Theology

People enjoy the intellectual stimulation of a heated theological debate.

Any word that has the suffix "-ism" that requires severe mental retardation to take seriously. IRL, a lively teheological debate leads to riots, thumbscrews, and burnt villages. OL, people cannot slit each other's throats, so they settle for threats and character assassination. It was established as a discipline at least 100 years ago when Robo-Stalin created teh earth last Thursday-which makes as much sense as tehology.

The theology rule of thumb

Anyone who has any interest in theology is a Biblethumper. If his/her preaching enters your ears, wash the site immediately with Atheism, and take necessary vitamins, antibiotics and pr0n to fight the oncoming fit of godliness.

Typical theological debate OL

Buddhism

• For Stickman's Guide To Bankok
  • "Buddhist practice has to do with loss of self, and this is kind of the idea associated with Tantric sex. But don’t get me wrong, I am really just a horny son of a bitch." --Stickman
• Against The Official Chuck Palahniuk Forums
  • "Man, I hate buddhists. They keep hitting me with sticks. I ask a simple question and POW, black eye. 'Does J.F.Kennedy have Buddha nature?' Pow. 'Why does the sacred chao say 'mu'?' Pow. 'Why do you keep hitting me with sticks?' Pow. I should become Jehova's Witness... I could probably use the exercise." --XyZy

In the Dark Age, Christian theologians held debates in their mother's basement.

Christianityism

• For: Christian Action Network
  • "God has a right to make the rules. Anyway, what you consider to be 'love' is only because the devil has so twisted your mind and emotions that you consider something that God says will damn your soul to hell as good. We shall see about your contention that there is no God on judgment day. Feel lucky?" --Patriot
• Against:
  • "So basically, some whore cheated on her new husband before he'd even gotten a chance to fuck her, she got pregnant, and as a result of her frantically trying to lie her way out of a falcon punch, we've now got yet another shitty monotheist judaism offshoot. Great." --Yiri

Judaism

• For: Jewsrock.org
  • "Can we count Madonna? Eventually she's going to drop Kabbalah the way she did Sean Penn. But until then, does she belong on the Challah fame?" --Staff
• Against:
  • "Jews did wtc." --Weev

Islamism

• For: Hindunet Forums: Islam Will Rule The World
  • "It is ok to have this desire that Islam will rule the world, but it won't happen unless Islam acts to deserve it." --vinaire
• Against: Townhall Forums
  • "You shouldn't have said 'Mohammed was a pedophile.' You should have said, 'Mohammed - peace be upon him - was a pedophile.'" --Nathaniel

Shaving the sacred vagina is an affront to the goddess.

Paganism

• For:The Furious Spinner Blog
  • "I want everyone to feel as great about my vagina as I do." --Kim
• Against:Not-So-Avid Geek Blog
  • "Vaginas are evil." --The Geek

Atheism

• Against:The CHUD.com Message Boards -- Atheists Are Assholes
  • "You have a point there. But I think you're assuming I'm atheist just because I'm prejudiced against atheists, and it's confusing my point. I'm not here to defend theists or have a theological debate of any kind. I'm just here to observe, in this 'people think atheists are assholes' thread, that I think a lot of atheists are assholes. Not wrong. Just assholes." --Junior
• For: You Retarded Fascist Fuck
  • "Personally, as an atheist I fail to see the logic behind their being a giant invisible man in the sky who sees everything I do, it's basically some kind of ancient 1984 combined with Lord Of The Rings: a made up fantasy in which everything is visible to a guy that people either hate or fear." --Jonathan

Internet celebrity theologians

Teh internets is full of God-loving people. And they are here to save you. Run.

• Purelily
• Fred Phelps

See Also

• Religion
• KKK
• Palestine Center -- The Charter of the Hamas
• God Hates Fags
• God Hates Shrimp