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| {{spoilers|text= IT'S [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2018020/Amy-Winehouse-dead--Found-dead-London-flat.html?ito=feeds-newsxml FINALLY DEAD]}}
| | YOU DIDN'T TAKE MY ARTICLE DOWN, YOU DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES [[User:Snackycakes2008|Snackycakes2008]] 10:57, 28 July 2011 (CEST) |
| [[Image:amywinehouseIRL.jpg|thumb|center|300px|Amy, as she <strike>is now</strike> <strike>was before dying</strike> is now.]]
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| [[Image:Amy-winehouse-topless-2-20.jpg|thumb|center|500px|<center>And nothing of value was lost.</center>]]
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| <br>
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| [[Image:Amywinehouseteeth.jpg|thumb|BLIMEY GUVNUH!!1!]]
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| [[Image:Amy Winehousescawy.jpg|thumb|[[Forever Alone|;_;]]]]
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| [[Image:Birthcontrol.jpg|thumb|OH GOD HOW DID THIS GET HERE I AM NOT GOOD WITH COMPUTER]]
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| '''Amy "Wino" Crackhouse'''{{jew}} (née Amilée Chateau in Frenchese) <strike>is</strike> was (lol) a drug-addled, [[alcoholic]] [[Jewish]] [[attention whore]] [[wigger]] from England known less for her [[whore|sultry]] jazz singing and moar for being a self-destructive [[drama queen]] of [[Pete Doherty]] proportions. When people saw her, they yelled "Who let this ugly piece of shit in here?". As tactfully pointed out by Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle, Amy looked like a RSPCA promo poster for neglected horses. [[The Man|They]] tried to make her go to [[rehab]], but she said "no, no, no" and instead went to the bank with a load of [[cash]] up her [[butt]] from exploiting her own [[fail|vulnerabilities]]. Musically, she was influenced entirely by [[Nigra|black]] [[music]], first 'borrowing' [[Old School|classic]] smoky jazz-club stylings for her first album and then stealing the Motown classics [[tracing|note-for-note]] on her second, and ripping of the Shangri Las "bad girl" persona.
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| ==Musical Career==
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| [[Image:Amy Winehousecig.jpg|thumb|portrait of a lady.]]
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| To date, Winehouse has released two CDs of her [[retard]]ed warbling. The first, entitled "Frank" was released in 2003 and legend has it that if you play both albums backwards they sound very fucking similar. Someone had to call the [[911|wahhhhmbulance]] because her managers wanted her to go to a [[prison|rehabilitation facility]] for being a [[drunk|drunken]] [[whore]]. Her reply? Not "no, no, no" this time, but she did write a repetitious song about it that [[forced meme|everyone went batshit over]]. This single is proof, once again, that Jews are in charge of the record industry, and that they can make ''anything'' a hit.
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| ==Family Life==
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| [[Image:Winehouse domestic violence.jpg|thumb|It's pretty clear who won this round]]
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| [[Image:AmyTears1WENN 468x373.jpg|thumb|right|[[BAWWWWW]] ]]
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| [[Image:Amy Winehouse Running.jpg|thumb|A healthy, active, '''24'''-year old.]]
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| Luckily for this [[pro-ana]] trainwreck, she has a highly supportive network of family members. Stand-up citizens include:
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| ===The Husband===
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| Honest and caring husband, Blake Fielder-Civil is currently enjoying the company of [[Bubba]], in Prison, due to a [[fail]]ed attempt to intimidate witnesses, [[pervert]]ing the course of justice, and being a [[Domestic_violence|tough guy]]. After enjoying the [[rape|attention]] of his fellow inmates for a few months [[some_argue|many believe]] that any attraction Blake had for Amy will immediately [[Divide_by_zero|vanish]], only to be replaced by a powerful and primal urge for [[buttsecks|anal violation]].
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| Apparently Blake's love of the [[Money|folding]] is strong indeed, desperate to stay on the wino gravytrain he's asking for [[Over_nine_thousand|$6,000,000]] in a divorce settlement. But then she died so [[NO]]. Though he might have had a case for spousal abuse:
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| <br>
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| {{quote|I'll beat up Blake when I'm drunk. I don't think I have ever bruised him, but I do have my way. If he says one thing I don't like then I'll chin him.|Amy Winehouse, [http://uk.news.yahoo.com/wenn/20070612/ten-winehouse-i-attack-blake-c60bd6d.html on her husband]}}
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| ===Her Father===
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| Her father Mitch appears to crave the [[Hookers_and_blow|bright lights and endless attention]] of the [[Internet Celebrity|celebrity]] life too! Aware that life might be tough for Amy he sought to have her [[Insane#Batshit_Crazy|committed]] to a [[hugbox|safe environment]]. When faced with the charge that he may be at least partially responsible for her 'problems' he simply replies "[[No_u|No U]]" Sadly Mitch is neither a [[Leet|talented]] [[music]]ian and is notable only because of the [[lolcow]] which he spawned.
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| <br>
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| {{quote|I want her sectioned. The situation is getting out of control. I want her off the [[Prostitute|street]]. I don't think being somewhere (in [[rehab]]) for six weeks is going to cure her problems. I think it needs far more [[Last_measure|radical measures]].|Mitch Winehouse, on his daughter|http://breakingnews.iol.ie/entertainment/story.asp?j=19419426&p=y94y948x}}
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| ==The Crazy Bitch and Her Issues==
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| [[Image:Stash3.jpg|thumb|A visual recreation of Ms. Winehouse's weekly intake, prepared by Interpol]]
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| Here is a sample of things Ms. Winehouse has been accused of:
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| *Being a Jew
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| *[[Drugs|Drug Abuse]]
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| *[[Eating disorder]]s (she has admitted to anorexia and bulimia, and several undiscovered disorders.)
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| *[[cutting|Self-injury]]
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| *[[Bipolar disorder]] which she has admitted she refuses to control with medication, preferring to be an [[alcoholic]] [[emo]] [[fucktard]].
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| *[[Drugs]]
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| *Being [[English]]
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| *Having retarded [[tattoo]]s
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| *Being a Jew
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| *Spousal abuse (hitting her husband lololol)
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| *Smoking [[crack]] [http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/article710911.ece PROOF!]
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| *Burning out the eyes of paparazzi unlucky enough to snap photographs of her during the ungodly hours of the morning. [http://www.nme.com/news/tabloid-hell/32900 dumbwhore]
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| *[[Alcohol]]<br>
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| '''...'''
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| <br>
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| *Oh, and [[Drugs]]
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| *Oh, and she's dead.
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| ==Winehouse OTI==
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| [[Image:AmyPapersWENN 468x632.jpg|thumb|LONG WAYS TO GO YET, GOLLUM CAN SHOWS YOU THE WAY]]
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| ===[[Perez Hilton]]===
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| Famed internets [[faggot]] Perez Hilton has become completely and uncontrollably obsessed with this dumb [[alcoholic]] whore for no apparent reason. Despite the existence of [[Lindsay Lohan|much more famous crazy bitches]] he posts shit about Amy Winehouse constantly, giving her much more publicity than she deserves. [[ALL CAPS|WE ALREADY KNOW SHE'S A DUMB WHORE, WE DON'T HAVE TO BE TOLD EVERY 5 MINUTES]].
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| ===Amy Winehouse Goes Straight===
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| Recently it was revealed that Amy Winehouse had quit drugs and alcohol, and was no longer in trouble with the law. In fact, [[Wikipedia:Amy Winehouse|according to Wikipedia]], Mrs. Winehouse has [[BLP|never had any substance abuse problems nor has she ever committed a crime]]. It was all apparently just a typical tabloid smear campaign and [[Lie|none of those things ever really happened]].
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| ===She's an [[adult baby]]!===
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| [[Image:Amywinehouseadultbaby.jpg|thumb|The paparazzi get in position for the [[money shot]], only to be [[cock block]]ed by a device used to control incontinence, normal everyday wear for toddlers, and, apparently, drug addled twenty-something women.]]
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| According to a completely accurate [[valleywag|celebrity blog]] recently, Amy Winehouse had taken to wearing "nappies", an [[England|English]] term for diapers:
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| {{squote|Prepare to [[irony|fall in love]] with Amy Winehouse all over again, as a [[German]] newspaper is reporting today that she has now begun to wear a diaper whenever she leaves the house. It’s a [[hot]] image, yes? Just the idea of Amy Winehouse, [[drunk]] and [[high ]]and slurring her already [[english|indecipherable]] accent. "Oh bugger, I've gone an' soiled my knickers I have."|OH SHI-}}
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| <s>Oh god, I can’t be the only one who is [[fapfapfap|totally turned on right now]].</s>
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| No, you aren't, [[diaperfur|you sick bastard]].
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| == Videos ==
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| <center><big>'''Brought to you by a shitty [[Brazil]]ian TV Show'''</big><br>
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| <youtube>QnRo_m-Z2o0</youtube></center>
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| <center><big>'''Brought to you by [[French]] TV Show : the French official Amy Winehouse look-alike'''</big><br>
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| <youtube>ZGhnPY08gmI</youtube></center>
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| <center>{{fv|winehousevids|background-color: white; margin: auto;|font-weight: bold;|<center><youtube>jqR0XgKPjNk</youtube></center>{{quote| [[Protip]]: If a [[nigger]] calls you 'crackhouse', you know something is wrong.}}|<center>'''A fitting final performance.'''</center><br/><center><youtube>y15N-vMnsIw</youtube></center>{{quote|I was panicking. I didn't know know how to help her. I was out of it on drugs as well - and was sobbing and crying out, 'Amy!'|Mr Winehouse}}}}</center>
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| ==[[Lol|Dead]]==
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| [[File:ChallengeAccepted.png|right|thumb|200px|She did enough heroin to kill [[Charlie Sheen|two and half men]].]]
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| Well, that [[duh|was quick]]. On July 23rd, 2011, police removed a bag of drugs and needles from Miss Winehouse's home. They quickly passed it on to the coroner to perform the autopsy on it. This followed a month of drug-induced fail, including a [[Shit|performance]] in which she stumbled onto the staged, mumbled out a string of garbled and unintelligible lyrics, and where she "appeared [[Terri Schiavo|removed from reality]]" throughout the entire performance. Her attendants, who were under instruction to remove all alcohol from her room, clearly failed. The performance was so bad and flew onto [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6c2t-51X1gM JewTube] so quickly that she had no choice but to cancel her tour. These things happen when you don't want to go to [[rehab]]. This pathetic lifestyle will be a good lesson to all the little kiddies: If you are so weak willed that you fly off the rails every time you're even near being drunk or high, you will end up dead in a puddle of your own piss and vomit like this sad cunt. To honor her memory, the [[Left 4 Dead]] developers have made an infected in her honor. It's about as fucked up as her life style was. Amy became an heroine; her parents have been refused possession of her ashes in the future since they will be regarded a class-A drug.
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| Apparently, her body was so fucked up that not even the [[CSI|medical examiner]] could tell what the fuck killed her following the autopsy. We're going to have to wait even longer for the toxicology reports, which will only tell us what we [[an hero|already know]].
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| ''"Amy Winehouse was set to start work on her new album this weekend...
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| Sadly though she only managed a few lines."''
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| ==Gallery==
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| <gallery>
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| Image:WinehouseLA.jpg|Elvira?! Is that you?!
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| Image:Winehouse.jpg|I just [[crack|lost my baby fat]]
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| Image:Amy winehouse-smokes crack.jpg|Caught on film smoking crack in front of a wedding photo
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| Image:Amy-winehouse-drunk-smoking.jpg|Amy, [[redundent|drunk off her ass]].
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| Image:Amy winehouse drunk again.jpg|Pissed again, but in this one she's a little more coherent...because she's also on meth.
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| Image:Winehouse drunk5.jpeg|There's tons of these on the internet
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| Image:Winehouse drunk4.jpg|here's another
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| Image:Winehouse drunk6.jpg|and another
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| Image:Winehouse-sammich.jpg|The only time Amy Winehouse has ever been seen to eat anything, ever.
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| Image:AmyWinehouseCrackBaby.jpg|Amy was a crackbaby.
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| </gallery>
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| ==See Also==
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| A brief list of other train-wreck celebrities for your [[lulz|enjoyment]]:
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| *[[Pete Doherty]]
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| *[[Britney Spears]]
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| *[[Heath Ledger]]
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| *[[Madonna]]
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| *[[Anna Nicole Smith]]
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| *[[Chavs]]
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| ==External Links==
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| *[http://www.amywinehouse.co.uk/ Official Site]
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| *[http://www.myspace.com/amywinehouse The Myspace]
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| *[http://www.whenwillamywinehousedie.com/ When will Amy Winehouse die? Win an iPod touch!]
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| <br>
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| {{whores}}
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| {{dying alone}}
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| {{Music}}
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| {{Timeline|Amy Winehouse|Rootbrian|Featured [[ED:AOTN|Article of the Now]] July 22 and 23 2011|Riley34470|}}
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| [[Category:Music]]
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| [[Category:People|Winehouse, Amy]]
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