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| [[Image:Fontanini_Baby_Jesus.jpg|thumb|Lies make Baby Jesus cry]]
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| [[Image:Baby Jesus butt plug.jpg|thumb|Baby Jesus working for [[you]].]]
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| '''Baby Jesus''' was a member of an Jew shat out in [[Area 51|Bethlehem]], [[Georgia, USA]]. This event was most accurately depicted in the 1995 movie "Species". The most likely candidate for the [[father]] was [[Joe Jonas|Joseph]], a 31 year old [[lazy|unemployed]] [[neckbeard]] with [[my tiny dick|micropenis]]. Upon his denial that the [[Glenn Beck|child]] was his, [[teen mothers|Mary]] forced him to appear on [[Maury]] and take a DNA test to find out once and for all if the black person was his.
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| He never cries, save for when people [[fap|masturbate]]. To make Baby Jesus cry is [[Gg|almost as awesome as winning the internet]], but many people love doing it anyway. Christians love to make him cry, and then repent by [[money|buying]] him some [[prostatot]]s. This shows that [[Christian]]s are indeed [[pedo]]s, because it is documented in [[The Bible|Their "Holy Grail"]] that he grew from an infant to an [[adult]].
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| The [[lulz]] ensues when you and your [[Nigger|"colored" friends]] steal the Baby Jesus from peoples' [[Christmas]] decor and strap him to the hood of your car. However, this is becoming difficult with [http://www.engadget.com/2008/12/03/baby-jesus-and-co-get-free-gps-devices-this-holiday-season/ the advent of new technology].
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| == The Euphemism ==
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| 'Baby Jesus' is also frequently used as a way for poor, white trash [[Christian|fundies]] to tell their kids not to buttrape their neighbors in the trailer park. Shitting in one's nest is not something baby Jesus would do (contrary to adult Jesus; see: [[Jesus]]).
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| ==Big Baby Jesus==
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| The true Second Coming of Christ, he [[An_hero|performed a resurrection miracle]] just two days before his 36th Chamber.
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| [[Image:Bigbabyjesus.jpg]]
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| <youtube>nX3ZPcA4tjQ</youtube>
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| ==Not to be confused with...==
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| * [[Jesus|Adult Jesus]], who gave his life for mankind in order to stop the evil robots from destroying Zion, who in turn refuse to believe what he said.
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| * [[Your mom]]
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| ==[[O RLY|Baby Jesus Laughs When You...]]==
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| *Kill a rapist
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| *Tell a [[funny|Jew joke]] because he knows its funny to laugh at oneself
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| *[[lolwut|OFFER YOUR SINS TO HIM IN RECONCILIATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]]
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| *[[Guitar Hero|SHOUT AT THE DEVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]]
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| *[[unfunny|Holy stuff, etc.]]
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| *Become a rapist
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| [[Category:People]]
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| [[Category:Memes]]
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| [[Category:Fandom Stuff]]
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| {{crapstub}}
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