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Jackass: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 07:17, 1 May 2013
Jackass is a popular children's television series about punching yourself in the nuts while simultaneously shoving fireworks up your ass and driving a golf cart off a skyscraper for the lulz, or at least that is what they and their fanbase claim, when in reality it is something shat out in a futile attempt of reclaiming what little edgyness the old media conglomerate MTV once had in its college years, horribly overcompensating for how hollow and boring they have become in a last ditch effort to stave off their obvious mid-life crisis, and to further advance the Protocols of the Elders of Zion by getting as many idiots as possible to remove themselves from the gene pool in new and hilarious ways, like tweeting a pic of yourself drinking with friends and then immediately slamming your car into a tree and burning alive. Jackass is a prime example of what should be done more often on television.
The show follows the wacky hijinks of personalities like Johnny Knoxville and Bam Margera, two spoiled upper middle class white kids that like to play pranks and "stick it" to "the man" by skateboarding and being all like FUCK YOU and throwin up theyre middl fingr n their lik me cos its liek my parents dnt understand mu and i just listn to CKY all day n nite wit my gf we'r punks n we go2 ht tpc evrdy and if u gt a prblm wit dat u can jus say sumthin 2 mt fce cos ill fk u up kid u dnt evn no m3.
TV Series
Being completely original and witty, MTV signed a bunch of fags to hurt themselves and terrorize the populous. Original episodes are famed for assholery involving simple, cheap stunts. In an early episode, they drop a leaking chemical tank in front of some negroes who in turn panic and sprint away in a lulzy fashion.
While it is true Jackass sold out the second MTV's balls touched their lips, most 13 year old boys have never seen the original seasons (or original Family Guy, South Park, The Simpsons) and base judgments on present-day garbage.
The Movie
The fact that even one person watched this piece of shit is a blight on society.
After making enough cash the producers took it to the next step: a fuckin' movie. This turned out to be a stunt to suck ten bucks from the wallets of gullible parents and teenagers with bad spending habits; Jackass: The Movie was just the TV show on a movie reel.
Attendance increased when it was revealed there was nudity in it but millions were disappointed to find that this nudity was just Steve-O's ass and they were once again forced to search 'nudity' on Google Images.
Duh Sequels
When the dumbed down, bovine, easily amused, masses want more of something without worth or content, Hollywood is happy to provide more of anything that is trending well with consumers. True to form, Jackass was milked for all it's worth. The resulting sequels resulted in moar cock, anus and testicles, leading audiences to question if these movies are ways to show off their junk.
Plagues on Popular Culture
- Watching Steve-O stick a hose in his ass and butt-funnel beer.
- Various other anal insertions, including Bam Margera
AZN Jackasses
Imitators come with some pretty lulzy results.
Ryan Dunn Goof'd
On June 20th 2011, Jackass member Ryan Dunn, in a fit of sheer stupidity tried to recreate the scene from the first Jackass movie where he got an xray after shoving a toy car up his ass. He decided the best way to do this would be to get completely shit faced and then drive his car into a tree at 140 MPH at 3 in the morning. As it turns out, shoving a toy car up your ass is a lot easier and less dangerous than shoving a real car up your ass. As of Last Thursday workers are still picking bits of his beard out of the brush.
Autism
Insensitivity to pain is a common trait in autistics.
See Also
- Teenage Kings of Werribee
- Shaycarl, the children's version
- Faggotry
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