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Christopher Walken: Difference between revisions

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[[Image:ChristopherWalken.jpg|thumb|right|The face of a man who needs [[moar]] cowbell.]]
[[Image:ChristopherWalken.jpg|thumb|right|The face of a man who needs [[moar]] cowbell.]]
[[Image:Christopherweird.jpg|thumb|[[DO NOT WANT]]]]
[[Image:Christopherweird.jpg|thumb|[[DO NOT WANT]]]]
<center>{{morphquote|mqtest|background-color:#ffffff; width: 600px;|font-weight: bold;
|I'm actually a pretty normal guy.|
|I like cats. They're low-maintenance.|
|(When asked about "Gigli") "I didn't see it.|
|When I see a punctuation mark on a script, I usually cross it out.|
|I got a fever *cough*, and I really need medicine...i really do.|
}}</center>


'''Christopher Walken''' is an actor of immeasurable talent who nonetheless has become a [[Pop Culture]] icon because of his [[batshit crazy|casual weirdness]] and lulzy mannerisms.
'''Christopher Walken''' is an actor of immeasurable talent who nonetheless has become a [[Pop Culture]] icon because of his [[batshit crazy|casual weirdness]] and lulzy mannerisms.


==Biography==
He is rumored to have been spawned from the collective unconscious of Queens, New York on March 31st, 1943, and he appeared as a young kid on television, much to [[shotacat]]'s approval.  His first movie was a [[sick fuck|Woody Allen]] movie, before Allen married his daughter and caused [[lulz]] in Hollywood.  Walken then appeared in [[at least 100]] films although for a total of fifteen minutes average for each movie.
Walken is rumored to have been spawned from the collective unconscious of Queens, New York on March 31st, 1943, and he appeared as a young kid on television, much to [[shotacat]]'s approval.  His first movie was a [[sick fuck|Woody Allen]] movie, before Allen married his daughter and caused [[lulz]] in Hollywood.  Walken then appeared in [[at least 100]] films although for a total of fifteen minutes average for each movie.


As for [[teh]] [[Internets]], Walken was inadvertently responsible for the [[old meme]] known as "more cowbell" because he was unfortunate enough to have to utter it [[at least 100]] times in an overrated SNL skit. Now the said [[meme]] is heard constantly as a [[faggotry]] indicator second in popularity only to rainbows and [[Europe]]. Another plague upon the [[Internets]] rests on the shoulders of [[fanfic]] writers (mostly [[goth]] and [[emo]], filled with [[angst]] even in their thirties). Many of these people dwell within [[LiveJournal]] and [[IMDB]], as well as outside Walken's house at 3 a.m. spraypainting pentacles on his front lawn. Fans consider him [[an hero]] and will sacrifice you to the [[rape spider]] if you dare mention "Heaven's Gate", "Gigli", et al.   
As for [[teh]] [[Internets]], Walken was inadvertently responsible for the [[old meme]] known as "more cowbell" because he was unfortunate enough to have to utter it [[at least 100]] times in an overrated SNL skit. Now the said [[meme]] is heard constantly as a [[faggotry]] indicator second in popularity only to rainbows and [[Europe]]. Another plague upon the [[Internets]] rests on the shoulders of [[fanfic]] writers (mostly [[goth]] and [[emo]], filled with [[angst]] even in their thirties). Many of these people dwell within [[LiveJournal]] and [[IMDB]], as well as outside Walken's house at 3 a.m. spraypainting pentacles on his front lawn. Fans consider him [[an hero]] and will sacrifice you to the [[rape spider]] if you dare mention "Heaven's Gate", "Gigli", et al.   
Line 11: Line 18:
He is quite notorious for appearing in the middle of the movie and making you say ''"Holy shit, that's Cristopher Walken!!!!11!!1"'', and is rumored to be a good actor. This is up for much debate though, because nobody can tell for sure as he never usually appears for more than 5 minutes. Also, most of his movies tend to be pretty bad, as he is often called in at the last minute to appear in said bad movies when the studio gets desperate to save their [[POS]] movie. He rants about random things for awhile and then saunters off camera.  He is therefore listed in the '''Hollywood Book of Reference''' under "Emergency". His acting style is to keep the same stonefaced expression the entire time he's on screen, and adding huge emphasis on completely random syllables while sometimes pausing for several seconds in the middle of a sentence.
He is quite notorious for appearing in the middle of the movie and making you say ''"Holy shit, that's Cristopher Walken!!!!11!!1"'', and is rumored to be a good actor. This is up for much debate though, because nobody can tell for sure as he never usually appears for more than 5 minutes. Also, most of his movies tend to be pretty bad, as he is often called in at the last minute to appear in said bad movies when the studio gets desperate to save their [[POS]] movie. He rants about random things for awhile and then saunters off camera.  He is therefore listed in the '''Hollywood Book of Reference''' under "Emergency". His acting style is to keep the same stonefaced expression the entire time he's on screen, and adding huge emphasis on completely random syllables while sometimes pausing for several seconds in the middle of a sentence.


He has a house in the town of Wilton, Connecticut which is infested with yuppies and emos. He offers plenty of lulz by answering the door wearing underwear and shooting candy out of a BB Gun at kids during Halloween. Basically he's batshit insane.
He has a house in the town of Wilton, [[Liberal|Connecticut]] which is infested with yuppies and emos. He offers plenty of lulz by answering the door wearing underwear and shooting candy out of a BB Gun at kids on Halloween. Basically he's batshit [[insane]].
 
In 2008, Walken unsuccessfully ran for President of the United States and was officially sponsored by [[General Mayhem]].
 
Good friends with [[noone]].
 
==Actual Quotes==
 
*"I'm actually a pretty normal guy."
 
*"I like cats. They're low-maintenance."
 
*(When asked about "Gigli") "I didn't see it."
 
*"When I see a punctuation mark on a script, I usually cross it out."
 
*"I got a fever *cough*, and I really need medicine...i really do."


==Walken's IRL Fears==
==Walken's IRL Fears==
Line 42: Line 33:
*Bad [[fanfic|Fanfiction]]
*Bad [[fanfic|Fanfiction]]


<gallery>
<center><gallery>
Image:Christopher_Walken_Pwning_David_Caruso.gif|In a true act of [[An Hero|heroism]], Walken fucking owns the biggest fuck in the world
Image:Christopher_Walken_Pwning_David_Caruso.gif|In a true act of [[An Hero|heroism]], Walken fucking owns the biggest fuck in the world
Image:Walken.jpg|People actually write fanfic porn about this character. If you're guilty of this, please die now.   
Image:Walken.jpg|People actually write fanfic porn about this character. If you're guilty of this, please die now.   
Line 50: Line 41:
Image:BoobiesLULZ.JPG|[[Fail|Christopher Walken]] a fucktard, here for the [[tits|Boobies]].
Image:BoobiesLULZ.JPG|[[Fail|Christopher Walken]] a fucktard, here for the [[tits|Boobies]].
Image:WalkenPoster.jpg
Image:WalkenPoster.jpg
</gallery>


</gallery>
Chris Walken loves horses and computers.
Chris Walken loves horses and computers.
<youtube>043WEs_6TAo</youtube>
<youtube>043WEs_6TAo</youtube>

Revision as of 23:50, 7 May 2012

The face of a man who needs moar cowbell.
DO NOT WANT
   
“ 		 
I'm actually a pretty normal guy.
  		„
  		 

   
“ 		 
I like cats. They're low-maintenance.
  		„
  		 

   
“ 		 
(When asked about "Gigli") "I didn't see it.
  		„
  		 

   
“ 		 
When I see a punctuation mark on a script, I usually cross it out.
  		„
  		 

   
“ 		 
I got a fever *cough*, and I really need medicine...i really do.
  		„
  		 

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Christopher Walken is an actor of immeasurable talent who nonetheless has become a Pop Culture icon because of his casual weirdness and lulzy mannerisms.

He is rumored to have been spawned from the collective unconscious of Queens, New York on March 31st, 1943, and he appeared as a young kid on television, much to shotacat's approval. His first movie was a Woody Allen movie, before Allen married his daughter and caused lulz in Hollywood. Walken then appeared in at least 100 films although for a total of fifteen minutes average for each movie.

As for teh Internets, Walken was inadvertently responsible for the old meme known as "more cowbell" because he was unfortunate enough to have to utter it at least 100 times in an overrated SNL skit. Now the said meme is heard constantly as a faggotry indicator second in popularity only to rainbows and Europe. Another plague upon the Internets rests on the shoulders of fanfic writers (mostly goth and emo, filled with angst even in their thirties). Many of these people dwell within LiveJournal and IMDB, as well as outside Walken's house at 3 a.m. spraypainting pentacles on his front lawn. Fans consider him an hero and will sacrifice you to the rape spider if you dare mention "Heaven's Gate", "Gigli", et al.

He is quite notorious for appearing in the middle of the movie and making you say "Holy shit, that's Cristopher Walken!!!!11!!1", and is rumored to be a good actor. This is up for much debate though, because nobody can tell for sure as he never usually appears for more than 5 minutes. Also, most of his movies tend to be pretty bad, as he is often called in at the last minute to appear in said bad movies when the studio gets desperate to save their POS movie. He rants about random things for awhile and then saunters off camera. He is therefore listed in the Hollywood Book of Reference under "Emergency". His acting style is to keep the same stonefaced expression the entire time he's on screen, and adding huge emphasis on completely random syllables while sometimes pausing for several seconds in the middle of a sentence.

He has a house in the town of Wilton, Connecticut which is infested with yuppies and emos. He offers plenty of lulz by answering the door wearing underwear and shooting candy out of a BB Gun at kids on Halloween. Basically he's batshit insane.

Walken's IRL Fears

  • Driving
  • Guns
  • Marsupials(because they're fast)
  • Heights
  • His wife
  • Not working
  • His own shadow
  • Those twisty things at the end of bread wrappers
  • Film Critics
  • Bad Fanfiction
  • In a true act of heroism, Walken fucking owns the biggest fuck in the world
    In a true act of heroism, Walken fucking owns the biggest fuck in the world
  • People actually write fanfic porn about this character. If you're guilty of this, please die now.
    People actually write fanfic porn about this character. If you're guilty of this, please die now.
  • Walken chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool.
    Walken chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool.
  • Walken's scariest role evar!!1!
    Walken's scariest role evar!!1!
  • Trolls doing his fan page great justice.
    Trolls doing his fan page great justice.
  • Christopher Walken a fucktard, here for the Boobies.
    Christopher Walken a fucktard, here for the Boobies.
  • File:WalkenPoster.jpg

Chris Walken loves horses and computers.

External Links of Rabid Fandom

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