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Gersh Kuntzman: Difference between revisions
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imported>Onideus Little bit of text for now, gotta get some other stuff done first. |
imported>Onideus article excerpt |
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==The Triggering== | ==The Triggering== | ||
[[Image:Gersh_Kuntzman_Misc_Journalism_Has_Changed.png|right|thumb]] | [[Image:Gersh_Kuntzman_Misc_Journalism_Has_Changed.png|right|thumb]] | ||
Back in June of 2016 a cock wombling poof pansy by the name of Gersh Kuntzman (not just a clever name) got tired of base jumping ass crack ravines and playing butt pool and decided he'd find out what all this "gun control" fuss was all about by <s>shacking up</s>, er <s>hooking up</s>,... fuck it, there's no nice way to put this, he found the nearest openly gay gun store owner and got a "personal lesson" in firearms, if you know what I mean. This resulted in a hilariously sad editorial piece on guns in which Kuntzman's fingers made his ass jealous by the enormity of bullshit he managed to fudge pack into an online opinion piece on the <i>horribly frightening</i> AR-15 "assault rifle". The article featured about as much sincerity as a fundamentalist Christian preacher caught with his pants around his ankles in the back room of a gay bar whilst entertaining the local plumbers union. | [[Image:Gersh_Kuntzman_05.jpg|right|thumb|Kuntzman getting some "back up" support while he fires the deadly weapon of mass destruction.]] | ||
Back in June of 2016 a cock wombling poof pansy by the name of Gersh Kuntzman (not just a clever name) got tired of base jumping ass crack ravines and playing butt pool and decided he'd find out what all this "gun control" fuss was all about by <s>shacking up</s>, er <s>hooking up</s>,... fuck it, there's no nice way to put this, he found the nearest openly gay gun store owner and got a "personal lesson" in firearms, if you know what I mean. This resulted in a hilariously sad editorial piece on guns in which Kuntzman's fingers made his ass jealous by the enormity of bullshit he managed to fudge pack into an online opinion piece on the <i>horribly frightening</i> AR-15 "assault rifle". The article featured about as much sincerity as a fundamentalist Christian preacher caught with his pants around his ankles in the back room of a gay bar whilst entertaining the local plumbers union... | |||
{{squote|What is it like to fire an AR-15? It’s horrifying, menacing and very very loud. | |||
It felt to me like a bazooka — and sounded like a cannon. | |||
One day after 49 people were killed in the Orlando shooting, I traveled to Philadelphia to better understand the firepower of military-style weapons and, hopefully, explain their appeal to gun lovers. | |||
But mostly, I was just terrified. | |||
I’ve shot pistols before, but never something like an AR-15. Squeeze lightly on the trigger and the resulting explosion of firepower is humbling and deafening (even with ear protection). | |||
The recoil bruised my shoulder, which can happen if you don't know what you're doing. The brass shell casings disoriented me as they flew past my face. The smell of sulfur and destruction made me sick. The explosions — loud like a bomb — gave me a temporary form of PTSD. For at least an hour after firing the gun just a few times, I was anxious and irritable. | |||
Even in semi-automatic mode, it is very simple to squeeze off two dozen rounds before you even know what has happened. If illegally modified to fully automatic mode, it doesn’t take any imagination to see dozens of bodies falling in front of your barrel. | |||
All it takes is the will to do it. | |||
Forty nine people can be gone in 60 seconds.}} | |||
{{clear}} | {{clear}} | ||
Revision as of 09:19, 12 October 2016
The Triggering
Back in June of 2016 a cock wombling poof pansy by the name of Gersh Kuntzman (not just a clever name) got tired of base jumping ass crack ravines and playing butt pool and decided he'd find out what all this "gun control" fuss was all about by shacking up, er hooking up,... fuck it, there's no nice way to put this, he found the nearest openly gay gun store owner and got a "personal lesson" in firearms, if you know what I mean. This resulted in a hilariously sad editorial piece on guns in which Kuntzman's fingers made his ass jealous by the enormity of bullshit he managed to fudge pack into an online opinion piece on the horribly frightening AR-15 "assault rifle". The article featured about as much sincerity as a fundamentalist Christian preacher caught with his pants around his ankles in the back room of a gay bar whilst entertaining the local plumbers union...
The "Man" Behind The PTSD
Kuntzman Gets A New Holster
Spoofs
Captions
