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Humanitarian: Difference between revisions
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'''Humanitarians''' are people with a shitload of cash who give like .001% of it to the [[Poor|Needy]], waste the rest on pampering themselves, and then tout themselves as the next [[Martin Luther King Jr.]], making lil' ol' you feel like a greedy, selfish cunt. Unsuprisingly, this phenomena is most commonly found in celebrities. | '''Humanitarians''' are people with a shitload of cash who give like .001% of it to the [[Poor|Needy]], waste the rest on pampering themselves, and then tout themselves as the next [[Martin Luther King Jr.]], making lil' ol' you feel like a greedy, selfish cunt. Unsuprisingly, this phenomena is most commonly found in celebrities. | ||
[[Image:TheyHaitian.jpg|thumb|Your average humanitarian effort.]] | [[Image:TheyHaitian.jpg|thumb|Your average humanitarian effort.]] | ||
[[File:Adolfhitlerportrait.jpg.jpg|The Quintessential Altruist]] | |||
==Origins== | ==Origins== |
Revision as of 03:46, 31 December 2012
Humanitarians are people with a shitload of cash who give like .001% of it to the Needy, waste the rest on pampering themselves, and then tout themselves as the next Martin Luther King Jr., making lil' ol' you feel like a greedy, selfish cunt. Unsuprisingly, this phenomena is most commonly found in celebrities.
Origins
Once upon a time, a bunch of Liberals got toghether and decided that hard, selfless work they were doing should be rewarded with a SUPER-KUL SEKRIT TITLE. And, being liberals, they pulled out the word "human" again (to suggest
that people were their number one priority, while sipping champagne in a private jet to their new summer island estate).
And then EVERYONE who did ANYTHING remotely kind to another human being started verbally fapping with the title.
What Are the Signs of a Humanitarian?
- They spam the air waves with use of that word. A lot.
- They have more money than they could EVER use.
- They have adopted more than one foreign baby.
- They think they're SO much better than you, just because they're loaded enough to toss around $1million to some starving niggers.
- They wear tons of snarky buttons or meaningless lapel ribbons.
Where Are They?
Most humanitarians can be found either in Hollywood, a Democratic fudraiser, a super secure part of some shithole country where they do their photo shoots for some advocacy group, or on the television (where they hog the camera and try to cast themselves as a martyr).
What To Do if You Meet One
If the word "humanitarian" comes up, leave. Don't say anything, just go.