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| {{Killers}}
| | WEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| '''HandOfZek''' is what one might call [[emo|depressed]]. Very, very depressed. This young [[totse|totsean]] is so very, very depressed with the weight of [[life|having two children, a job, college, and a <s>girlfriend</s>]](LOL DUMPED), not to mention a few [http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2051813 medical disorders] for which he gets [[at least 100]] pills for every month.
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| [[Image:Lol_tranny.jpg|thumb|right|That's a [[trap|man,]] baby!]]
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| ==Suicide and the Meaning of Life==
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| [[Last Thursday]] Zekkypoo was in contact with [[80_year_old_Chinese_man_in_panties|some girl]] with whom he shared his [[hardcore]] depressed outlook on life. After many phone conversations, he talked this girl into committing [[An Hero|suicide]], which [[some argue]] means that Zek is an [[internet killer]].
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| The setup:
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| <pre>
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| This installment is mostly about a new friend that I met in Indiana. She seemed really shy and
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| withdrawn for the first few days I spent with her, but she opened up after a while of kicking
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| her ass at Mortal Combat and generally enjoying her company.
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| </pre>
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| Going out in [[nazi|Jewish]] style:
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| <pre>
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| So over the next few days, we set a few things up and bought some tape to get the job done.
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| I showed her how to seal up the cracks in the door/windows in her bathroom and brought some
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| charcoal over for her.. barbecue.
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| </pre>
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| That first attempt [[failed]], so after he was safe and sound in [[redneck|Wyoming]], this next phone call took place.
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| <pre>
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| “Taylor, I can't do it. My mom would be devastated for losing me.”
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| “You can do it, just think of all the pain you're going to have to endure just to appease a
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| meaningless entity. Look, I love you, and want what's best for you. I'm asking you as a friend
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| to go through with the suicide and ESCAPE your imprisonment in your mind.”
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| She cries some more and starts a fire while I wait.
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| “I need you here to talk to me through the whole time, okay? Otherwise I can't do it.”
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| “I'm here for you, just think of how much better things will be.”
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| “I'm scared!”
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| “You're fine, just listen to my voice and calm down. Imagine you're floating away into a world
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| of infinite happiness and lots of balloons.”
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| After 15 minutes and no reply, I hung up. This is a chapter of my life that I usually don't
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| like talking about, but y;all asked for it.
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| I may be a horrible person, but at least I helps to ease her pain. I regret doing what I did to
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| her, but her life would be shit now without me.
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| Did I kill her?
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| Please don't hate me, I only wanted to help.
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| </pre>
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| The whole story is available [http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2024964 here,] and also [http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=1978070 here!]
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| ==Family Values==
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| HOZ and his (ex)-wife have two kids (not for long), but why anyone would let these people [[fuck|reproduce]] is a question to be pondered by the ages. Their relationship has been categorized by things like [http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2015273 infantalism],[http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2093682 polygamy,]
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| [http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2057671 getting his ass kicked for christmas,] [http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2069663 stealing sandwiches,] [http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2044951 partying hard], [http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2048751 and kinky sex.] Yet somehow they haven't gotten their kids taken away from them yet after numerous attempts by [[totse]] trolls to do so.
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| ==Attention Whoring==
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| HandOfZek is a self admitted [[attention whore]]. He even wanted this article to be written. No srsly, check out [http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2102505&page=2 the posts in this unrelated thread.] Zek loves to wallow in his own self pity and the pity of others, because he constantly [http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2055114 sets himself up for failure.]
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| <pre>
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| Depressed, bisexual, have two kids at age 19. Been diagnosed With clinical depression, social
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| anxiety disorder, general anxiety disorder, seasonal affective disorder, hypersomnia, and a
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| buch of other things "Including a severe case of hypochondria."
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| </pre>
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| [[BAWWWW]]
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| <pre>
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| I don't know what to do. 2 weeks in, and I'm already fucked. I cannot fail anything this
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| semester, and.. shit, yo. What sorts of things do y'all do to stay on top of your work and not
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| fall into the warmth of laziness and failure?
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| I'm freaking out.
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| </pre>
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| Often he will make a thread just to blatantly [http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2029387 ask for attention.]
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| ==Pastimes==
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| Zek enjoys [[weeaboo|anime]], something which no doubt distracts him from his family duties worse than all the [http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2056938 god] [http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2055982 damned] [http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2055637 drugs] [http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2057974 he] [http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2071572 is] [http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2028255 doing.] When he isn't whoring himself out for attention OL, he will sometimes start shit up [[IRL]]; [http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2036219 Such a badass.]
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| While claiming to be in college for [[Computer_Science_III|networking,]] it is in fact a complete [[lie]] because what with all these other strenuous activities of [[hookers and blow|sex, drugs, and rock'n roll]] how could anyone have time for [http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2029450 education?] Short answer: [http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2018813 nope.] Long answer? [http://www.totse.com/community/search.php?searchid=185723&pp=25 Just click this wonderful link to see the depression for yourself.]
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| ==Broke up, kicked out, [[gay|came out.]]==
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| [[Last thursday]] Zek's girlfriend and mother of his children broke up with him, but for some reason [[Stupid|allowed him to live in their apartment for several months]]. Eventually she started to get [[so ronery|lonely]] due to Zek wanting to [http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2125380 suck cock all the time], and decided to [[internet relationship|court]] another totsean. She actually paid for this guy to come halfway across the [[americunt|US]] to live with them and raise their children.
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| Soon they found that [[fail|this arrangement wouldn't work]] and Zek got [[banhammer|the boot]], and is now [http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2124819 living with] [[basement dweller|his parents,]] [[lulz]].
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| <pre>
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| Hand: They ARE getting married, Hardly There is living thousands of miles away and
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| Clifford is adopting my kids.
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| Hand: I may never see my kids again.
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| </pre>
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| That's right, after just a few months of knowing each other, Zek's baby momma married some '''random internet person.'''
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| After all this, it is expected that HandOfZek will [[an_hero|be with us no longer]] very soon. How much can one [[trap|man]] take after all?
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| If you'd like the full story a fine fellow on [[totse|&t]] has been documenting this whole wonderful [[lulz|lulzfest]] right [http://www.totse.com/community/usernote.php?u=149428 here!]
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| ==[[Giant_dildo_of_death|Curtain Rods]]==
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| One fine day Zekkypoo was [[Mr_Hands|hankering for a penetrating]], but when his baby-momma moved away she took all their [[dildo|fun toys]] with her! Oh what is a [[trap|man]] to do?!?
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| <pre>
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| I was masturbating, and there was no dildo handy. I found a metal rod that holds up curtains,
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| though, and tried to use it. Turns out, it had a sharp edge. I felt it cut me, then pulled it out
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| and it cut some more. Of course, that didn't stop me from finishing.
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| When I was done though, I was surprised and then a little scared at how much blood had been lost
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| (most soaked up with toilet paper in the bathroom).
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| Here's the rod, and the stain I left on my BARE MATTRESS!
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| </pre>
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| [http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2158374 You cant make this shit up.] Sadly, this isn't the first totsean to have something [[In_the_ass|penetrate his tender orifices]] and do some [[Srs_bsns|serious damage]] , [[HTS-Noob]] holds that title.
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| <center>
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| <gallery>
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| Image:HandOfZekFemmie.jpg|It's a [[trap]]!!!
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| Image:Zek'sbloodymattress.jpg|[[Bloodydiaperman|Bloodymattressman]]
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| Image:Zek'scurtainrod.jpg|The offending object.
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| </gallery>
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| </center>
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| ==Gallery==
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| <center>
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| <gallery>
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| Image:Zek_kid.jpg|3 years ago...
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| Image:Lol_tranny2.jpg|Present day
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| Image:Cut1.jpg|I like it when the...
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| Image:Cut2.jpg|...red water comes out.
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| Image:Less_than_3_tattoo.jpg|Branded as [[less than three]]
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| Image:HoZ_depressed.jpg|[[spam]]
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| Image:Hand_in_undies.jpg|eek
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| </gallery>
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| </center>
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| [[Category:People]]
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