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The [http://darwinawards.com/darwin/ '''Darwin Awards'''] exalt individuals who improve humanity by removing themselves from the gene pool in spectacular and hilarious fashions.
The [http://darwinawards.com/darwin/ '''Darwin Awards'''] celebrate individuals who improve the human gene pool by removing themselves from it in a
suitably lulzy manner. The concept draws inspiration from the theory of [[evolution]] by natural selection put forward by Charles Darwin in ''The Origin of Species'', which states that the individuals best suited to their environment are more likely to breed than their less well adapted counterparts, which means that over time, a species will become more and more adapted to a paticular environment.
[[TL;DR]]: they illustate natural selection in action.
sleeping with hungry grizzly bears for thirteen summers. The only reason the
Timmy Treadwell was the ultimate [[furfag]]. A man who decided to take his love for animals to a whole new level and spent thirteen summers fucking around with grizzly bears before the inevitable happened and Timmy found out that bears are not, in fact, all about care and love and much prefer the taste of manflesh to nuts, berries and raw salmon.
bears didn't eat him on day one is because the bears believed Tim was
<center><big>'''Timothy Treadwell winner of 2003'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>GCi4QgPoHZE</youtube><br>''' eaten by a bear'''</center>
[[Carlos Sousa Jr|Carlos "Run Run" Sousa Jr]] taunted Tatiana the Tiger at the San Francisco Zoo on Christmas day 2007
by throwing rocks and pine cones at her. The tiger [[longcat|jumped 15ft in the air and over its containment]], then mauled him to death. One family reported hearing him minutes before the attack, waving to Tatiana and saying "You can't get me lololololololol".
[[Image:Mexicantigerr.jpg|right|Delicious]]
Phillip Quinn was killed trying to heat up a lava lamp bulb on his kitchen
stove. The bulb exploded, sending shards of glass into his heart killing
him. Some believe he was subject to a Galton design; others say he just
looks like a Jew.
[[Benazir Bhutto]], for sticking her head out of the sunroof of a
specially imported bulletproof car whilst driving through a crowd full of
[[Mexico|alien]] and [[Feminazis|Taliban]] assassins, only to bang her
head on the sunroof handle and [[an hero|kill herself]]. Regrettably, Bhutto had already procreated and as such is ineligible for a Darwin Award.
[[Rachel Corrie]] was a confused American Jew who tried to stop an [[Israel]]i [[The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy|bulldozer from crushing a house by standing in front of it]]. As a result she joined the [[Suicide bomber|many other Darwin Award winners]] [[Palestine]] has to offer.
==Eugenics==
<center><big>'''The return'''</big></center><br>
====[[Carlos Sousa Jr|Carlos "Can't Get Me" Sousa Jr]]====
<center><youtube>g-zBl6X_T6s</youtube><br>'''Wut? This summer!'''</center>
[[Image:Mexicantigerr.jpg|thumb|Delicious]]
An [[retard|idiot]] spic who's idea of fun was taunting a fully grown Siberian tiger with his friends San Francisco Zoo on Christmas day 2007.
After throwing rocks and pine cones at Tatiana the Tiger the big cat [[RAGE|finally lost its shit]] [[longcat|jumped 15ft in the air and over its containment]], and proceded to open up a can of whoop-ass on the three halfwits who had been taunting her, mauling two and killing Sousa outright.
The cousin of Charles Darwin, Sir Francis Galton is the father of
eugenics. The product of child abuse by his grandfather Erasmus, he grew
to become a eccentric scientist living the life of a hermit. His only
reading material was his cousin's book ''The Origin of Species''. The theory that populations
evolve over the course of generations inspired Galton to create his own non-
natural selection, using surveys to collect data on how to recognize
[[fucktard|mentally deficient individuals]] determined to participate in
The Darwin Awards. The Trollz inc. was established as a consequence,
concerned with developing economical solutions to this problem. Using
mathematics and scientific knowledge these designs have slowly been
mastered.
===Examples of Original Galton Designs===
1972: accessible gold 4 teh Jews
After six grueling years of research Jewish inventor Robert Adler has
successfully made lead into gold. An unquestionably, undeniably,
revolutionary breakthrough in the past of science. This will undoubtedly
change history forever. Foremost this is a quick and easy technique using
ingredients that can be kept on hand around your house. All essentials
specified below.
* (1) 3" Chlorine Tablet
* (1) 5mm Mechanical Pencil lead refill
* (1) DOT 4 motor vehicle brake fluid
* (1) 1-qt. mason jar
* (1) paper coffee filter
Add 10 oz brake fluid to your jar. Now– without breaking!– add the lead,
Allow this to sit for around two minutes. Crush up the chlorine into a
fine powder, , tighten lid and shake vigorously for one
minute. Use coffee filter to strain content. There you go, instant gold!!!!!
Now hurry before everyone finds out and gold is worthless.
If you didn't know, this is a terrible idea and fatal.
for moar check out [[chemistry|chemfags]].
==applicant-4-eugenics==
Current potential award winners.
Are you being cheated on? War of the roses is prepared with ample deceit
and is standing by, so call NOW!! By claiming that the suspect has just
won a free dozen roses as part of a pitch to be delivered to each and
every one hand-picked. This will cause the person to admit committing
adultry, this is Entrapment. The potential here to make heros out of
spouses is outstanding.
==Trollz-4-teh-hero==
"It is better for all the world, if instead of waiting to execute
degenerate offspring for crime, or to let them starve for their
imbecility, society can prevent those who are manifestly unfit from
continuing their kind."
Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
[[Image:Hansen_ChrisHansen.jpg|thumb|Hansen ready to protect and serve.]]
====[[Steve Irwin]]====
[[Image:Stevemanta.gif|thumb|A NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS!!]]
AKA: "Crocodile Dundee" AKA:"that dumbfuck who spent his life pissing large, poisonous and/or otherwise deadly creatures off for fun"
Steve Irwin was an [[Australia|Ausfailian]] who made it big playing with [[cock|large, fanged, poisonous and otherwise dangerous things]]on TV. After spending years narrowly avoiding becoming croc food Steve finally made the mistake of swimming in a murky river full of stingrays, a notoriously skittish creature when cornered, and armed with a 10cm long barb. Where Irwin took a blow straight to the heart, mortally wounding him. Alas already having two brats disqualifies him from a true Darwin award but the manner of his life and death definitely qualifies him for an honourable mention.
[[Chris Hansen|Chris Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaansen]] is a god among [[troll|trollz]], who baits
unsuspecting pedos into traps using [[sock puppets]]. These sock puppets
[[irl]] are old obese Asian-American whores but [[oti]] say they are
alone and horny boys and girls of an [[Awesome|inappropriate]] age entice the pedo
into believing the sock puppet is a freaky whorechild. Bill Conradt was
supposed to be on ''To Catch a Predator''. Yet he had a change of heart, not
wanting to have sex with a 13-year-old sock puppet named Luke. Chris
Hansen became extremely butthurt and ordered a SWAT team enter his house
and force Bill to play with Chris' toys. Chris Hansen said [[Nice try|Conradt had
already committed a crime by having a conversation with a person who
didn't really exist anyway and deserved to pay]]. Dateline cameramen had
been following Conradt around for days calling him names like "ugly" or
"stupid", even such things as "[[retarded|poo poo face]]", because he refused to have sex
with kids. So Bill Conradt gave up and murdered himself as the SWAT busted
into his home to fuck shit right up.
<center><big>'''What ever it takes'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>UOO8TjKyGr4</youtube><br>'''Even the Handicapped'''</center>
[[Image:CCUDREW2.jpg|thumb|Curt Drew, handsome helicopter husband and Foosball enthusiast]]
Lori Drew A.K.A. Josh Evans
==See Also==
[[Megan Meier]] was a [[typical]] 13-year-old obese whore who [[Unwarranted self-importance|thought she was
*[[Fail]]
better then everyone else and constantly treated her friends like shit]]. So
*[[Retard]]
like any other mother, Lori Drew knew she [[Asking for it|must learn a lesson]]. Using a
*[[Lulz]]
[[sock puppet]] named Josh Evans, Lori became one of Megan's cute new friends.
"Josh" chatted with Megan every day for a few months. Once Lori had engaged
in enough [[virgin|cyber sex]] with Megan she then told her she should just go
fucking kill herself. Without hesitation, to win the love of Josh again she
did so.
{{Sites}}[[Category:IRL Shit]]
{{Sites}}[[Category:IRL Shit]]
Revision as of 00:11, 11 March 2014
This article is boring. You can help by placing relevant pretty pictures and adding more lulz/drama.
The Darwin Awards celebrate individuals who improve the human gene pool by removing themselves from it in a
suitably lulzy manner. The concept draws inspiration from the theory of evolution by natural selection put forward by Charles Darwin in The Origin of Species, which states that the individuals best suited to their environment are more likely to breed than their less well adapted counterparts, which means that over time, a species will become more and more adapted to a paticular environment.
TL;DR: they illustate natural selection in action.
Timmy Treadwell was the ultimate furfag. A man who decided to take his love for animals to a whole new level and spent thirteen summers fucking around with grizzly bears before the inevitable happened and Timmy found out that bears are not, in fact, all about care and love and much prefer the taste of manflesh to nuts, berries and raw salmon.
An idiot spic who's idea of fun was taunting a fully grown Siberian tiger with his friends San Francisco Zoo on Christmas day 2007.
After throwing rocks and pine cones at Tatiana the Tiger the big cat finally lost its shitjumped 15ft in the air and over its containment, and proceded to open up a can of whoop-ass on the three halfwits who had been taunting her, mauling two and killing Sousa outright.
AKA: "Crocodile Dundee" AKA:"that dumbfuck who spent his life pissing large, poisonous and/or otherwise deadly creatures off for fun"
Steve Irwin was an Ausfailian who made it big playing with large, fanged, poisonous and otherwise dangerous thingson TV. After spending years narrowly avoiding becoming croc food Steve finally made the mistake of swimming in a murky river full of stingrays, a notoriously skittish creature when cornered, and armed with a 10cm long barb. Where Irwin took a blow straight to the heart, mortally wounding him. Alas already having two brats disqualifies him from a true Darwin award but the manner of his life and death definitely qualifies him for an honourable mention.
