345rv5

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"personality: clam,collective,knowlegdeable, outspoken and cool."

345rv5 (aka Evan Henry DeSaussure) is an oversensitive tartlet that takes anime shit way too seriously. To him, all the Mario games, Bleach, and Naruto anime are SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS where terrorism, plunder and child abuse take place. On a daily basis he interjects his unwanted opinions in lengthy comments and journals on DeviantART.

Beef with Bowser

345rv5 spends most of his time in his grandmother’s basement where he has made it his life’s mission to flush himself down the toilet to get to the Mushroom Kingdom and rape Peach, but mostly convincing everyone that the Mario games are SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS and if you insist on only seeing a plumber eating mushrooms and jumping on turtles to save the princess YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG AND YOU’RE AN IDIOT. 345rv5 loves doing his lecturing tl;dr while abusing the comma key on his keyboard and masturbating to Princess Peach.

Evan hates Bowser. HATES. He considers him to be THE MOST EVIL "malevloient dictator" of all time equal to SATAN. Evan's also in love with Princess Peach soooooo when other tartlets started pairing Bowser and Peach as a couple he went completely batshit crazy.

His theory is that Bowser is the reincarnation of an ancient powerful demon hence his EVUUUHL ways of tennis playing, and that the magikoopas are a thousand year old cult of evil terrorists. Ironically, while exposing THE TRUTH of the Mario series he continues to draw his Peach fantasies, even if Peach behaving like a slut is completely out of character.

	“	Cruel and ruthless he is a power hungry tyrant who leads violent attacks that threatens the lives of millions he is very cruel and sinister,sadistic,twisted,genocidal,racist,brutal,twisted,and commited numerous crimes such as abduction, theft, robbery, terrorism, abuse, toture,harrassment, blackmail, arson, destruction, numerous attempts of mass murder and genocide, minion facilitation, child endangerment, assault, and even acts such as frame-up, fraud, and identity theft.	„
	—345rv refering to Bowser

Plowing Princess Peach

Most of Evan's DA gallery is dedicated to his sexual feelings for peach. I guess that's why he hates Bowser so much since he's always being mean to his waifu. Imagining a fat Italian Plumber's sexual relationship isn't weird at all. neither is thinking about a fictional cartoon princess sexually. Not creepy or weird at all. I'm sure everyone imagines their favorite character from childhood fucking them.

http://fav.me/d21824e "Devil in her Bed by 345rv5"

	“	...this is the side of peach only mario got to see.that devilish form of peach is a manifestation of her repressed sexual nature. look how aroused she looks in this picture.this seems like peach's real naughty side.each is the combination of both.like ludacris once said.peach is a lady in the street but a freak in the bed.peach isn't really the devil.she's pure hearted.that this was a sex reference implying a healthy sexual relationship between mario and peach.it's natural for people to keep their love life private.who knew peach loved roleplaying and BDSM?well when she's with Mario alone in private.she turns from innocent young woman to a devilish,naughty sex freak.	„
	—345rv5's description

	“	no man will be able to resist her,she will cause married men to cheat on their wives with her,turn gay men straight,turn women into lesbians,turn transsexuals back to the way they were born,turn boys into men and even her family members into her lovers.	„
	—Evan enjoys incest too.

Welcum to Evan's sick Peach fetish Rule34 DeviantART Gallery

About missing Pics

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  Peach in a bathtub filled with shit. Mario cumming. link
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  Peach's misshapen ass. 345rv5's gonna fill her hole.
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  Peach and Mario orgasming. Fukken gross.

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Other Cartoon girls Evan DeSaussure gets off to

You sick fuck. *Actual list. Typos Included.

• tsundane
• princess zelda
• jean grey
• strom
• she-hulk
• wonder woman
• princess daisy
• samus aran
• chun il
• anroid 18
• rukia
• chi chi,bluma"

Anddddddd any other animated non existent female he can get his hands on. Real girls are ew pig disgusting.

Bleachtarded Bitches

Last thursday, 345rv5 posted a new DA journal entitled "Arrnacar Fighter is a Bleachtarded bitch " about a tartlet that dared to say his favorite Naruto character would loose in a match against some other gay Bleach character.

He starts off by complimenting the guy, saying "he's a pretty good artist" but by the end he's so pissed he calls him "second rate" and a "10 year old girl" which ironically, is the only one 345rv5 could manage to offend with with such MEEN words.

The incident took place over this shitty animu picture where 345rv5 literally responded to every comment on every page with a lengthy bible length post on why his favorite naruto character is the strongest. Like a true autistic, most of these replies were completely unwarranted. At one point he was literally trying to argue with someone who actually shared his point of view. Proving once again, that 345rv5 is a complete social failure incapable of even basic human communication skills. This is not the first time he's done this either. He's tried several times to win arguments on the internet centered around hypothetical non existent anime super heroes.

Fun Facts & Misc gay shit

• 345rv5 / Evan is dirty mix of Black and Hispanic.
• He constantly bitches about Naturo and Bleach but reads the new chapters religiously.
• Reads fanfics all day everyday. Also, writes them
• Uses the words EPIC and FAIL nonstop and finds them humorous. EPICruto and FAILREACH LOLOLOL
• Claims that "Obama really is a secret Nazi" and blames him for any and all problems.

Mariowiki Faggotry

Not even tartlets could take such a fucking ridiculous statement over Bowser seriously so 345rv5 attempted to take it up with the neckbeard gamers by vandelizing the Bowser Mariowiki page. Looks like even fat fuck gamers don't give two shits about his opinions on Bowser and to Evan's surprise, didn't take them as fact either. HOW DARE THEY not see Bowser as a remorseless and diabolical monster, incapable of loving, who instills fear !!!

Drama ensues between 345rv and some fag on the Bowser article's talk page

About missing Pics

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Caps

About missing Pics

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  The way 345rv5 sees Super Mario
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  Reality check for who?
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  Bowser = Dick Cheney.
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  Bowser is an otherkin!!!

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  HE'S A TERRORIST!
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  Did Bowser kick his dog or something?
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  BAAAAAWWW
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  Mario fans agree he has issues
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  345rv5 expresses his love for tl;dr by tracing and making a long description of things everyone already fucking knows about - in shitty grammar.
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  The Shadow Queen is yet another victim of 345rv5's faggotry.
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  These things actually happen in Mario games.
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  More lulzing regarding 345rv5's lack of life
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  345rv5 manages to come across as an attention whore and an arrogant bastard. BTW welcome to DevianTART.
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  ... Srsly.

External Links

• 345rv5 on DevianTART
• Satanic Bowser Rant on DA
• "Arrnacar Fighter is a Bleachtarded bitch" Journal
• The longest animu internet fight
• 345rv5's Facebook
• Brother's DeviantART

See Also

• Waluigis-girl
• Mario
• Nintendo
• fantard

345rv5 is part of a series on DeviantART Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage.