Heino Hijinks

Heino IRL

Imagine a game made by a stoner who could barely operate a computer. Now imagine it with shitty 80's arcade style graphics and throw in lots of random crap about 9/11 and sentient planes, and what you have is Heino Hijinks.

Made on the RPG Maker, this awful 'game' was made and then forgotten about by everyone, until it was posted on /b/, in the countdown to 9/11.

The Plot

State of the art graphics for 1992!

Heino Hijinks is about some guy called Heino (who is an actual guy lol) who is at a piano, when suddenly some guy called 'American' walks in and Heino goes apeshit and demands why American has dared to enter his castle. American then starts telling Heino about how two planes in 'New York Airport' have become sentient beings, and are threatening to crash into the twin towers, which have also become sentient beings. Then the two get on a plane, which somehow becomes alive and you have to fight it while actually on the plane. After this, you are transported to New York, which must be a codeword for a crappy looking village with one building. Then, you go to the end of the map and find an airport. The planes inside give you a choice, either join them, or go against them. The twin towers are sitting in the corner, begging you to save them. If you choose to save the towers, you fight the planes, and after getting thanked by the towers, you are transported to some room, and Barack Obama steps down from presidency, and declares Heino the new president of America. Everyone is just thrilled. Then, you are transported back to the main map, a few more buildings have been built, and everyone calls you 'President Heino'. Congratulations.

Note: If you choose to go with the planes, you fight the twin towers, 'President Plane' steps down and hands the presidency to you. Then, you are transported to the main map and everyone has been transformed into planes and other random shit.

Quotes

• These two planes, were made far far away. In a land where people blow each other up for fun. They hate anything normal and American. Like us.
• Barack Obama: I knew you would come through for us Heino. This is why I shall give you my presidency.
• I shall not allow you to attack my plane brethren!
• Russian: I am from Russia.
• Twin Tower: Please help us!
• Thank you for helping us, President Heino!

Facts

• Heino is some singer no one's even heard of since WWII.
• Heino is from Germany and therefore not eligible to be the president of the United States. Ever.
• Obama wasn't even president during 9/11.
• And why are the planes and twin towers all the same size as the people anyway?
• This game was made using the old OLD outdated version of RPG Maker.
• Planes can become living creatures.
• So can boats.
• And buildings.
• There is some shitty maze thing in the game, that even a three year old could beat.
• There is also a whole room (called the FBI base), in which parts of things move around aimlessly.
• Try going up to random objects like pianos and mirrors and press enter.

Gallery

• 
  The original picture from /b/
• 
  The infamous start screen.
• 
  Furfaggotry in the game.
• 
  wat

See Also

• RPG Maker

• Super Columbine Massacre RPG

• The Empire of Arkantos

• what

External Links

• Heino Hijinks
• Same as above
• Heino IRL