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David Kalac: Difference between revisions

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{{pixplz}}
{{pixplz}}
{{needsmoar|everything}}
{{moar|everything}}


{{quote|I killed Amanda Coplin. I strangled her with my hands, then a shoelace. I had no reason other than I was drunk and she pissed me off. Running from the cops was so fun. | Quote of the Century}}
{{quote|I killed Amanda Coplin. I strangled her with my hands, then a shoelace. I had no reason other than I was drunk and she pissed me off. Running from the cops was so fun. |David Kalac}}


{{crap}}
David Kalac is an [[OJ Simpson]] wannabe and a [[Terrorist|Serj Tankian]] lookalike who, after a night of getting wasted, killed her girlfriend and posted the pictures on /b/. At first, no one paid no mind because, it's /b/. But then the [[v&|partyv&]] heard of the happenings and decided to find the OP. This was preceded by a chain of events that has given numerous lulz to anyone that has been following.
David Kalac (aka Danger Dave) is a 90 lb weakling who had trouble strangling one of mother natures weakest creatures, a [[woman]]. After he did the deed, OP [delivered] when he posted pix. Although since he failed to become [[an hero]] as promised, the age-old maxim of "OP is faggot" stands true. Rather than [[buttsex|taking a like a man]] and going through with a [[white trash|common law divorce]], he that decided that anyone who would want to go so far as to want to do more look like and then wrapped an aux cable around her neck. Danger Dave freaked out and stared srcying emo bullshit all over the walls and then in a [[retarded|stroke of genius]] decided to leave his id next to the body.


When OP posted pics (remember he was just anon at this point) nobody cared because /b/. Once it hit the news they realized that something crucial was happening and they all curled up next to their police scanners.
=Fail #1=
Kalac, after failng to kill himself, realized that if he stayed, he'll most likely get taken to the slammer, so he decides to take his girlfriends car, and [[get the fuck out of there]]. Soon, the feds tracked his IP and when to his house, where they found the body. After they realized that he left, they decided to chase him all through the state. After chasing the guy up and down Oregon, [[Retard|the cops seriously lost him]].
 
=Fail #2: Electric Boogaloo=
 
{{quote|He was so nonchalant. He just sat down and ordered a can of Pabst.|Ryan Stowe, The Bartender}}
 
After losing his four stars, he decides that it would be a great idea to go into a bar. Here, he ordered a beer, shakes the owner's hand, talks to some patrons, and (after four hours) leaves. No one recognised him or knew who he was. Then, he goes into the forest to see what [[beastiality|wildlife is like]]. He stays here for most of the morning.
 
=Fail #3=
 
Realizing that he's fucked, he [[Buttsex|mans up]] and turns himself in.

Revision as of 17:32, 26 December 2014

MOAR
Add pixplzkthnx to David Kalac
Plz to be adding some pix now kthnx. Consult the image selection process for help, or just google up some pix.
Plz remove this notice once there are plenty of pix.
What? This article needs moar everything.
You can help by adding moar everything.
   
“ 		 
I killed Amanda Coplin. I strangled her with my hands, then a shoelace. I had no reason other than I was drunk and she pissed me off. Running from the cops was so fun.
  		„
  		 

—David Kalac

David Kalac is an OJ Simpson wannabe and a Serj Tankian lookalike who, after a night of getting wasted, killed her girlfriend and posted the pictures on /b/. At first, no one paid no mind because, it's /b/. But then the partyv& heard of the happenings and decided to find the OP. This was preceded by a chain of events that has given numerous lulz to anyone that has been following.

Fail #1

Kalac, after failng to kill himself, realized that if he stayed, he'll most likely get taken to the slammer, so he decides to take his girlfriends car, and get the fuck out of there. Soon, the feds tracked his IP and when to his house, where they found the body. After they realized that he left, they decided to chase him all through the state. After chasing the guy up and down Oregon, the cops seriously lost him.

Fail #2: Electric Boogaloo

   
“ 		 
He was so nonchalant. He just sat down and ordered a can of Pabst.
  		„
  		 

—Ryan Stowe, The Bartender

After losing his four stars, he decides that it would be a great idea to go into a bar. Here, he ordered a beer, shakes the owner's hand, talks to some patrons, and (after four hours) leaves. No one recognised him or knew who he was. Then, he goes into the forest to see what wildlife is like. He stays here for most of the morning.

Fail #3

Realizing that he's fucked, he mans up and turns himself in.

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