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Nef Quintero: Difference between revisions
imported>Mantequilla I am seriously fucking sick of you guys |
imported>TylerRosenow re-writing, re-formatting. part uno |
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[[File:Nef_Quintero_-_Main_-_Grouchy_Quintero.png|thumb|300px|<center>Grouchy Nef Will Kick Your Ass!</center>]] | [[File:Nef_Quintero_-_Main_-_Grouchy_Quintero.png|thumb|300px|<center>Grouchy Nef Will Kick Your Ass!</center>]] | ||
[[File:Nef_Quintero_-_Main_-_NEF_SUPERSTAR.png|thumb|300px|<center>The Poster Child For Unwarranted Self Importance</center>]] | [[File:Nef_Quintero_-_Main_-_NEF_SUPERSTAR.png|thumb|300px|<center>The Poster Child For Unwarranted Self Importance</center>]] | ||
[[File: | |||
[[File:Nef Quintero.JPG|center|frame|Nef Quintero in a nutshell.]] | |||
The mind of '''Nef Quintero''' is your typical Generation Barney clusterfuck. Back in the 1990s [[Bill Clinton|the government]] decided they could no longer flunk kids anymore, as it might damage their [[pussy|incredibly fragile self-esteem]]. As such, schoolteachers started handing out good grades for having a sunny disposition and a [[Cock Mongler|shit-eating grin]]. This resulted in an [[bronies|entire generation of fuck-ups]] who think that they can never fail at anything and that they're always the absolute bestest, most unique little snowflake in all the world... which goes a long way in explaining why despite the fact that he's [[teenager|19 years old]] he still acts very much like a prepubescent tweenage muppet fuck. It also explains his completely random capitalization of words as well as his ongoing rape of the English language. | |||
==The Life An Elite Hacker== | ==The Life An Elite Hacker== | ||
As with so many [[l33t]] [[hackers]] you read about on [[ED]], any [[masturbation|positive aspects]] about Nef's life at home entirely the creation of his own mind. He describes his family as being a bunch of alcoholic drug addicts, which was likely a contributing factor in his overall mental amputation. He has no real friends to speak of, not even on the Internet. On his [[Twitter]] account you'll find he's friends with a few bot-operated spam whores as well as a number of different pop retail chain stores like Starbucks and Versace. A few times he's attempted to claim that he has a [[imaginary|girlfriend]], which is always followed by a desperate over compensating claim of sexual contact. When pressed for more information about her he'll just ignore you and pretend he never said anything about it in the first place. The saddest part is he apparently hasn't even come up with a name for his imaginary whack off fantasy. | |||
Nef spends most of his time doing the most incredibly boring and mundane things imaginable, with a significant portion of his time hanging out at Starbucks for hours on end whilst pretending to have engaging texting chats with his hundreds of Internet admirers. In reality he's constantly sending banally raped status updates to his Twitter account, describing everything from how he likes food to how his morning shower went. With of course no one actually replying or even reading any of his ongoing retardation. | Nef spends most of his time doing the most incredibly boring and mundane things imaginable, with a significant portion of his time hanging out at Starbucks for hours on end whilst pretending to have engaging texting chats with his hundreds of Internet admirers. In reality he's constantly sending banally raped status updates to his Twitter account, describing everything from how he likes food to how his morning shower went. With of course no one actually replying or even reading any of his ongoing retardation. | ||
Revision as of 05:45, 12 January 2012
The mind of Nef Quintero is your typical Generation Barney clusterfuck. Back in the 1990s the government decided they could no longer flunk kids anymore, as it might damage their incredibly fragile self-esteem. As such, schoolteachers started handing out good grades for having a sunny disposition and a shit-eating grin. This resulted in an entire generation of fuck-ups who think that they can never fail at anything and that they're always the absolute bestest, most unique little snowflake in all the world... which goes a long way in explaining why despite the fact that he's 19 years old he still acts very much like a prepubescent tweenage muppet fuck. It also explains his completely random capitalization of words as well as his ongoing rape of the English language.
The Life An Elite Hacker
As with so many l33t hackers you read about on ED, any positive aspects about Nef's life at home entirely the creation of his own mind. He describes his family as being a bunch of alcoholic drug addicts, which was likely a contributing factor in his overall mental amputation. He has no real friends to speak of, not even on the Internet. On his Twitter account you'll find he's friends with a few bot-operated spam whores as well as a number of different pop retail chain stores like Starbucks and Versace. A few times he's attempted to claim that he has a girlfriend, which is always followed by a desperate over compensating claim of sexual contact. When pressed for more information about her he'll just ignore you and pretend he never said anything about it in the first place. The saddest part is he apparently hasn't even come up with a name for his imaginary whack off fantasy.
Nef spends most of his time doing the most incredibly boring and mundane things imaginable, with a significant portion of his time hanging out at Starbucks for hours on end whilst pretending to have engaging texting chats with his hundreds of Internet admirers. In reality he's constantly sending banally raped status updates to his Twitter account, describing everything from how he likes food to how his morning shower went. With of course no one actually replying or even reading any of his ongoing retardation.
In addition to pretending to have an Internet life within his non-existent real world life, he also constantly tries to portray himself as some kind of technical genius, a regular hacker extraordinaire, yammering on with the most blatant, incoherent techno-babble imaginable. Not since Computer Science III and Ted Stevens has there ever been so much meme potential within one chucklefuck.
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