DarksydePhil: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 14:48, 9 September 2013

	“	Well it says here: I have to use a BUGGED button mechanic. Stupid fucking buggy game! The trigger buttons aren't even buttons! This game is fucking buggy as shit. OH MY GOD, what shitty programming! Oh my god! FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! Eeehhehehehehethe ...	„
	— DarksydePhil, sharing his endless wisdom on games.

DarksydePhil dspgaming, (Powerword: Phillip Burnell), AKA the self-proclaimed "King of Hate" is the living embodiment of everything wrong with todays' gaming in video format and the arch-enemy of /v/.

He's known for being a hypocritical, money-whoring, borderline-retarded, obese, disgusting, misanthropic man-child with a crippled back who can't play games without being an insufferable cunt, even if his life depended on it. Oh wait, it actually does!

If Tom Preston is the king of delusional washout hacks and Chris-Chan is the king of basement-dwelling retards, DSP has to be the king of untalented USI scrubs.

No matter how much you think you suck at video games, you will never be as big a scrub as DSP.

Rise to "fame"

Circa 2007, with the advent of YouTube, Mr.Phil started recording videos of him playing Street Fighter 4 Online with a view on his TV, using a shitty camera.

More than 60% of the time he would get his ass kicked and lose the match. Now this wouldn't be anything special, if it wasn't for the fact that he acts like a complete mongoloid every time he plays, no matter if he's winning or losing. This attitude has not changed up to this day.

Once upon a time he won a Street Fighter tournament, in which he got to use a version of the game that other players had never played with. When he beat the last guy, he declared himself the "King of Hate".

Ever since he started making videos, he uploaded about more than 20000(!!!) videos on his channel dspgaming and created countless other channels to whore out as much money as possible from YouTube. If you ever searched for a Street Fighter gameplay video, chances are you came across this "King of Scrubs".

95% of a DSP video

Metal Gear Solid

What got DSP so many haters was his mgs let's plays, as you expected from a dsp video he ignored every hint, made every obnoxious sex joke as much as possible, and to make a long story short he fucking sucked at playing this game.

Many trolls made fun of dsp which made him bawww about it so much that he keeps making video about them, yes ladies and gentlemen the man who calls himself the king of hate can't withstand hate. Some youtube videos came exposing every single problem in his mgs let's plays, he started with 2 and then 3 and then he played 1, he sure knows when to pick up a series because it won't make any problems understanding the plot.

Metal Gear Solid 2

Metal Gear Solid 3

Previous Video | Next Video

Kojima World Order

A genius troll decided to attack dsp when he started to stupidly mock kojima in his mgs1 let's play by singing kojima world order as the nwo song, it resulted in this happening:

DSP is a scrub

I'M PRESSING BUTTONS!

DSP is intelligent

Scrub Extravaganza

Once a scrub, always a scrub

Part 2

Part 3

Part 3,5

He's not only a scrub in Street Fighter

SHITTY FUCKING GAME!

Shit DSP says

Previous Video | Next Video

DSP LOGIC: If somebody else wins, its cheating. If he wins, his opponent is not worthy for his fighting game expertise and they suck.

	“	I can't stop watching this. Romans used to always talk up the skill of their opponents in anything competitive for the sake of good will and honor. If you lost to your opponent, he was just that good and you'd be proud to compete with him. If you won your victory was glorious for triumphing over such a capable opponent. Phil does the opposite (always spouting shit-talk from a face that resembles an ass) and makes himself look like the inferior human being whether or not he's winning or losing.	„
	— Nobody Important TurmoilTom, Clint Eastwood of YouTube.

Traits & Abilities

- Incredibly obnoxious voice.

- Constantly burps & farts while recording gameplay.

- Downright retarded.

- Constantly makes a PFFFFFFFTFTFTTF noise that makes you want to perforate your ear drums.

- Every time a woman shows up, be it a half-naked hooker or a well-dressed female scientist, he will ALWAYS start doing embarrassing sex jokes.

- Films both his tv and his computer screen, because he is the laziest piece of shit known to man. He can't figure out how to use FRAPS and a microphone simultaniously. The viewer therefor has to deal with all the shitty room/controller/keyboard noises

- No editing what so fucking ever.

- Him, slowly plaything through a game for hours on end and grinding for achievements, if available.

- Hates cutscenes, always talks into or skips them.

- Doesn't give a shit about the story or world of s game.

- Has never said anything funny or interesting, EVER.

- Nothing is ever his fault.

Things he repeatedly spews out

I'M PRESSING BUTTONS! - Him trying to do a combo or just basic moves in a game.

I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING! - Usually blames the game while randomly pressing buttons.

I'M BLOCKING! - Wishful thinking.

I DIDN'T DO THAT - Blatant lying

CAN'T DO THAT! - Him, being too stupid to figure out a button combination.

CAN'T DO ANYTHING (ABOUT THAT)! - Him giving up.

OH MY GOD! - You'll hear him say this line more often than in all movies of the world combined.

FUCKING ONLINE GAMING! - Him blaming lag for being total shit at a game.

HE'S AWFUL! - Almost every time he says this line, combined with 'SCRUB', he gets his ass kicked.

ONLINE PLAY ONLY THE SHITTY MAY APPLY! - Moments before getting pwned.

FUCKING SCRUB! - He shouts this one as if he has tourettes.

HAHAHA! - Either laughing about his own terrible jokes (Note: He's always alone) or for no reason at all.