Fellatio

Might need a few moar mouths for this one.

	“	I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.	„
	—J. Edgar Hoover - FBI's director

	“	A blowjob isn't with your mouth. It's with your heart. Now get on your knees and put that heart to work	„
	—South Park

The opposite of anal sex. Fellatio is a Latin word which means "the act of sucking cock". Your Mom does this really well, but your dad needs more practice.

It's also A character in William Shakespeare's The Tempest. Not to be confused with Bond villain henchman, Oddjob (unless that was one of those "odd jobs" he was named after).

Texas Republicans have introduced a law to outlaw gay sex and sodomy. Problem is, sodomy includes fellatio and therefore all blowjobs would be illegal in Texas which ironically would make Texas the gayest state in the Union.

Be very careful when considering to offer fellatio, as you are going down a one way path. Think long and hard on what this whoring expert has to say of the matter:

	“	Once a dick has been sucked, it cannot be un-sucked. The person having sucked said dick will forever be left with the stigma of having a dick in, and around, their mouth. Furthermore, common knowledge of this dick sucking incident will result in future ridicule and perhaps complete alienation from ones social community. Due to this permanent nature of dick sucking, the decision to suck and/or lick a dick must not be taken lightly.	„
	—It's true

Nothing but pure love.

Technique

Explanations on how to get head—written by an expert!

1. Get her really drunk
2. ????
3. Get her to suck your dick!

A truly master.

The Variation, popular with self injury folk:

1. While she is sucking, tell her that you will rape her.
2. She will at this point bite your penis off.
3. Awesome!.

Gay head

Gay head is different because you do not have to get any girls drunk. All gay men love giving head so you don't have to even worry if you're ugly or have a small hairy cock. Gay men will suck on any cock at any time. This is because if you are gay you can either suck cock or take it up the ass, so gay men don't have many options to choose from.

Autofellatio

Moar info: Auto-fellatio.

What you tried every day as a kid. Auto-fellatio is hard to describe, but How to Suck Your Own Dick gives a good guide. Also TOW has a nice image[1] of it and info on its feasibility—further proving that Jimbo Wales is a sick fuck.

Slang

Getting a blowjob is also known as "Cash"

Fellatio is the medical term—what are kids using on the street?

• Lulzing balls
• Becoming rich and beautiful
• Getting your dick sucked by your mom you fucking fruit
• Chookling mah playmates (see Didaskalos)
• Drinking from the Garden Hose
• Sucking Sausage
• "Shit was SO cash"

Benefits for Women

Besides being a quicker way to that big promotion, a blowjob has also been shown in various studies to be a more effective way for fat chicks to get laid. Many of these studies were done during the Clinton Administration. For anorexic girls, semen consumption provides assorted proteins and lastly, a forced blowjob makes any women learn her place.

Video

Yes. You just watched that.

Galleries

Flaccid Images About missing Pics

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  Best fellatio is kawaii fellatio! :3
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  Jack (played by Jimmy Kimmel) and Janet fellate a cucumber in this remake of Three's Company.
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  A very good bj.
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  Dirty bitches love cock.
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  This is what's really going on during a deepthroat.

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  She tried to deep throat it and split her soft palette.
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  Dorian Thorn has sucked ALL the cocks.
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  Claudia Thorn maintains she is NOT a trashy cockwhore.
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  Artist depiction of cartoon deepthroat.
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  Lol, TOW.
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  Cock sucks
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  Dorian Thorn sucks cock daily.
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  A handjob is fine too
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  Animals do it harder, better, faster, stronger.
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  Grandma NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
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  Crack 'head'
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  AND she doesn't have any teeth!!
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  BLOWJORB
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  Cock eyed redefined
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  Forcing retards into oral isn't wrong in some countries.
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  King of the Hill DOING IT WRONG.
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  Jew blowjob.
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  Don't try it at school, kiddo! (Or at least post it on /b/)
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  those lips aren't just for looks.
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  Almost but not quite a blowjob. Also, furry.
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  Lemon party
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  It's like a reverse blowjob, but it kills you.
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  That's one pair of horny underpants.
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  Hey Ladies!
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  Some argue that swallowing may prevent breast cancer.
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  Looks like Zangief can't swallow all of that.
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  You go girl!
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  Complete with squarish cum. See: Gloom
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  Climbing the corporate ladder.
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  This is what's really going on during a blowjob.
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  Fellatio done wrong.
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  Bitches love sucking dick
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  Eating some dick cheese
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Animated GIFs About missing Pics

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  Proper technique
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  What to do when the bitch fails it
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  A future fellatrix training

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  SUCK ME
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  Going bananas.
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  Is she still alive? Hint: It's a trap.
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  Doing it right
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  Delicious!
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  Some are gooier than others.
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  Two for one! ZOMG pr0n movie link kthnx http://www.empflix.com/view.php?id=17569
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  what
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  She succ u long time, 5 dorra.
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  A more prickly version of the standard blowjob.
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  Obvious gay is Obvious.
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  Homo-parental family breastfeeding. Not be a caveman
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  Ben Stiller's only successful movie
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  The few. The proud.
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  Stick cock where?
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  Textbook example of The Volcano.
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  DONT CROSS THE STREAMS!!!!
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  National pastime of Japan
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  Peace, quiet, and blowjobs on tap

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See Also

• Woman: Giver of Blowjobs
• You: Someone who'll never receive a blowjob.
• Sex: Like a Blowjob with chance of babies!
• Do You Want To Play With My Balls
• Gay: If a guy is doing this to you
• No Homo: Save against the gay
• Here Comes The Airplane

External Links

• dontspitswallow.com - "Cock suckers united to help you swallow."
• German bathroom blowjob
• Brittany Sixx Blowjob
• try here.cumshot BONUS!

Fellatio is part of a series on Sex Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage.