DarksydePhil

Every time Phil says something stupid, this timer will reset.

	“	Well it says here: I have to use a BUGGED button mechanic. Stupid fucking buggy game! The trigger buttons aren't even buttons! This game is fucking buggy as shit. OH MY GOD, what shitty programming! Oh my god! FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! Eeehhehehehehethe ...	„
	— DarksydePhil, sharing his endless wisdom on games.

DarksydePhil dspgaming, (Powerword: Phillip Burnell), AKA the self-proclaimed "King of Hate" is the living embodiment of everything wrong with todays' gaming in video format and the arch-enemy of /v/.

He's known for being a hypocritical, money-whoring, borderline-retarded, obese, disgusting, misanthropic man-child with a crippled back who can't play games without being an insufferable cunt, even if his life depended on it. Oh wait, it actually does!

If Tom Preston is the king of delusional washout hacks and Chris-Chan is the king of basement-dwelling retards, DSP has to be the king of untalented USI scrubs.

No matter how much you think you suck at video games, you will never be as big a scrub as DSP.

Rise to "fame"

Getting pwned, DSP-style.

Circa 2007, with the advent of YouTube, Mr.Phil started recording videos of him playing Street Fighter 4 Online with a view on his TV, using a shitty camera.

More than 60% of the time he would get his ass kicked and lose the match. Now this wouldn't be anything special, if it wasn't for the fact that he acts like a complete mongoloid every time he plays, no matter if he's winning or losing. This attitude has not changed up to this day.

Once upon a time he won a Street Fighter tournament, in which he got to use a version of the game that other players had never played with. When he beat the last guy, he declared himself the "King of Hate".

Ever since he started making videos, he uploaded about more than 20000(!!!) videos on his channel dspgaming and created countless other channels to whore out as much money as possible from YouTube. If you ever searched for a Street Fighter gameplay video, chances are you came across this "King of Scrubs".

95% of a DSP video

DSP is a scrub

I'M PRESSING BUTTONS!

DSP is intelligent

Scrub Extravaganza

Once a scrub, always a scrub

Part 2

Part 3

Part 3,5

He's not only a scrub in Street Fighter

SHITTY FUCKING GAME!

Previous Video | Next Video

DSP LOGIC: If somebody else wins, its cheating. If he wins, his opponent is not worthy for his fighting game expertise and they suck.

	“	I can't stop watching this. Romans used to always talk up the skill of their opponents in anything competitive for the sake of good will and honor. If you lost to your opponent, he was just that good and you'd be proud to compete with him. If you won your victory was glorious for triumphing over such a capable opponent. Phil does the opposite (always spouting shit-talk from a face that resembles an ass) and makes himself look like the inferior human being whether or not he's winning or losing.	„
	— Nobody Important TurmoilTom, Clint Eastwood of YouTube.

Traits & Abilities

How he deals with games.

- Incredibly obnoxious voice.

- Constantly burps & farts while recording gameplay.

- Downright retarded.

- Constantly makes a PFFFFFFFTFTFTTF noise that makes you want to perforate your ear drums.

- Every time a woman shows up, be it a half-naked hooker or a well-dressed female scientist, he will ALWAYS start doing embarrassing sex jokes.

- Films both his tv and his computer screen, because he is the laziest piece of shit known to man. He can't figure out how to use FRAPS and a microphone simultaniously. The viewer therefor has to deal with all the shitty room/controller/keyboard noises

- No editing what so fucking ever.

- Him, slowly plaything through a game for hours on end and grinding for achievements, if available.

- Hates cutscenes, always talks into or skips them.

- Doesn't give a shit about the story or world of s game.

- Has never said anything funny or interesting, EVER.

- Nothing is ever his fault.

Things he repeatedly spews out

• I'M PRESSING BUTTONS! - Him trying to do a combo or just basic moves in a game.

• I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING! - Usually blames the game while randomly pressing buttons.

• I'M BLOCKING! - Wishful thinking.

• I DIDN'T DO THAT - Blatant lying

• CAN'T DO THAT! - Him, being too stupid to figure out a button combination.

• CAN'T DO ANYTHING (ABOUT THAT)! - Him giving up.

• OH MY GOD! - You'll hear him say this line more often than in all movies of the world combined.

• FUCKING ONLINE GAMING! - Him blaming lag for being total shit at a game.

• HE'S AWFUL! - Almost every time he says this line, combined with 'SCRUB', he gets his ass kicked.

• ONLINE PLAY ONLY THE SHITTY MAY APPLY! - Moments before getting pwned.

• FUCKING SCRUB! - He shouts this one as if he has tourettes.

• HAHAHA! - Either laughing about his own terrible jokes (Note: He's always alone) or for no reason at all.

DSP and money

Kojima World Order

The following videos show the ULTIMATE downfall of DSP:

How not to play MGS1

How not to play MGS2

How not to play MGS3

Previous Video | Next Video

Gallery

A fistful of scrubbiness About missing Pics

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[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See Also

• Street Fighter - The game that made him infamous.

External Links

• dspgaming - His main channel. Don't forget to use an Adblocker.

	DarksydePhil is part of a series on YouTube.
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