Being an Edgelord

Or Better yet, how to prevent it.

Edgelordery is when a 13 year old irritant wants to be an ELEET TROLOLOLOL, but fails it because he can't tell the difference between being Lulzy and being merely "Edgy".

How an Edgelord is Spawned

One day, A 'tardspasmed Nooblet with one pube (ingrown, of course) hears about this "trolling" thing on da interwebs. He wants to do it. Just like how he wants to feel a boobie, he wants to get a peice of that sweet sweet lulz-generating akshun. So, to learn the craft, he lurks 4-Chan, and sees /b/tards trangressing social norms using satire and irony in a way that is new and shocking and memorable.
Haha, Just kidding.
He sees wetodds all yelling "Nigger nigger nigger Desu Ne?" at each other, and being a noob, he thinks that is all there is to it.
He should LURK MOAR!
Because if he did, the Nooblet would see that seasoned trolls cut lolcows to the core with a scalpel of wit. Instead, this Nooblet just uses the sledgehammer of douchetardation to "offend" people.
Stupidly, he aims his "offenses" at super-easy thinskinned targets like MRAs, Mooslims, SJWs -- and other such Fundamentalists -- whose default state is "offended".
Soon, the Nooblets antics get so dumb, trite and predictable that everyone starts sympathizing more with the fundie a-holes the Nooblet attacks than they do with the Nooblet.
Eventually, someone will sarcastically mock him with an "Oh, wow, you're soooooo Edgy!"
The Nooblet -- STILL unable to understand sarcasm or irony -- thinks he is being praised. He ups the ante, trying harder and harder to be more 'booga-booga I'm so scary'. Eventually he dyes his hair black and his transformation is complete.

How an Edgelord Acts

Or...'Don't let this happen to you'....

The two main traits of an edgelord are

• The desperate need to "offend" people, Usually people that are already offended anyway.
• the complete an utter inability to be subtle.

In the following examples, you'll see two different ways to "troll" someone, One is the sloppy dumbass Edgelord way, and the other will be a non-retarded troll.

Example 1: How to rustle a Christian Fundamentalists jimmies.

    Edgelord: "I raped a freshly aborted fetus! For Satan! Bet that pisses you off, Right? Fuck you...you kikey niggerfaggot!"

    Non-Retard Troll: "Oh, but you are wrong about that. The Bible doesn't say that. In fact it says totally the opposite. Here, let me show you." (Proves them wrong with a verse from their own Bible.)

Example 2: How to rustle an SJW's jimmies.

    Edgelord: "I raped...Somebody! Because I'm a man and thats what MEN do, Right?  Bet that pisses you off, Right? Fuck you...you kikey niggerfaggot!"

    Non-Retard Troll: "I have a penis."

How to Not Be an Edgelord

Unless you find a way to top Josef Fritzl, then don't even try.
We are all jaded and nothing you can do will impress us, so stop trying.
Pull up your pants and throw away those Emo records, you are just embarrasing yourself.

Who is an Edgelord?

TheAmazingAtheist: Although he probably believes most of what comes out of his mouth, he loves to pretend to hold some opinions just to aggravate people.
Brett Keane: Almost an sad attempt at being an Amazing Atheist knock-off, except that every few years, he switches from being an atheist to being a theist, so he can take turns angering and alienating both sides of that debate.
JDubs: Very much a lame attempt at being a Brett Keane Knock-off. Among his many edgelordy positions, He declared that Muammar Gaddafi was "his boy"; mostly because he saw there were people who didn't like Gaddafi.
Marilyn Manson: His whole career is him going "Please Be Offended. Won't somebody -- anybody -- please be offended!"
Nick Bate: You might remember this guy....Like a Chris-Chan from an evil parallel universe, but he's so much worse. His current legal troubles were made worse from all those times he BOASTED about being a pedophile; which he did repeatedly just because he saw how many jimmies it rustled.
Richard Coughlan (aka Coughlan666): He named his comedy show "Eat a Queer Fetus for Jesus" ferfucksake.

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Being an Edgelord is part of a series on Psychology