Fat Acceptance Movement: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 00:55, 21 June 2012

This article needs a serious clean up

Fat Acceptance Movement looks like it was written by pseudo-intellectual 13-year-old boys.
Look out for unfunny Uncyclopedia bullshit, boring in-jokes, and angsty teen-ery.

You could also add in actual humor.

Fat Acceptance is a movement where Big Blubberful Whales are trying to "redefine the standard of beauty" to include themselves. PROTIP: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you have to write over 9000 blog articles trying to argue people into finding you attractive, you are not beautiful.

100% of the Fat Acceptance Movement is women. This is because a dude will usually be honest about the fact that he's a fat fuck because he really likes food. Fat bitches, on the other hand, have convinced themselves that they are mysterious creatures who nibble delicately on salads and only weigh 250 lb due to genetics.

For a clue as to what is making the fat people fat, go down the mall. Look around. Pick out the fat people. Now then: what are they all doing? Yep. That's what's causing it.

The Fatosphere

Fatties word for the internet is the "fatosphere" which is where morbidly obese women are able to engage in "activism" while stuffing their face with Twinkies in front of their computer.

Shakesville

Shakesville has branched out from being a rape fetishism site into a fat fetishism site. It is run by the 300 lb hambeast Melissa McEwan, who despite admitting that she has to eat something every hour or else she is ravenously hungry, claims that she is only fat because of genetics and that any form of diet or exercise to lose weight would be akin to an eating disorder. Seriously.

Shakesville refers to fatties as "fatstronauts" because she is a dumb bitch who confuses "astronauts" who are weightless in space, with "planets" which, like herself, are large round heavy objects that are so massive they have their own field of gravity. Her Fatstronauts 101 posts are designed to dispel myths about fat people, such as the fact that fat people eat a lot of food, or the fact that fat people are ugly.

	“	"My reality is more like 1800-2200 calories a day, and yet, I'm about 190 pounds. Somehow, I think that's got more to do with three years on hormonal contraceptives that I turned out to be allergic to (hello, fifty pounds!) added to having grown up with serious food insecurity and a body that is afraid food might become scarce again in the future than with the amount I actually eat "	„
	—Teaspoon, a Shakesville commenter, who doesn't realize she is fat because she eats 2200 fucking calories a day.

Fat Heffalump

Fat Heffalump is a morbidly obese blogger who likes to think that she is a model. A self-titled "Agent of Obesity," she is constantly mad about everything and likes to wear tight clothes in really bright colors to flaunt her ugliness in people's faces.

Fat Heffalump also created stockybodies.com which is just a website with pictures of morbidly obese people. Since she is an attention whore, most of the pictures are of herself.

	“	"The thing is, this fat activism business is not a hobby I do just to fill my time. It is my fight to live. It is my fight to keep my self esteem and not be completely crushed by the hatred that is spewed in my direction for simply living in a fat body. It is my fight claim the space I need to live my life to the fullest with whatever cards I am dealt in life. I don’t do this because I need to fill time and enjoy it – I do this to keep myself strong, healthy, happy and alive. The alternative to my being a fat activist was crippling depression and absolutely no self esteem, which led to my attempting to end my life on more than one occasion."	„
	—Fat Heffalump is as incompetent at suicide as she is at weight loss. Not surprising.

Like all dumb fat bitches on the internet, she has a nazi commenting policy where anything that might hurt her cholesterol-laden feelings will be instantly deleted. However she also threatens that anyone who leaves a "hateful" message will have their dox published on her website. Since nobody is listed, it's possible that nobody has ever left her any negative comments. But it's more likely that she's just too dumb to copypaste information that wordpress gives her.

Marianne Kirby

Marianne Kirby who calls herself "The Rotund" is a well known fat activist who writes pro-fat articles for actual websites in addition to running her own blog. Naturally she likes to post pictures of herself in all her glorious fatness.

Sizeism

When their mouths are not filled with food, fat people often complain that they are being discriminated against. The fat mentality is that it's OK to weigh a metric ton and that it's the skinny population's fault that being a gargantuan lardass is perceived as bad. Sizeism is supposedly a form of prejudice - believing that people are fat because they eat too much, in the same way that it's sexist to refer to a woman as "she".

Ironically fat people often complain that society is too obsessed with weight while bitching about how disgusting skinny or even healthy-sized people are in comparison to their own rolls of sweaty disgusting fat.

NAAFA

National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance is a group that hopes that one day all people will be accepted no matter what sizes they are. This includes people who weigh half a metric ton and have to be washed by their children three times a day while they wait for their gastric bypass surgery. Strangely some people see this as a bad thing.

However in order to combat prejudice they must prove that all thin people are prejudice. Those who count as thin include anorexics, bulimics, your dick or anyone within the normal weight range and those who weigh less than a John Deere tractor.

There are many misconceptions about fat people. NAAFA's guidelines will help you to dispel these myths:

FACT: It is literally impossible to lose weight.
FACT: Educating people about their health never works. We must force others to accept us.
FACT: Dieting is useless. The only solution is to eat more.
FACT: Fat people are not responsible for their weight.

The above is proof to what normal people have always believed - that excess fat stops the brain from working.

NAFAM

New American Fat Acceptance Movement is the next phase in fat acceptance. The days of justifying our fatness by lying and saying we have a mysterious genetic or metabolic disorder are over. We now freely admit to and embrace what the fat haters would call gluttony. We fatlings are no longer apologists for our size nor our greedy gluttony. We are fat because we eat huge amounts of food and we like it. If you don't like it get used to it because fat people are now the overwhelming majority. Gluttony is good. http://biggerfatterblog.blogspot.com/2010/08/obesity-and-gluttony-is-good-for-your.html Anything else would be unAmerican.

SPECIAL MENTION: Wall • E

One of the most successful Disney / Pixar movies, Wall • E, showed a futuristic world where humans have become helpless blobs due to their dependency on machines and overindulgence. At the end of the movie the humans return to Earth, gradually becoming healthier and making the planet green again. Naturally the fatties had a problem with this.

“	The real truth is that people just don't care that others are being discriminated against, as long as it's not directed their way. They don't - or won't - see how such stereotypes harm both fat and thin people, and contribute to an environment where a recent study of teen girls reveals they'd rather be blinded or lose a limb instead of becoming fat.	„
—Strangely enough this person never actually saw the movie.

Videos

“	omg you people it had nothing to do with her parents so you are saying that my mom had trouble with me and my brother? yes he got VERY big and unfortunately died :( but my mom fed us vegetables fruit and we were always outside! there is nothing you can do with some people!	„
—YouTube user

This is a Lie, and little Jessica Leonard (once the world's fattest child) is the proof:

You would hit that.

"You know, all parents make mistakes". Words just fail you, don't they?

A Breakthrough in the Understanding of Obesity

File:ProForm-780-CSE-Elliptical-Trainer-297x300.jpg

Not just an overpriced drying rack!

“	Let's just say that yeah, it's a horrible thing that we're forcing you to take extreme measures to drop the gallons of blubber that you brought upon yourself, but could we be subconsciously doing you a favor? Would you rather spend the rest of your miserable ten or so years of life being wedged in small chairs that aren't meant to cater to your fat, pustulent ass, sucking down concentrated fat by the truckload until your arteries harden, absorbing wading-pools full of gravy through your vast amounts of skin, and praying to Jesus that it will someday rain melted butter before you're forklifted out of your house through the removed front wall onto three stretchers, and riding an ambulance on its axles to a hospital where they can't give you that dire quadruple bypass because there's too much goddamned adipose tissue for any normal human being's arms to even reach through even if he could find your bloated, flabby heart? Here's your incentive, fatasses. Drop the fork and get on the treadmill. Stop kidding yourself into thinking it's OUR fault that you're a repulsive sack of fat. It's your fault that you decided it proper to waste your entire 20 years of life dedicating yourself to wrecking your body and our eyesight.	„
—If only they could hear him over the sound of munching cheetos.

External Links

Fat acceptance

A thread discussing the horrors of making our children exercise

A breath of sanity

You're Fat Because You're Stupid

YouTube fatties

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Fat Acceptance Movement: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 00:55, 21 June 2012

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