User:Owl/sandbox

Following death threats to critics who scorned The Dark Knight Rises, fans were disappointed to learn that the poor reviews were accurate. One particularly dedicated fan known as James Holmes decided to take out his crippling dissatisfaction out on other moviegoers- with the help of an assault rifle and a canister of gas.

The Attack

With the power of the Internet and help from some gun shops, Holmes managed to buy four guns and 6,000 rounds of ammunition 60 days prior to the one-sided game of bullet-tag. Adorned in protective gear that even the finest FPS cosplayer would be jealous of, the man bought a ticket to see a midnight showing of The Dark Knight Rises (because paying for a ticket is completely worthwhile if you're getting arrested anyway) and walked into the movie theater. He then walked out to gather his weaponry from his car. Seemingly oblivious to the attention he had already attracted to himself, Holmes made his way back into the theater and unleashed a flurry of smoke bombs and bullets upon the vulnerable crowd. About 70 casualties have been counted, and to date 12 people have died as a result of the attack, which makes Holmes' score pretty average on the spree killer scoreboard. Sorry man, better luck next time!

Unable to muster the courage to off himself and add another point to his killcount, Holmes was apprehended by the police about ten minutes after the massacre. He is now in custody and probably tucked within the well-oiled arms of Bubba.