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Voice-of-Blood: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 01:48, 18 November 2014
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Voice of Blood, aka Vox Vocis Cruor, is a level-headed 19-year-old with extraordinary gifts in arts and literature as well as a warm and welcoming heart and high IQ who constructively spends her free time on Deviantart. And of course by this we mean she's a batshit insane otherkin teen mommy who believes that roleplaying during debate is completely normal. Her obsession with a B-rated video game called Drakengard and Wicked quickly rocketed her into a life of cheetohs, pregnancy, and insanity. She greets most people with immediate snarky bitchiness regardless of how kindly their intentions, and is under the impression that she's constantly being fursecuted by the small-minded humans who "just don't get her!"
—Voice-of-Blood, every fucking line |
The Girl
While most of us realize that Voice-of-Blood is a human (albeit one of fairly low caliber), she seems to think otherwise. According to her, she is harboring the soul of a two-trillion-year-old dragon goddess with the element of blood, and measures up at 3/4 a mile long and two stories to the shoulder. She wears a suit made of pure diamonds when she's not running around in the nude showing her used-up dragongina to every passing male. She already claims to have birthed a child who is currently around the age of 5. In all likelihood, she lost her virginity to a cheese-encrusted hobo who snuck into her house at night wailing "I am a dragon, let me fill you with my dragon seeeeeed, small fat child!" Unfortunately for the kid his mother is nuttier than squirrel turds. She decided that a good name for functioning in society for her bouncing baby boy would be... Drkhons. He probably gets beat up more often than Goofy's son. She and her son like to have "whisper sessions" where they channel the voices of their dragon souls, much akin to the popular "Furry Hour". This is where she indoctrinates her young, one of only many thousands of hideous inbred rednecks to be spawned from her wicked womb, to believe in her teachings.
She has been playing a game called Drakengard, and its sequel, Drakengard 2, which cumulatively amass to around 30 hours of play time, for the past 5 years. When confronted about this, she will immediately explain that it is deep and meaningful because it has violence, rape, and babies exploding people. She has assured the world that she WILL be writing the third installment in the series, and Square Enix patiently awaits the golden script so coveted that if it were to be posted on the internet or told to anyone, they would immediately steal it and submit it as their own masterpiece.
When she's not writing her Drakengard script, fapping to vore and rape, or composing emo poetry, she often finds time to perfect her drawing skills. How a dragon uses MS Paint, the world may never know. But what we do know is that she's fantastic.
The Dragon
According to her, she has had the soul of a two-trillion-year-old dragon with mastery over all blood transplanted into her mortal human body, which changed her human blood into the blood of a dragon. While this is typical otherkin, as the story progresses it becomes more and more convoluted, but one thing's for sure: This shit is fucktarded squared. Sometimes, she's never a human, and rather a dragon who can shift forms from dragon to human at will. Other times, she portrays herself as a mortal human who, when she dies will be reborn as an immortal dragon after having won the favor of the immortal dragon tribunal. From here, she's created an entire theology too complex for even herself to understand. If she writes a video game story about her "complex system of dragon deities" and becomes famous in this life, then she will ascend to the next plane and do ever-lasting battle in the Fifth Chaos War against the dragons of Chaos, presumably other video game designers and their draconian harem.
She claims to live in an underground volcanic cavern surrounded by magma (someone's been playing Floor Is Lava a little too much), where she commands platoons of her own dragon army and roleplays the death of the "trolls" who dare attack her. Other times she mentions crying about how her parents took her sofa and she had to watch Bolt sitting on the floor with nothing but the many layers of her own blubber cushioning herself. She shrugs off the fact that her dragon's arms can't reach her own head (which would probably explain all the shit that comes out of her mouth since she can't brush) and that her legs are so skinny that they wouldn't be able to support the massive weight of even her human frame. She's got a Jew and brushes it off as perfect dragon anatomy. But I suppose we just can't see the beauty she radiates. She is, as all dragons should be, fluent in Draconian. Never mind that this language has the same grammatical structure as English and looks like the sort of thing that results from cats running across keyboards. Be sure to ask Rosetta Stone for a copy of their "Draconian Level I" next time you call in!
—Voice-of-Blood, being a retard |
Use scrollbar to see the full image
The Drama
While she may seem on par with most furries, Voice-of-Blood is an excellent source of your daily dose of drama! In her infinite wisdom, she allows her 5-year-old son to freely browse the Internet for any pictures that tickle his fancy. She requests art of naked video game characters and mere moments later chides the artist for drawing naked pictures of video game characters and putting them on the Interbutts for her son to see. Bear in mind this person is one of her alleged best friends.
Later, the impossibly epic happened. Popular DA artist Hail-NekoYasha created a mildly funny image of the Wicked Witch of the West, and once again, Voice-of-Blood was unable to distinguish reality from fiction. Like all logical people (dragons) she promptly flipped her lid. What followed was an udder on a lolcow so large, so inflated, that it took many days and many people to milk.
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Oh, Internet you
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Weird aspie shit.
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Fact-slinging!
External Links
Vampires • Humanoids • Reptiles • The Rest • See Also Click topics to expand |
Voice-of-Blood is part of a series on Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage. |