Ultima Online/UOGamers: Demise

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YEAAHHH

UOGamers: Demise is an Ultima Online freeshard which caters to more timid players who complain when there isn't a Trammel ruleset map in their shard. The economy is shit; even buying items with only a few half-decent mods costs tens of thousands of gold. Essentially, you need to farm for over 9000 hours to be able to amass the necessary amounts of jew golds to buy a powerscroll so your skills don't suck.

However, it should be noted that it is very easy to amass absurd amounts of cash in short amounts of time. Simply make a crafter, work up your skills and sell your shit. After you get 50,000 Jew gold, roll up a mage, go to Heartwood, and buy a Spellweaving book and macro yourself into godhood. Use your newfound powers to blast the fuck out of any hostile creature you see; the tougher the better. black person are recommended for ease of killing and relatively decent loot.

Basic way to win at this shit:

• 1) Use above info to reach godhood.
• 2) Amass absurd amounts of jew gold.
• 3) Spend said jew gold on absurdly good equipment to ensure your invincibility.
• 4) Buy a house.
• 5) Form a guild.
• 6) Invite random noobs into said guild to amass an army.
• 7) Go to Felucca and KILL FUCKING EVERYTHING.
• 8) Congratulate yourself on being a complete retard.
• 9) Realize your life was wasted trying to do the impossible.
• 10) Become an hero.

Sadly, even if you win, you still fail terribly and do not profit. Actually devoting any time to this shard in any serious manner will immediately cause your life to divide by zero and you will die alone at least 100 times. Sorry, bub.

Retarded Events

Every now and then, the batshit insane admins decide in their complete idiocy to mindfuck their players with completely illogical quests and "events". These are usually marked with shit appearing in town (usually Britain), telling you that something has gone awry. You have two choices at this juncture:

• 1) Be a retard and investigate. You find clues, but they lead to complete dead ends.

- OR -

• 2) Ignore this shit and go about your business.

Taking the 2nd path leads to less fail (although that is nigh impossible on this shard), but you miss the uber-1337 items that you get for being a good investigator. Most of this shit, however, is practically useless considering you can just farm for better stuff. Good going, you fucking retards.

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