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Gurochan: Difference between revisions

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{{infobox Chan|imageboard_name=GUROchan|imageboard_logo=[[File:Gurologo.png]]|date_founded=Unknown|major_boards=/f/, /g/, /s/|epic_win=owners getting v& 20 times, making their own IB software where all the variables are "deadloli"|homepage=<s>http://gurochan.net</s><s>http://gurochan.org</s><s>https://gurochan.ch and http://gurochanocizhuhg.onion/</s> <s>https://www.gurochan.cx/</s><s>https://www.gurochan.ga/</s>https://www.guro.wtf/|right}}
===== WARNING! GUROCHAN IS INFECTED WITH MALWARE, VIRUSES, SPYWARE, ADWARE, AND AIDS! =====


Do you have a hankering for doing the [[fapping|hanky-panky]] to a [[shota|little boy]] getting his dick cheese-grated onto a pizza? Do you dream about making a [[The_Human_Centipede|human centipede]], but aren't man enough to do it? Does the thought of eating a fetus, shitting it out, and eating it again make your mouth water with excitement? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, '''gurochan'''&trade; is for you!


== The thing that just won't die ==
{{infobox Chan|imageboard_name=GUROchan|imageboard_logo=[[File:Gurologo.png]]|date_founded=Unknown|major_boards=/f/, /g/, /s/|epic_win=owners getting v& 20 times, making their own IB software where all the variables are "deadloli"|homepage=<s>http://gurochan.net</s><s>http://gurochan.org</s><s>https://gurochan.ch and http://gurochanocizhuhg.onion/</s> <s>https://www.gurochan.cx/</s><s>https://www.gurochan.ga/</s>https://www.gurochan.ga/|right}}


Gurochan has mysteriously [[v&|disappeared]] twice in recorded history, for "unknown" reasons. Most believe it was because the first admins were serial killers and the second ones were pedos. However, just like any cockroach, it seems that no matter how many times you kill this site, it keeps coming back.
Do you have a hankering for doing the [[fapping|hanky-panky]] to a [[shota|little boy]] getting his dick cheese-grated onto a pizza? Do you dream about making a [[The_Human_Centipede|human centipede]], but aren't man enough to do it? Does the thought of eating a fetus, shitting it out, and eating it again make your mouth water with excitement? Do you want viruses and child porn? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, '''gurochan'''&trade; is for you!


The current admins are enclaved and ryonaloli. Little is known about enclaved except that he lives off of his mom's disability check in a studio apartment in russia, and stays on irc all day high on heroin. Literally NOTHING is known about ryonaloli, except that he is so fucking paranoid he wears tinfoil around his dick so the [[NSA]] won't monitor his dicksignals and that he seems to be pro google. Or at least he's against an irrational hatred for google.
== The thing that just didn't die ==


On this site, expect to find boards literally DEDICATED to shit (/s/), bugs fucking amputees in the ass (/f/), and fat guys gang-raping a [[loli]]'s eyesocket (/g/).
Gurochan has mysteriously [[v&|disappeared]] twice in recorded history, for "unknown" reasons. Most believe it was because the first admins were serial killers and the second ones were pedos. However, just like any cockroach, it seems that no matter how many times you kill this site, it kept coming back. Despite now being online, the site is the deadest it has ever been, '''because of the viruses.'''


Oh, and one more thing...
The current admin is Kaguya. Little is known about him except that he is jewish and a devout member of NAMBLA.


..they have a /fur/ board.
Previous admins include:


== IRC ==
Enclaved, who probably died on heroin. If he didn't die on heroin, he died because he ran out of heroin and his druggy head exploded.


The official IRC channel is not even owned by gurochan at all, which is not surprising considering enclaved blows all his money on krokodil and ryonaloli blows all his money on tinfoil hats. The embarassing part though, if someone who owns fucking gurochan could actually FEEL embarassment, is the owners of the site only have +voice on their shitty channel... The actual owner of the channel, animone, wants to be king of the freaks and will NOT give up ownership of this channel to the actual admins, which is predictable since they are beta losers anyway. Animone is also known to somehow lurk for months on irc without saying anything, meaning "she" is obviously the [[FBI]].
Ryonaloli, who adopted a daughter and probably killed her. He was the most paranoid fuck and wrapped his phone in tin foil and only used tor.


== Gurochan revived (again) and the war with r/Guro ==
Kuukunen, pretty much the reason Gurochan was always down, also lives in japan like the neckbeard he is


In 2019, Straitjackit was notified by gurochan's host that it didn't appreciate the site hosting imagery of lolis getting cattle pronged while hooked on an IV machine full of zit juice and vomit. So Straitjackit followed in the footsteps of Mark Poolerberg, owner of alt.binaries.diaper.porn, and obliged without a second thought, [[Troll|wiping 99.9999999% of the site clean.]]
''Straitjackit, was never an admin, but liked calling himself that because he's retarded'' (Despite not being the admin, his "era" was the last golden age of Gurochan)


This [[Waaaambulance|predictably caused mass butthurt]], and the remaining [[oldfags]] from 2005 era gurochan all collectively packed for reddit/killed themselves. Gurochan didn't last long after the loli ban, and some spammed [[Captain Picard|CP]] in [[asshurt|retaliation]], which in turn caused the current Gurochan staff to [[ragequit|give up]] and [[shut it down|shut the site down.]] For <s>about a year and a half</s> [[at least 100 years ago]], there was no gurochan, or even a bunker board, since despite gurochan's userbase being primarily made up of 45 year old virgins, they still aren't good at computer, so no one could host a proper replacement. That is until one [[Mother Russia|33 year old Russian pedophile]] came around, who goes by the name ''kuz'' ([[Powerword]]: '''Yuri Kuznetsov'''), the man behind many famous [[*chans|imageboards]], such as [[who|9channel]] and [[huh|heyuri]]. Despite having so many successful imageboards under [[penis|his wing]], he wanted [[moar|more.]]
Kuz, a '''JEW!''' who used Kaguya to get Gurochan from Kuukunen, who had all but given up on hosting because he's too busy living in japan and being a homo.


In the year 1985 + 36, during kuzzykins quest of finding imageboards to [[rape|partner up with]], he finds the lazy fags that ran the previous iteration of gurochan and struck a deal with them. Gurochan came back with no issues, until a few seconds after the site launched, kuz and the previous gurochan team had [[Cocksucking Rampage|an argument]] over which [[horsecock|trojan horse]] ads and [[aids|datamining software]] should be embedded into the boards. Kuz rightfully called Straitjackit a fat nigger faggot, and [[b&]] everyone from the pisscord group. Straitjackit and his lackies [https://archive.ph/Z1QUT bitched on the new gurochan], owned and operated by Kolyma Network™, in hopes of stealing back the userbase, but then they [[Self-aware|realized]] [[lul|the userbase hates their fucking guts.]] The only community that gave them any [[asspat|sympathy]] was [https://archive.is/tXBXj r/guro], the only guro community filled with [[virgins|male-feminists]] that fap to drawn pictures of [[Women's suffrage|dead women]], while simultaneously [[bitch|reprimanding]] [[faggot|someone]] for [[shitting|making]] a [[unfunny|joke]] on another [[reddit|subreddit]].


As of right now, Gurochan is about as active as it's always been, with practically no rules, except for [[Rule 34]]. Along with the no rules attitude this new iteration has, there's also a few [[incest|sister chans]], like [https://bloodymess.net/ Gorechan], and [https://lolisare.fun/lg/ LOLIBOARD]. Because Kuz is a ruski and hosts the site himself, he's [[hax|immune]] to Murican internet laws, so he can host as much loli raep as he wants, [[Baaa|much to the dismay of plebbit's guro community.]]
 
The #guro IRC channel is now pretty much dead, and the community has largely moved to reddit to avoid the new Gurochan website '''''WHICH HAS VIRUSES AND MALWARE AND WILL DESTROY YOUR PC!!!'''''
 
== The Vodka-swilling Swindler ==
 
Until recently, Gurochan was down for a while. Kuukunen, the admin, was too busy being a [[You|greasy fat weeb fag]], and the last mods, the gayest of them all, Straitjackit, were sitting around looking for ways to host the site. After much lulz, Straitjackit was tricked into getting Kuukunen to hand over the website. Kuz, a notorious kike, and the new owner of an already dead site, then got into an argument after wanting to advertise his other dead sites on Gurochan, given it was the only bit of success he had gotten for a while. Straitjackit went nigmode and banned Kuz and then Kuz's little brother banned everyone from the shitcord server.
 
Upon realising that he just turned a community against him and ruining Gurochan with useless updates, and breaking the report system further, Kuz sent out LOLsuits, to which Straitjackit replied "Suck a hot fart out of my ass" like the faggot retard he is.
 
 
As of right now, Gurochan is dead. People complain on the site about the posting of child pronz and the trolls, but they're the only thing keeping that place alive.
There are rumors that Straitjackit has a new website exclusive to onionfags, which there is no proof of, but some people say they've used it, and the general consensus is that although it's more lively than Gurochan, it has stricter rules.
 
 
 
'''Nu Gurochan allows child porn! Epic!'''
''We here at Gurochan love child porn! Please post more!'' ~ '''Official quote'''


== How to troll ==
== How to troll ==


* Go on IRC claiming to be the feds, and tell ryonaloli his [[CP]] stash will be confiscated.
*Remind Kaguya that nobody knows who he is
* Remind animone that being a [[tranny]] just makes you a [[faggot]], NOT a gurl.
*Talk about Straitjackit's new site
* <s>Remind enclaved he fails at life</s> He's constantly too high on da krok to care.
*Talk about there being viruses on gurochan
* Post reaction pictures to everything.
*Talk about the lolsuits
* Use TOR to evade bans.
*Remind gurofags that they'll always be alone because of this


== Gallery ==
== Gallery ==
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== External links ==
== External links ==
* [https://www.guro.wtf/ Gurochan]
* [https://www.guro.wtf/ Get your viruses here]
* [http://gurochan.ch What's the worst that could happen? (for chrome: type in "thisisunsafe" to load page)]
* [http://gurochan.ch What's the worst that could happen? (for chrome: type in "thisisunsafe" to load page)]
* [http://dev.alpinelinux.org/irclogs/%23alpine-linux-2017-04.log ryonaloli talks about google and chrome]
* [http://dev.alpinelinux.org/irclogs/%23alpine-linux-2017-04.log ryonaloli talks about google and chrome]

Revision as of 14:40, 11 July 2021

WARNING! GUROCHAN IS INFECTED WITH MALWARE, VIRUSES, SPYWARE, ADWARE, AND AIDS!
GUROchan
FoundationUnknown
Major Boards/f/, /g/, /s/
Epic Winsowners getting v& 20 times, making their own IB software where all the variables are "deadloli"
Websitehttp://gurochan.nethttp://gurochan.orghttps://gurochan.ch and http://gurochanocizhuhg.onion/ https://www.gurochan.cx/https://www.gurochan.ga/https://www.gurochan.ga/

Do you have a hankering for doing the hanky-panky to a little boy getting his dick cheese-grated onto a pizza? Do you dream about making a human centipede, but aren't man enough to do it? Does the thought of eating a fetus, shitting it out, and eating it again make your mouth water with excitement? Do you want viruses and child porn? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, gurochan™ is for you!

The thing that just didn't die

Gurochan has mysteriously disappeared twice in recorded history, for "unknown" reasons. Most believe it was because the first admins were serial killers and the second ones were pedos. However, just like any cockroach, it seems that no matter how many times you kill this site, it kept coming back. Despite now being online, the site is the deadest it has ever been, because of the viruses.

The current admin is Kaguya. Little is known about him except that he is jewish and a devout member of NAMBLA.

Previous admins include:

Enclaved, who probably died on heroin. If he didn't die on heroin, he died because he ran out of heroin and his druggy head exploded.

Ryonaloli, who adopted a daughter and probably killed her. He was the most paranoid fuck and wrapped his phone in tin foil and only used tor.

Kuukunen, pretty much the reason Gurochan was always down, also lives in japan like the neckbeard he is

Straitjackit, was never an admin, but liked calling himself that because he's retarded (Despite not being the admin, his "era" was the last golden age of Gurochan)

Kuz, a JEW! who used Kaguya to get Gurochan from Kuukunen, who had all but given up on hosting because he's too busy living in japan and being a homo.


The #guro IRC channel is now pretty much dead, and the community has largely moved to reddit to avoid the new Gurochan website WHICH HAS VIRUSES AND MALWARE AND WILL DESTROY YOUR PC!!!

The Vodka-swilling Swindler

Until recently, Gurochan was down for a while. Kuukunen, the admin, was too busy being a greasy fat weeb fag, and the last mods, the gayest of them all, Straitjackit, were sitting around looking for ways to host the site. After much lulz, Straitjackit was tricked into getting Kuukunen to hand over the website. Kuz, a notorious kike, and the new owner of an already dead site, then got into an argument after wanting to advertise his other dead sites on Gurochan, given it was the only bit of success he had gotten for a while. Straitjackit went nigmode and banned Kuz and then Kuz's little brother banned everyone from the shitcord server.

Upon realising that he just turned a community against him and ruining Gurochan with useless updates, and breaking the report system further, Kuz sent out LOLsuits, to which Straitjackit replied "Suck a hot fart out of my ass" like the faggot retard he is.


As of right now, Gurochan is dead. People complain on the site about the posting of child pronz and the trolls, but they're the only thing keeping that place alive. There are rumors that Straitjackit has a new website exclusive to onionfags, which there is no proof of, but some people say they've used it, and the general consensus is that although it's more lively than Gurochan, it has stricter rules.


Nu Gurochan allows child porn! Epic! We here at Gurochan love child porn! Please post more! ~ Official quote

How to troll

  • Remind Kaguya that nobody knows who he is
  • Talk about Straitjackit's new site
  • Talk about there being viruses on gurochan
  • Talk about the lolsuits
  • Remind gurofags that they'll always be alone because of this

Gallery

Use eyebleach... About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See also

  • trippin-resident whore of #guro.Telling her she's a dumb slut will get you b&

External links

Gurochan is part of a series on

Chans

Visit the Chans Portal for complete coverage.

Gurochan is part of a series on

Sites

Visit the Sites Portal for complete coverage.

Gurochan

is part of a series on

IRC

Please visit the IRC PORTAL for more


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