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Fellatio: Difference between revisions

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{{clear}}
{{clear}}
[[Image:Suckifatdick.jpg|thumb|left]]
[[Image:006-3-dildo-monster.jpg|thumb|Might need a few moar mouths for this one.]]
[[Image:Taking good care of a penis.jpg|thumb|right|Best fellatio is [[kawaii]] fellatio! :3]]
[[Image:Horny Panties.PNG|thumb|right|That's one pair of horny underpants.]]
[[File:Mouth fuck robot.jpg|thumb|Hey Ladies!]]


{{quote2|I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.|J. Edgar Hoover}}
{{quote2|I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.|J. Edgar Hoover}}


[[File:Blowjobs prevent cancer.jpg|thumb|right|[[Some argue]] that [[fact|swallowing may prevent breast cancer.]]]]
[[File:Blowjobs prevent cancer.jpg|thumb|right|[[Some argue]] that [[fact|swallowing may prevent breast cancer.]]]]
The opposite of [[anal sex]]. Fellatio is a Latin word, which means "the act of [[cockmongler|sucking cock]]".
The opposite of [[anal sex]]. Fellatio is a Latin word, which means "the act of [[cockmongler|sucking cock]]". [[Your Mom]] does this ''really well'', but your dad needs more practice.
[[Image:Dorian-thorn-sucking-cocks.jpg|thumb|right|[[Dorian Thorn]] has sucked ALL the cocks.]]
[[Image:Horny Panties.PNG|thumb|right|That's one pair of horny underpants.]]
[[Image:Likc.jpg|thumb|lower left|Suck cock Nao!]]
[[Your Mom]] does this ''really well'', but your dad needs more practice.
[[Image:DoingItWrongBJ.jpg|thumb|Fellatio done [[doing it wrong|wrong]]]]
[[Image:Skullfuckwrong.jpg|thumb|Fellatio done [[doing it wrong|right]]]]
[[Image:Cocknose.jpg|thumb|Forcing [[retard]]s into oral isn't [[doing it wrong|wrong]] in some [[Israel|countries]].]]


[[Image:006-3-dildo-monster.jpg|thumb|Might need a few moar mouths for this one.]]
It's also A character in William [[Shakespeare]]'s ''The Tempest''. Not to be confused with Bond villain henchman, Oddjob (unless that was one of those "odd jobs" he was named after).
[[Image:Tongueskills.gif|thumb|right|A future fellatrix training]]
[[Image:Blowjo.jpg|thumb|A very good bj.]]
[[Image:Cucumber Fellatio.jpg|thumb|Jack and Janet fellate a cucumber in this remake of Three's Company.]]
[[Image:Claudia thorn cock gag.jpg|thumb|[[Dorian Thorn|Claudia Thorn]] maintains she is NOT a trashy cockwhore.]]
[[Image:Dalefellatio.png|thumb|[[King of the Hill]] [[doing it wrong|DOING IT WRONG]]. But that's no surprise, [[amirite]]?]]
[[Image:Sisterhelp.jpg|thumb|Dirty [[cockmongler|bitches]] love cock.]]
[[Image:Blowjob.jpg|thumb|'''BLOWJORB''']]
[[Image:Suckmycock.jpg|thumb|Lol, [[TOW]].]]
[[Image:Kosher_fellatio.jpg|thumb|Jew blowjob.]]


[[Texas]] [[Republicans]] have introduced a law to outlaw gay sex and sodomy.  Problem is, sodomy includes fellatio and therefore all blowjobs would be illegal in Texas which ironically would make Texas the gayest state in the Union. 
==Technique==
==Technique==
''Explanation on how to get head--written by the [[expert]]!''
''Explanation on how to get head--written by the [[expert]]!''
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==Slang==
==Slang==
[[Image:Cooldudeirl2.jpg|thumb|Getting a blowjob is also known as "Cash"]]
[[Image:Cooldudeirl2.jpg|thumb|Getting a blowjob is also known as "Cash"]]
[[Image:Suckskull.gif|thumb|This is what's really going on during a blowjob.]]
[[Image:1blowjob-1-.jpg|thumb|This is what's really going on during a deepthroat.]]
[[Image:Misty Deepthroat.jpg|thumb|[[WWOEC|Artist depiction of cartoon deepthroat.]]]]
''Fellatio is the medical term--what are kids using on the street?''
''Fellatio is the medical term--what are kids using on the street?''
*[[Lulz]]ing balls
*[[Lulz]]ing balls
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*Getting your dick sucked by your mom you fucking [[fruit]]
*Getting your dick sucked by your mom you fucking [[fruit]]
*[[Chookling]] mah [[13 year old boy|playmates]]- See [[Didaskalos]]
*[[Chookling]] mah [[13 year old boy|playmates]]- See [[Didaskalos]]
*Drinking from the [[Cock|Garden Hose]]
*Sucking Sausage
*"[[:Image:Cooldudeirl.jpg|Shit was SO cash]]"
*"[[:Image:Cooldudeirl.jpg|Shit was SO cash]]"
==Also==
A character in William [[Shakespeare]]'s ''The Tempest''. Not to be confused with Bond villain henchman, Oddjob (unless that was one of those "odd jobs" he was named after).
[[Texas]] [[Republicans]] have introduced a law to outlaw gay sex and sodomy.  Problem is, sodomy includes fellatio and therefore all blowjobs would be illegal in Texas which ironically would make Texas the gayest state in the Union. 


==Benefits for Women==
==Benefits for Women==
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==Successful Blowjobs==
==Successful Blowjobs==
[http://www.xgentube.com/video/9814/German-bathroom-blowjob-creampie-from-Share-Adult/ German bathroom blowjob]<br>
{{cg||Blow Job Success!|center|<gallery>
[http://analsixxdoesntcount.tumblr.com/ Brittany Sixx Blowjob]
Image:Taking good care of a penis.jpg|Best fellatio is [[kawaii]] fellatio! :3
<gallery>
Image:Dorian-thorn-sucking-cocks.jpg|[[Dorian Thorn]] has sucked ALL the cocks.
Image:Mouth Rape.gif|Proper technique
Image:Mouth Rape.gif|Proper technique
Image:Suckifatdick.jpg
Image:Suckskull.gif|This is what's really going on during a blowjob.
Image:Tongueskills.gif|A future fellatrix training
Image:Blowjo.jpg|A very good bj.
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Claudia thorn cock gag.jpg|[[Dorian Thorn|Claudia Thorn]] maintains she is NOT a trashy cockwhore.
Image:Sisterhelp.jpg|Dirty [[cockmongler|bitches]] love cock.
Image:Blowjobgirl.gif|Is she still alive? Hint: It's a trap.
Image:Surprise_facefucking.gif|[[Doing it right]]
Image:Surprise_facefucking.gif|[[Doing it right]]
Image:Blowjobgirl.gif|Is she still alive? Edit: It's a trap.  
Image:1blowjob-1-.jpg|This is what's really going on during a deepthroat.
Image:Misty Deepthroat.jpg|[[WWOEC|Artist depiction of cartoon deepthroat.
Image:Suckmycock.jpg|Lol, [[TOW]].
Image:PukeFromNoseGagBJ.gif|When done properly.
Image:PukeFromNoseGagBJ.gif|When done properly.
Image:Jihad Continues.gif|Delicious!
Image:Jihad Continues.gif|Delicious!
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Image:Nikki_Grind.gif
Image:Nikki_Grind.gif
Image:Gay_suck_773.gif|Obvious gay is Obvious.
Image:Gay_suck_773.gif|Obvious gay is Obvious.
Image:Bj_b.gif|The blowjob...
Image:Bj_a.gif|...and the reward.
Image:Gaymusclebj.gif
Image:Gaymusclebj.gif
Image:Gblow 01.gif|Ben Stiller's only successful movie
Image:Gblow 01.gif|Ben Stiller's only successful movie
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Image:Monkeywiener.jpg|Animals do it [[harder, better, faster, stronger]].
Image:Monkeywiener.jpg|Animals do it [[harder, better, faster, stronger]].
Image:Sick_grandma_sex.jpg|[[lemon party|Grandma NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!]]
Image:Sick_grandma_sex.jpg|[[lemon party|Grandma NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!]]
</gallery>
</gallery>}}
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
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==Failed Blowjobs==
==Failed Blowjobs==
<gallery>
{{cg||Blow Job Fail!|center|<gallery>
Image:Blowjob.jpg|'''BLOWJORB'''
Image:DoingItWrongBJ.jpg
Image:Likc.jpg
Image:Cucumber Fellatio.jpg|Jack and Janet fellate a cucumber in this remake of Three's Company.
Image:Suck11.gif|[[All your base are belong to us|What happen]]
Image:Suck11.gif|[[All your base are belong to us|What happen]]
Image:Crosseyebj.jpg|Cock eyed redefined
Image:Cocknose.jpg|Forcing [[retard]]s into oral isn't [[doing it wrong|wrong]] in some [[Israel|countries]].
Image:Dalefellatio.png|[[King of the Hill]] [[doing it wrong|DOING IT WRONG]]. But that's no surprise, [[amirite]]?
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Skullfuckwrong.jpg|
Image:Kosher_fellatio.jpg|Jew blowjob.
Image:Nose Secks.gif|Stick [[cock]] where?
Image:Nose Secks.gif|Stick [[cock]] where?
Image:Mouth Cum.gif|Textbook example of '''The Volcano'''.
Image:Mouth Cum.gif|Textbook example of '''The Volcano'''.
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File:Seelacanth - Matador vs Minotaur.jpg|Sometimes failed blowjobs can be fatal.
File:Seelacanth - Matador vs Minotaur.jpg|Sometimes failed blowjobs can be fatal.
File:Horn Mouth.jpg|It's like a [[LOL WUT|reverse blowjob]],but it kills you.
File:Horn Mouth.jpg|It's like a [[LOL WUT|reverse blowjob]],but it kills you.
</gallery>
</gallery>}}
 
[[Image:Crosseyebj.jpg|thumb|Cock eyed redefined]]
[[Image:Holly willoughby.jpg|thumb|UK Children's TV presenter Holly Willoughby]]
[[Image:Loloops.gif|thumb|Asking for it....]]


==Blowjobs in Videogames==
==Blowjobs in Videogames==
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<br>
<br>
Yes. You just watched that.
Yes. You just watched that.
==Moar Blowjorbs!==
[[Image:Loloops.gif|thumb|Asking for it....]]
* [http://www.xgentube.com/video/9814/German-bathroom-blowjob-creampie-from-Share-Adult/ German bathroom blowjob]
* [http://analsixxdoesntcount.tumblr.com/ Brittany Sixx Blowjob]
* [http://www.yaptube.com/watch/bar_tender_blow_job.html try here.][http://www.spankwire.com/Blonde-Bartender-Sucks-the-Schlong-TWICE/video111453/ cumshot BONUS!]


==See Also==
==See Also==
*<s>[http://youporn.com/watch/36653 A perfect execution of one]</s> sans cumshot. [http://www.yaptube.com/watch/bar_tender_blow_job.html try here.][http://www.spankwire.com/Blonde-Bartender-Sucks-the-Schlong-TWICE/video111453/ cumshot BONUS!]
[[Image:Holly willoughby.jpg|thumb|UK Children's TV presenter Holly Willoughby]]
*[[Woman]]
*[[Woman]]: Giver of Blojobs
*[[Sex]]: Like a Blowjob with chance of [[breeder|babies]]!
*[[Gay]]: If a guy is doing this to you
** [[No Homo]]: Save against the gay
 
{{sex}}
{{sex}}




[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Sex]]

Revision as of 23:26, 11 December 2012

Might need a few moar mouths for this one.
That's one pair of horny underpants.
Hey Ladies!
   
“ 		 
I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.
  		„
  		 

—J. Edgar Hoover

Some argue that swallowing may prevent breast cancer.

The opposite of anal sex. Fellatio is a Latin word, which means "the act of sucking cock". Your Mom does this really well, but your dad needs more practice.

It's also A character in William Shakespeare's The Tempest. Not to be confused with Bond villain henchman, Oddjob (unless that was one of those "odd jobs" he was named after).

Texas Republicans have introduced a law to outlaw gay sex and sodomy. Problem is, sodomy includes fellatio and therefore all blowjobs would be illegal in Texas which ironically would make Texas the gayest state in the Union.

Technique

Explanation on how to get head--written by the expert!

  1. Get her really drunk
  2. ????
  3. Get her to suck your dick!

The Variation, popular with self injury folk:

  1. While she is sucking, tell her that you will rape her.
  2. She will at this point bite your penis off.
  3. Awesome!.

Gay head

Gay head is different because you do not have to get any girls drunk. All gay men love giving head so you don't have to even worry if you're ugly or have a small hairy cock. Gay men will suck on any cock at any time. This is because if you are gay you can either suck cock or take it up the ass, so gay men don't have many options to choose from.

Autofellatio

Autofellatio is hard to describe, but How to Suck Your Own Dick gives a good guide. Also TOW has a nice image of it, proving that Jimbo Wales is a sick fuck.

Slang

Getting a blowjob is also known as "Cash"

Fellatio is the medical term--what are kids using on the street?

Benefits for Women

Besides being a quicker way to that big promotion, a blowjob has also been shown in various studies to be a more effective way for fat chicks to get laid. Many of these studies were done during the Clinton Administration. For anorexic girls, semen consumption provides assorted proteins and lastly, a forced blowjob makes any women learn her place.

Successful Blowjobs

  • Best fellatio is kawaii fellatio! :3
    Best fellatio is kawaii fellatio! :3
  • Dorian Thorn has sucked ALL the cocks.
    Dorian Thorn has sucked ALL the cocks.
  • Proper technique
    Proper technique
  • This is what's really going on during a blowjob.
    This is what's really going on during a blowjob.
  • A future fellatrix training
    A future fellatrix training
  • A very good bj.
    A very good bj.
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]




Failed Blowjobs

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  • Jew blowjob.
    Jew blowjob.
  • Stick cock where?
    Stick cock where?
  • Textbook example of The Volcano.
    Textbook example of The Volcano.
  • DONT CROSS THE STREAMS!!!!
    DONT CROSS THE STREAMS!!!!
  • National pastime of Japan
    National pastime of Japan
  • JAWSOME! Skeet Sharks!
    JAWSOME! Skeet Sharks!
  • What to do when the bitch fails it
    What to do when the bitch fails it
  • Fellatio done wrong.
    Fellatio done wrong.
  • Don't try it at school, kiddo! (Or at least post it on /b/)
    Don't try it at school, kiddo! (Or at least post it on /b/)
  • those lips aren't just for looks.
    those lips aren't just for looks.
  • Almost but not quite a blowjob. Also, furry.
    Almost but not quite a blowjob. Also, furry.
  • Sometimes failed blowjobs can be fatal.
    Sometimes failed blowjobs can be fatal.
  • It's like a reverse blowjob,but it kills you.
    It's like a reverse blowjob,but it kills you.

Blowjobs in Videogames

  • Looks like Zangief can't swallow all of that.
    Looks like Zangief can't swallow all of that.
  • You go girl!
    You go girl!
  • Complete with squarish cum. See: Gloom
    Complete with squarish cum. See: Gloom

Blowjob on YouTube


Yes. You just watched that.

Moar Blowjorbs!

Asking for it....

See Also

UK Children's TV presenter Holly Willoughby
  • Woman: Giver of Blojobs
  • Sex: Like a Blowjob with chance of babies!
  • Gay: If a guy is doing this to you

Fellatio is part of a series on

Sex

Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage.

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