Kingdom Hearts 3

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Kingdom Hearts 3 looks like it was written by pseudo-intellectual 13-year-old boys. Look out for unfunny Uncyclopedia bullshit, boring in-jokes, and angsty teen-ery. You could also add in actual humor.

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File:Aquawasraped.jpg

She was asking for it

It was first announced at E3 2013, and came for PS4 and Xbox One, and finally, it's a multi-platform game. This game caused fantards to came and shit their pants in joy and it had the extremely annoying, normie Kingdom Hearts Jewtubers aka, the 'X-Keepers,' milking the fuck out of this game for years. It's supposed to end the so-called "Xehanort Saga." They added Pixar movie characters and worlds as if anyone really cared about them not being in the games in the first place, plus only added them to drag the game out even more. In the trailers and newz throughout the years, it was revealed that:

• Aqua was raped by Xehanort and all of the fanfags cried about it SKYE! She wasn't; and yet don't care about Larenxe and the other Organization XIII fags that were raped? There was a lot of butthurt and lulz to be had.

Nomura is bringing everything from the previous gayums back as well.

Kingdom Hearts 3 is the most disappointing game in the entire franchise.

• Zero Final Fantasy
• Pete and Maleficent are looking for a stupid black box
• Vanitas is back? WTF is with this plot with dead characters coming back?
• 100 Acre Woods is back with 3 mini games that no one asked for
• Bug Blox are back
• Riku-Ansem was brought from the past
• Those three Twilight Town shitheads (and the world) are back
• Game and Watch rip-off mini games
• You can finally have more than 2 party members (why did it take them this long...)
• Pirates of the Caribbean's characters finally look realistic instead of the butt-fuck ugly low res textures
• Wreck-it-Ralph is just an summon. Making those who wanted a Wreck it world(just so they want Sora to make a lame, unfunny "we in a video game within a video game joke) butthurt
• Sora's buttbuddy Riku's clone from Chain Of Memories is back.
• That gay Starfox rip-off mini game is back after a couple of years, so that means you have to go through that shit again.
• Take Birth by Sleep, Re:coded, and 358/2 Days--- wait, basically Square Enix's lazy ass just copied and pasted KH 0.2: A Fragmentary Passage and you have the Kingdom Hearts 3 gameplay.

Kairi is also FINALLY doing something useful for once and is training to be a Keyblade wielder, and then she died... She loves to talk to our favorite red-headed pedophile Axel--- I mean Lea, because apparently, he's not a 'Nobody' anymore because he an heroed'. So... his an hero for Sora wasn't an an hero...? And some of the former Organization XIII members are also back.... Basically the plot is a fucking autistic series finale character reunion clusterfuck and a sequel to Dream Drop Distance, plus it's rushed. And Square Enix being Square Enix, the release date was delayed multiple times and is currently January 29, 2019; and they switched to Unreal Engine 4 during development hell (who isn't using that fucking game engine nowadays). Utada Hikaru has made 2 theme songs for the game called "Oath" and "Don't Think Twice" (yes, there's Jap versions) and they might be the worst she's ever done. It is absolute torture to listen to in the trailers and cutscenes... and her rabid fans defend this song to the death.

Gameplay

The gameplay is shit. The Disney worlds SUCK and they are very empty and anti-climatic. Frozen is the worst offender. All you do is:

1. Run into Elsa
2. Escape some fucking maze Larxene made
3. Run into Elsa and get rekted by Larxene again
4. Find that annoying fuck Olaf's body parts in a shitty mini game
5. Run into Elsa and fight a boss. Hans only gets less than 15 seconds of screen time. No dialog. Nothing. He just randomly passes out into darkness...which led to the said boss fight...

Not to mention, the game is short. And once you beat it, there is nothing else to do. No Sephiroth, no Data Rematches, and only one secret boss...SPOILER: It's not that secret, it's just a powered up version of the Invisible from the first Kingdom Hearts with 2 swords. Even Dream Drop Distance, 358/7 Days, and Re:coded had more post game content.

See Also

• Final Fantasy - Slightly less gay variant. Slightly.

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