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John Pike: Difference between revisions

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{{cleanup}}
[[File:John Pike Jesus.jpg| center| frame|Fuck [[Jesus]]]]
[[File:Article-2065628-0EE8841400000578-142 306x370.jpg|thumb|right|John Pike - waiting to charge up his peppah sprayzers]]
[[File:Article-2065628-0EE8841400000578-142 306x370.jpg|thumb|right|Like a [[boss]]]]
'''<s>Lt.</s> John Pike''', a.k.a. "The Pepper Spray [[pig|Cop]]" is the man who on November 18, 2011, casually sprayed pepper spray on [[Occupy Wall Street|Occupy UC Davis]] [[hippies|protesters]] at the University of [[California]], Davis.
'''Lt. John Pike''', a.k.a. '''The Pepper Spray cop''' a.k.a '''Dr Pepper''' is a [[badass]] policeman who appropriatley dealt with a large line of dirty jobless [[hippies]] at the [[Occupy Wall Street|Occupy CU Davis]] in [[California]], by [[pwn|pwning]] their ugly faces with nice hot stream of pepper spray. Pike couldn't stand their newfaggotry and bitchy whining, plus the little shits where blocking his way to an ice cream van on the other side of the park, and did what any God-Loving patriot would do, proceeding to whip out is [[Dong|Pepper spray can]] and covered the irritating [[nerds]] in liquidized orange pain [[I DID IT FOR THE LULZ|for the lulz]].


Pike is a former [[badass|Marine]], who joined UC Davis's Campus Police after the service.  At [[fat|295 pounds]], Pike proclaims he sprayed the pepper spray to [[bullshit|protect his fellow officers]].
Since the incident, Pike has become a [[forced meme]], and every [[hipster]] in the universe has applied their [[retarded|brilliant]] photoshop slillz, cunt and pasting Pike's chillax lulzy strolling onto any random bollocks they can find.  


Since the incident, Pike has become a [[forced meme]], where anyone with a copy of Photoshop and access to the internet has made many [[unfunny|parody]] pictures.
==Footage of Pike raping hippie's eyes==


==Oh shit guise, it's [[Fox News|Faux News]]!==
<center>{{frame|<big>'''IN THE FACE'''</big><br>
Of course, it was only a matter of time before shit hit the fan. Namely when Fox News showed up. According to our retarded friends on the political Right, and I quote,
<youtube>6AdDLhPwpp4</youtube>|border=grey|background=grey}}</center>
{{quote|"Pepper spray is like a derivative of real pepper. '''It's like a [[Food|food]] product, essentially'''"|Megyn Kelly}}.


You heard it here, folks. Pepper spray is delicious and you must eat it. Even if it causes extreme pain not unlike shoving habañero peppers in your eyes.
==Fox News [[trolling|coverage]]==
[[File:John Pike Charizard.gif|thumb|right|[[Pokemon|It's super effective!]]]]
Faux News understand that this chubby cop was only truly doing his duty in spraying the little jobless bastards, and expressed in utmost sincerity through political pundit [[cumdumpster|Megyn Kelly]] that they were clearly just being a bunch of whining [[pussies]].
 
{{quote|Pepper spray is like a derivitive of real pepper. It's like a food product, essentially|[[Image:Trollicon.gif]]}}.
 
Of course most other news coverage spoke of this beautiful cop hero as though he is some sort of villain, despite being an astute defender of [[lulz]] and our right to walk through a park. Some even insinuated that the unwashed uni nerds were not explicitly [[asking for it]], which they clearly were, normal citizens need to walk their [[buy a dog|dog]] dammit.  
 
==[[Butthurt]] Anonymous==
Among the many people that were buttpained about Jonny-boy's appropriate use of force was [[anonymous]], [[13-year-old boy|13-year-olds]] everywhere switched on their screechy, lame voice synthesizers, focusing all the [[nerd rage]] they could into jewtube videos, stating that the whole situation is [[Serious business |srs business]]. And the selective vigilantism did in fact work, because John's [[dox]] where thereafter [http://pastebin.com/QghPtQLr posted].
 
{{frame|{{fv|needledropvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: soft;
|<youtube>qgOLoYxjiM8</youtube> <br> Analhurt Anonymous
|<youtube>XGHX9blEngM</youtube> <br> Man that synthesizer makes him sound so [[retarded|cool]]
}}|border=pink|background=pink; margin: .5em auto;}}


== Gallery ==
== Gallery ==
{{Moar|Pictures}}
{{cg|Did you want pepper with that?|generalpicgallery|center|<gallery>
 
File:OccupyUCD3.jpg|Be poor somewhere else.
{{cg|Have some pepper spray!|generalpicgallery|center|<gallery>
File:John Pike.jpg|[[OH EXPLOITABLE]]
File:OccupyUCD3.jpg|"Go be poor somewhere else, faggots!"
File:OWS police fashion.jpg
File:John Pike.jpg|Copypasta
File:John-pike-ows.jpg
File:OWS police fashion.jpg|Fascism is the new black.
File:John-pike-ows.jpg|John Pike: OWS
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Jp vs king-kong.jpg
File:Jp vs king-kong.jpg
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File:Obama-pike.jpg
File:Obama-pike.jpg
File:Pepper cat.jpg
File:Pepper cat.jpg
File:John Pike Star Wars.jpg
File:John Pike Lego.jpg
File:John Pike Beatles.jpg
File:John Pike AnHeroBudda.jpg
File:John Pike Portal.png
File:John Pike TheWonderfulWizard.jpg
File:John Pike Doom.jpg
File:John Pike Thanksgiving.jpg
File:John Pike Monet.jpg
File:John Pike SealisBroken.jpg
File:John Pike WTC.jpg
</gallery>}}
</gallery>}}


Revision as of 22:04, 26 November 2011

Fuck Jesus
Like a boss

Lt. John Pike, a.k.a. The Pepper Spray cop a.k.a Dr Pepper is a badass policeman who appropriatley dealt with a large line of dirty jobless hippies at the Occupy CU Davis in California, by pwning their ugly faces with nice hot stream of pepper spray. Pike couldn't stand their newfaggotry and bitchy whining, plus the little shits where blocking his way to an ice cream van on the other side of the park, and did what any God-Loving patriot would do, proceeding to whip out is Pepper spray can and covered the irritating nerds in liquidized orange pain for the lulz.

Since the incident, Pike has become a forced meme, and every hipster in the universe has applied their brilliant photoshop slillz, cunt and pasting Pike's chillax lulzy strolling onto any random bollocks they can find.

Footage of Pike raping hippie's eyes

IN THE FACE

Fox News coverage

It's super effective!

Faux News understand that this chubby cop was only truly doing his duty in spraying the little jobless bastards, and expressed in utmost sincerity through political pundit Megyn Kelly that they were clearly just being a bunch of whining pussies.

   
“ 		 
Pepper spray is like a derivitive of real pepper. It's like a food product, essentially
  		„
  		 

—

.

Of course most other news coverage spoke of this beautiful cop hero as though he is some sort of villain, despite being an astute defender of lulz and our right to walk through a park. Some even insinuated that the unwashed uni nerds were not explicitly asking for it, which they clearly were, normal citizens need to walk their dog dammit.

Butthurt Anonymous

Among the many people that were buttpained about Jonny-boy's appropriate use of force was anonymous, 13-year-olds everywhere switched on their screechy, lame voice synthesizers, focusing all the nerd rage they could into jewtube videos, stating that the whole situation is srs business. And the selective vigilantism did in fact work, because John's dox where thereafter posted.


Analhurt Anonymous


Man that synthesizer makes him sound so cool

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See Also

External Links

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