Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

This article needs a serious clean up Somebody should do something about it.

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A DHD

ADHD is a misunderstood disorder that comes in two types. The useless type is where this article focuses on. If you want more information on the tard type just go to 4chan for enough IRL examples.

ADHD is sometimes accompanied by an Antisocial disorder. Having an extreme obsession for playing MMORPGs, an interest in furry yiff art and a whole lot of other useless interests that will never make you enough money to move out of your parent's basement are some of the symptoms of an Antisocial disorder that are most common.

ADHD is not actually a disability. When combined with internet access, benzodiazipines, and amphetamine study aides, ADHD kids are unstoppable trivial knowledge machines. An ADHD kid will never stop listening to what you are saying because he has no control over his disorder.

Anyone who is good at the internet has ADHD. Anyone who knows at least 3 programming languages and at least 2 scripting languages for no reason has ADHD. Anyone who plays Minecraft has ADHD. Anyone who knows typed lambda calculus for no reason has ADHD. Anyone who has read at least 20 philosophy books for no reason has ADHD. Anyone who knows literary theory for no reason has ADHD. Anyone who knows a shit ton about subjects completely unrelated to their line of work or major in college has ADHD.

ADHD is a gift and a curse; a gift in the sense that you are smarter than 99% of the people on main street, a curse in the sense that being smart doesn't mean shit in America. Many people believe that- ooh, a butterfly.

Being smart alone will never get you laid (sry Stephen Hawkings - you will die alone) and getting laid is the only reason to live. The only way to get laid with knowledge is to make money off it (bitches love money). When you do get money, never talk about the science behind your accomplishments with bitches. Most bitches hate science, math, logic, and theory - and they do not care about science, math, logic or theory.

An ADHD kid's guide to getting laid

If you don't want to go through this list of bullshit things you have to do in order to get laid by a typical, dumbass bitch, an alternative is to find a girl who also has ADHD. Chances are, she will probably also be strongly interested in very particular and specific topic (which means you will have something to talk about other than the girl's illogical emotions) and she will also probably be somewhat socially awkward (which means you might be able to fucking relate to a girl for once). Unlike most girls, girls with ADHD are often more quiet, especially if they have the inattentive factor. This guide will not work if you're trying to get laid with a girl who also has ADHD. Here's what to do if you're going for your average bitch:

• Be "funny" (note that fem-humor is quite different from actual humor. If you say something that is actually funny, the common slut will not be able to wrap her feeble brain around it and will be shocked and appalled).

• Be "smart" (note that fem-smart is different from actual intelligence. Women lack the ability to think abstractly, so if your completely relevant point doesn't help her with her sixth-grade level math course - then you are weird and not smart.)

• Feign interest in whatever shitty band she is listening to (while you may have extensive knowledge of music theory, that fact is negated because she doesn't know what music theory is and doesn't care).

• Flirt - Yes, flirting is essentially lying and a completely transparent way of saying "I want to fuck you" that any logical male can see through - and though you have a firm grasp on Wittgenstein's concept of language games, bitches do not care about what a Wittgenstein is, so play the game.

• Roofies - roofies always work.

• Never talk about current events, technological breakthroughs, philosophical concepts, or anything that doesn't directly appeal to a woman's everyday life (hair, clothes, celebrity babies, gossip, cute boys, her illogical emotional feelings).

• Never troll a girl, ever. They will always take you seriously, they will never understand the satire, and they will be shocked and appalled.

Here's a TL;DR example:

<typicalgirl16> hey i was with Jessica when she read your message. not cool at all. 
honestly who are you kevin? you surprise me
 
<Logical Male> My understanding of her was one such that I thought that she was of 
the sort that wouldn't freak out about it, and that she would read the note I 
tagged her in (where I satirized myself for doing that, and explained why I did it), 
and she would in turn troll me back.

<Logical Male> In addition, a friend of mine said the following to me today,
"if shit is awkward with people, maybe it's just because you're not a good match."

which i extended and applied to Jessica as such:

someone capable of thinking some banal conversation about nothing is awkward and 
if I didn't think said conversation was awkward, then maybe it's because it's not
a good match. Because of the way that I think, which is such that it is consistent
only in that i can understand through reason any sort of action, is such that one 
who cannot, is not one who would be able to tolerate me.


<typicalgirl16> ...(thinking about boiz and rainbows)...

<Logical Male> though it was superficially "not cool", it had an underlying justification
which I thought she would get and in the case that she didn't, I provided access to 
material that would allow her to "get it".

I understand that it was hasty for me to jump to such a conclusion and that we 
live in a society that has underlying rules (or customs) that dictate behavior and 
expectations (though I am not 100% clear on where I stand on that issue), 
but it is important to me to assert that I wasn't being 100% dick

<typicalgirl16>I dunno, it sounds a lot like philosophical bs. Which it is.
Your little experiments always go way to far. Its not cool or different in a 
progressive way or anything. And about your remark about my internet use. 
you're right, i don't know shit about the internet because i have other hobbies 
that are far more beneficial. And if you would have trolled me, I probably wouldn't 
talk to you anymore because you would say hurtful things that aren't true. You may 
not think i know anything but i do know that this kind of behavior will get you 
nowhere in life. your career will be shit, your friendships will suffer and maybe
even your family will abandon you. its just social suicide and i am so over 
destructive behavior. its just immature. I know you are having a grand old time and 
taking this all in like some pretentious po-mo snob but you are in fact are backward.

<Logical Male>what you're saying anti-intellectualism in action.

it wasn't an experiment, it was something i did and when i realized i did it out of 
passion and not reason, I openly admitted to the world that I am retarded and have been
retarded on many occasions where i have let passion and not reason determine my actions.
All of which was done through satire.


i had to phrase the message to you as i did to make I was absolutely clear and to give 
you a logically valid explanation of why i did what i did. you responded with opinions 
which, whether or not they are true, make for a logically flawed argument -- which doesn't
really hold any water upon analysis. again i am not questioning the validity of your claims,
every one might be 100% true, but the key word there is "might" whereas I left no room for 
ambiguity by providing a sound argument.

On a side note, the internet drives the entire contemporary world

And voila, one uses ADHD as a way to intellectually checkmate his opposition.

ADHD's antithesis is utilitarianism (learning for the end of being smarter than you versus learning just barely enough to get a shit job on Main Street, USA). While some argue that ADHD isn't a real disorder and say "ADHD is used as an excuse for someone being a social fuckup because they set things on fire, shit on people's clothes and cannot do any activity for two seconds without resorting to violence" -- these people are retards and should be treated as such.

See Also

• Train Of Thought

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Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is part of a series on Psychology