Battlefield 3

Battlefield 3 (AKA "Bad Company: 3", "Badfield: 3" or "Lets go and hide in that bush over there: 3") is a First Person Shooter game that encourages its players to forage through bushes and spawn rape the other team. The game, which has slowly turned itself into a cheap knockoff of Call of Duty; boasts controllable tanks, jets and other annoying vehicles that the developers behind other FPS franchises intentionally omitted from their games. When arguing with a pasty-faced Battlefag, be prepared to listen to long-winded rants about Battlefield 3 having superb graphics (lol, only if you have a high-end PC) and large maps. Since the game was announced, preachy Battlefield fanboys have been waging an online jihad against Modern Warfare 3; all because they can't bear the thought of seeing another first person shooter outsell their precious game. In fact; for the past year or so, Battlefield fans have talked more about Call of Duty than Battlefield itself, which just goes to show how Battlefield fanboys have become the Jehova Witnesses of FPS gaming.

Multiplayer

Be advised. Be advised. Be advised. Be advised. Be advised. Be advised. Be advised. I will be hiding in that bush over there. As in Bad Company 2, you will get raped by reconfags and assaultfags. Playing support and engineer is gradually less homosexual. Get ready to see mangled turtlemen hiding in the bushes.

Beta

The Battlefield 3 beta, which was released only a few weeks before the game was due to be put on disc, had so many bugs and glitches that DICE actually considered extending the beta for another ten years. If you were lucky enough not to fall through the uninspired map on Metro, you might have been given the opportunity to get instakilled by some 10 year old hiding behind a tree.

Campaign

Nobody gives a shit about the campaign mode in Battlefield games.

See Also

• Battlefield: Bad Company 2
• Battlefield 2
• Call of Duty
• Modern Warfare 3
• Fanboy