Jameth

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Jameth, also known as Faggeth, is a big LiveJournal homosexual. He is a member of the original LJDrama circlejerk, where his Internet notoriety originates. He commands the drama yacht, and is well known for his unwarranted self-importance.

Jameth and Poko Ono

History and Pronunciation

Thanks, Wikipedia

The nickname originated sometime in early 2001 when James (his real name, the -th suffix being a pun on his faggotry and his small p3n0r) was having a conversation with a lisping homosexual. James was being referred to as Jameth because of the person's speech impediment. In June 2001, James decided to use Jameth as his LiveJournal account name. Don't let him fool you - James craves the cock.

A debate has existed in real life and on the Internets regarding the correct pronunciation of Jameth. The original pronunciation was one syllable.

• Exercise: Try holding your tongue and saying "James" to hear exactly how it was first pronounced.

The pronunciation of the word has morphed throughout the years into the two syllable (and most commonly used) form Jay-meth. Both forms are acceptable; however, you will probably be laughed out of any social situation if you do not pronounce it with two syllables. But chance are, if you are talking IRL about Jameth, then social standing probably doesn't matter too much to you.

The rest of us pronounce "Jameth" simply by using the form, "Faggot."

The Four Five Six Seven Eight Stages of Jameth

His LiveJournal has gone through four five six seven eight main stages that can be loosely classified as:

The Homo Normative (late 2001 - mid 2002)

• Jameth has relationship problems, Jameth goes to school, Jameth has breakfast, Jameth plays with his cats, Jameth has friends.
• Total LiveJournal friends: 20
• Sample posts from this period:
  • I have nothing to report. Except for..it might snow tomorrow morning!@#! YAY! The ONE day I have to wake up and be downtown by 7:30! and i'm not tired either..sigh
  • i purchased a pumpkin but now I'm not sure what to do with it.
  • I haven't had an erection ever since i was food poisoned on Saturday night. i have lost all desire for booty.

Jameth and Porsche

The Absent (mid 2002 - mid 2003)

• Often hailed by longtime Jameth supporters and fans as his best period, this is when Jameth posts once a month and goes through a personal crisis when his ex-boyfriend stalks him and he takes only 8,999 pictures a day. Jameth considers converting to Buddhism but realizes that there really aren't that many abusive Buddhist fags.
• Jameth's LiveJournal friends list increases significantly (~300 "Friend-of") due to his enrollment at the University of Washington, alma mater of Brad Fitzpatrick (creator of LiveJournal).
• Sample posts from this period:
  • dictionary.com is down. i am very upset. I'm going to eat lunch and head back to the library to do some reading or something.
  • i have a midterm tomorrow and i still have over a hundred pages to read.
  • i think i'm going to take a shower and then head to campus... i have class until 9pm tonight. ugh.

Example of an image posted by Jameth during the "internet celebrity" period.

The Internet Celebrity (mid 2003 - late 2004)

• While Jameth enjoyed Internet fame before, this period represents his greatest achievements in terms of attention-whoring and blogging infamy. He began with a faked death and soon moved on to leeching image files, often perverted in nature.
• The early Internet Celebrity period is marked by a profusion of LiveJournal phone posts, where henchmen (and some of his enemies) would compete in leaving the most abusive transcriptions on his journal. Jameth would masturbate to them and later post pictures of him ingesting his own semen in various creative ways.
• After LiveJournal Abuse, that bunch of Nazis and hypocritical fucksticks shitstained a whole lot of fine journals into oblivion, Jameth started comment whoring and would average over nine thousand comments per journal entry. He soon reached the 60,000 mark and started threatening suicide. When nobody cared (except for Quasidan), he condemned the world Jewry as being conspirators in a grand plan to overthrow the fags rule in Seattle and began taking pictures of his cats.
• Friends list explosion occurs in early 2004 due to association with LJ Drama and major events related to that site (see Mediacrat) as well as various run-ins with the LiveJournal Abuse Team. Jameth's "Friend-of" count on LiveJournal is pushed over 500.
• Sample posts from this period:
  • Ugh, the internet sucks tonight. I'm going to bed.
  • lol what
  • 28th post for today. i think that's a record! I'm going to bed. goodnight, internets!

One of the first images featured on Lulz News Network after moving away from LiveJournal.

The Defunct (late 2004 - early 2005)

• After numerous encounters with the LiveJournal Abuse Team and incessant bitching about the DMCA, Jameth decides that it's time to pack his bags and leave LiveJournal for good. He sets up camp over at Lulz News Network.
• Jameth continues to loiter and post random memes in his journal and also makes rare community posts that always exceed 50 comments.
• 'Friend-of' count hovers somewhere around 700 in early December 2004. The LiveJournal syndication feed of Lulz News Network reaches 300+ subscribers within a few days. Lulz News Network receives 30,000 hits within the first ten days of operation.
• Sample posts from this period:
  • I am almost completely fed up with this bullshit.
  • I should eBay the password to my LJ. How much would you pay for it?
  • My cat just puked.

The Emo Camwhore (February 2005 - April 2006)

Jameth, suffering under the power of the emo glasses, goes for a vein like a fatty for powdered donut pancake surprise.

February 21, 2005 was a dark day indeed for these Internets. Like the plot to a bad Corey Feldman movie, Jameth somehow acquired an evil pair of black squarish emo glasses and immediately began posting an extended series of Internet disease photos. He also immediately lost the ability to LJ cut, although he naturally retained the power to upload new userpics. He also caused a great deal of incidental damage (read: chafing in personal areas) to dedicated stalkers and groupies worldwide.

• Sample posts from this period:
  • And on that happy note, I'm off for a sitz bath.
  • Only time will tell what lulz this newest, latest, OMG GRND FLR Jameth will bring.

The Batshit Insane Nutjob (January 2008 - March 2008)

Jameth discovers a broken plastic Alligator head (one of those Gator Golf toys they made in the mid 90's) on a sidewalk. He spends the ensuing days photographing the broken toy in supermarkets, on public transport, and while receiving medical treatment.

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  lol dongs
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• Sample posts from this period:
  • Croc is attempting to reenact a Green Day video.
  • Croc and her team of medical experts are interpreting the results of my gamma camera pictures.
  • Croc and I are watching Price is Right.

Muni Hot or Not of the now (March 2008 - Now)

Jameth comes up with this idea of photographing random people and asking LiveJournal to rate them from 0-10 at least 100 times.

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Eventually some crazy-ass nigra said no to Jameth's faggotry.[1]

• Sample posts from this period:
  • Plz rate 0-10
  • Rate 0-10
  • Rate 0-10

The IRL Celebrity

Trillian exposes the awful truth.

Being featured in The New York Times, Jameth's fame has officially expanded beyond the Internets. Hookers and blow are expected to follow. This period has also seen the best drama since the days of Mediacrat.

It should be noted that no-one outside of a few LiveJournal communities knows who Jameth is or even cares that he has two cats. While moar people know the names of internet personalities Jimbo Wales and CmdrTaco, Jameth carves out his niche by brushing his teeth and not molesting children.

Personal

Jameth has one cat, Poko Ono (a previous cat, Porsche, died in November 2005 aged 19). Poko is cute, but one fears that if animals have souls, Poko Ono may be doomed to Hell for association with such a stridently raucous gay.

IMPORTANT CAT-RELATED UPDATE: Jameth has recently obtained an additional blackNigger cat, securing his fame as owner of Two Cats.

It is rumoard that Jameth has leprosy, but the rumors are unclear and originate from Jameth's nemesis Futhman.

Jameth also has a sister on LJ with an Ann Coulter complex, Jacqueline1776. It is unknown if their parents are aware of their children's internet infamy, or where they went wrong.

Jameth parades his homosexuality as if it were a banner of pride, but within that pride lies the shame of disease and cockmongering. Jameth is an attention whore of the worst possible kind: just as his flea-blown, wart-infested anus gapes like that of the goatse man when he is begging for sodomy from strangers with pool cues, so do his multiple journals scream LOOK AT ME in the time-honored shameless tradition of LiveJournal.

Friends

Typical IRL friend of Jameth.

Jameth is surrounded at all times by a changing rotation of henchmen, well-wishers, online stalkers and, occasionally, a Libertarian sister wooing the LiveJournal homosexual ballot. Whereas Jameth is sometimes intelligent or at least admits to his pathetic need for gobs of semen, penile (or rather, phallic) insertions and male affection, his henchmen are usually deluded freaks whose motivations range from jumping on the latest internet trends to merely seeking anonymous faggot-sex.

No wait, he has no friends.

Troll

Reportedly Jameth does not have time to troll, what with taking care of his gazillion cats, and juggling his hectic gay lifestyle - but rumor has it that he is also known as Jason916[2]

Jameth/Weev Mpreg fanfic

"What should we name him?" jameth asked, rubbing his hands over weev's hairy pregnant belly. The body was lean and skinny in every area except his stomach, which protruded out like a fat round otter. The bulbous orb was beautiful.

"Let's call him Weemeth," the pregnant troll said, noticing the instant approval in his lover's eyes, which shimmered with desire that only weev could read. The birth was next week, and both knew what had to be done before then.

"Go ahead. Break him in."

jameth wasted no time in placing both hands on weev's stomach for support. He pushed his cock inside of the warm belly button, penetrating until he felt a pair of tiny hands grip onto his mushroom. A pair of little lips soon followed.

"He's sucking! I feel him sucking!" jameth groaned while thrusting in and out of his unborn spawn's mouth. The fetus had thick luscious lips like his father, its tiny tongue working the holem. The pleasure was intense. jameth arced his back and let his tongue roll out the corner of his mouth as he vibrated like a happy retard.

"Don't pull out! Skeet all over him! SKEET ALL OVER HIM!" weev yelled, bitch slapping his husband repeatedly until tears welled up in his eyes. He wanted to lick the tears, and coddle him, and tell him it would be alright, but the belly between them was too much.

jameth cried out and ejaculated all over the fetus, raining his sperm down across its swollen alien head. He felt Weemeth bathe in his brothers and sisters, expressing dominance over them. jameth pulled out without a drop wasted.

"Little weemeth is going to be such a cum slut," weev stated proudly.

Courtesy of kevar.

Note: If you actually read that, eyebleach immediately.

Other

kiss

• His PR manager is Scarlet. Please direct all fan mail, eel girl transcription requests, lollercaust reports and other misc. drama to her.
• Jameth is currently linked to hep on the internet sexchart due to the infamous LJDrama kiss.
• Likes to mail shit via UPS.
• Lulz News Network
• Married
• Jameth Effect
• Allegations that Frienditto ate Jameth's baby circulate the internets; only believed by idiots.
• ROFL.
• Has a Flickr account

Featured article December 12, 2006
Preceded by Mediacrat	Jameth	Succeeded by Slander, Slander Salamander