't like when people call me crazy I'm not crazy I'm special and I don't wish bad on anyone. Learn to love me
|Man when I figure out how to use the spell Check on this motherfucker you niggas in trouble
|I calm down I aint mad no more But This shit is crazy I was about to go out side and smack the frist nigga I see on twitter (wop)
}}</centeR>
<br />
50 Also unleashed his rage at Twitpic when his account was suspended after a spree of strange images.
<gallery perrow=6>
Image:50centsaddam.jpg|50 as [[Saddam]]
Image:50centoldman.jpg|As an old person?
Image:50centhitler.jpg|50 as [[Hitler|our glorious leader]]
Image:50centhannibal.jpg|
Image:50centbinladen.jpg
Image:Assburger.jpg|The picture that set off alarms at twitter.
</gallery>
 
{{quote|Twitpic just suspended my account damn They got 30mns to get it back or ima go haywire}}
 
Nobody at team 50 cent seems to have noticed that people are laughing at him and he is still tweeting his insane drivel.
 
==Medias==
<center>{{fv|50cents||font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>Dwimc4cvUmQ</youtube><br><center>Fitty [[Rapes|pays a visit]] to [[Fugly|Keenan Cahill's]] bedroom for some lip-syncing</center>
|<youtube>N8MXij4D7Ls</youtube><br /> <center>[[Pruane2forever|OH GOD WAT]]</center>
|<youtube>c-c22vxPI10</youtube><br />50 Gets arrested. A rite of passage in the rap community.
|<youtube>Djb6r5SxCD0</youtube><br />Another rite of passage.
}}</center>
 
==See Also==
[[Image:Shoot_50_cent.jpg|thumb|right]]
*[[Rap]]
*[[Soulja Boy]]
*[[The Game]]
{{trolls}}
{{music}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:IRL Shit]]
[[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]

Revision as of 02:12, 20 April 2011

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