Men

OFFICIAL MAN THEME SONG

Typical man

Going about his daily chores

Men are great hairy piles of lust and rage, the war-mongering rapist-in-waiting, these chunks of unbridled muscle run the world with a sadistic smile. They shoot their guns and smoke their cigars with giant protruding erections, stopping only occasionally rape and pillage your mom.

Although this is not always the case, as some men have no true masculinity, creating the many dreaded subspecies of men, see: Homosexual, Basement Dweller, Transvestite, Chris-Chan, you and so on. Their true "man" spirit is diminished and they wander the world as irritating flamboyant husks while the wimmins laugh and pity them. Men tend to come in many shapes and sizes, but one lingering aspect that connects them all is their luscious dongs. Floppy tools of the secks variety that supply the common man with his seemingly unlimited supply of unwarranted self-importance, if said appendage is removed it nearly always transforms the man into a blubbering suicidal wreck. Therefore a handy way to deal with them.

The State Of Men

The common male generally consists of pathetic balls of whimpering cowardice that hover on the sidelines, while the real manly men play a good hard game of handegg. These other men sit on the bench painting their nails, considering that operation, or get fat, whilst the real deal d00ds are out on the field rubbing their testicles in the dirt.

These testicle rubbers are also a sad example of humanity. Drooling neanderthals that woop and holler at the sight of an x bawks, some pizza and a keg. More commonly known as the Douchebag, these sad sacks of walking degeneration have passed their glory days of date-raping high school girls while they flunk off class, now working as your regular gas attendant or McDonalds drive-through server. They spend their free time having sweaty greased up sexy time with their "bros" muttering the occasional no homo to ward off depression.

There are also many other male specimens that trawl across the interbutts, jizzing in the tubes. For example,The Nerds, who spend their time relentlessly slobbering over shit no one cares about all the while slowly getting more and more pasty, chubby, and dead inside. Also the well known and revered Faggots, who were once so manly that they went full circle and now want cock in their arse. And of course The Escapists, also known as the traps, transvestites or Dickgirls, who have completely shat out all manly manliness from their brain and simply wish to be the little girl.

A List Of Some Notable Men

• Grinman
• Duke Nukem
• Mario
• Jesus
• God
• Weev

In fact, nearly anyone notable evar is a man. Or at least a man in spirit.