Fyre Festival

In the year of our lord 2017, washed-up early 2000s rapper Ja Rule decided to throw a fake concert/festival event in the Bahamas to scam a bunch of rich millennials out of their money.

This was advertised as 5-star "glamping" with luxury accommodations, fine dining courtesy of Steven Starr, pirate ships, private jets, surfing, downward-pointing triangles, and an all-star line-up of epic music acts like Ja Rule, Blink 182, and the Bogdanovs.

Instead, the trust funded twenty-somethings paid $10-20k to end up stranded in a POW camp with prison food, FEMA tents, Ikea beds, a single port-a-potty, and not an artist in sight. And if that weren't enough, the infamous /pol/ board got involved and started trolling. In other words, it made Woodstock '99 look like the original Woodstock in 1969, which is a pretty big achievement.

What They Expected

What They Got

Sorry.

There are no downward-pointing triangles on this event.

People actually paid $20,000 for this About missing Pics

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  Some of these are not like the others...
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  "Where are my triangles?!"

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  Signing fake papers for refunds like idiots.
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  Human trafficking? Moar likely than you think.
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  /pol/ joins in the fun.
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It Keeps Getting Dumber

File:Jarulepirate.jpg

Le Reddit and Twitter quickly exploded with butthurt complaints while the concertgoers still had battery life in their phones. Genuine posters were quickly joined by /pol/tards who exaggerated, false-flagged, misled, and of course blamed the Jews. The /r/fyrefestival/ subreddit ended up melting down and going offline as a result of this, and #fyrefestival on Twitter was inundated with memes and trolling. What is certain is that a bunch of spoiled rich kids got stranded in the Bahamas in refugee-tier conditions while the internet busily drank up the lulz. While there were no reports of kidnapping or murder, many partygoers report luggage and possessions being stolen by the shady security guards, waiting around for hours, being stranded in waiting areas without food/water, and dealing with a clusterfuck of disorganization. On top of that, they flew there in shitty economy seats -- the lucky ones got stuck in Miami International.

To add to the hilarity, the New York Times reports:

• Blink 182 got their equipment stuck in customs.
• The FBI is investigating.
• None of the employees at Fyre Media got paid.
• Lots of random people got screwed over.
• Ja Rule and his douchey, conniving, millennial accomplice, Billy McFarland, still don't give a shit.

As for Ja Rule, there is wild speculation about his master plan. He may plan to take all their money and run, sell the millennials into slavery and become a warlord, revitalize his long-extinct rap career, create an irl enactment of Lord of the Flies, or all of the above.

Trial (2018)

	“	He was experiencing symptoms of mania or hypomania...He was not sleeping and felt exhausted and overwhelmed. He had a diminished capacity to foresee the consequences of his actions	„
	—Billy McFarland's attorney (Jewed: 1 2)

Translated, this means: "Honestly, you'd genuinely have to be completely insane to pull a stunt like this and not realise you'd end up in court, your honor." As defenses go, it's got a certain ring to it. On the other hand, it's undermined a bit by the fact that after McFarland was arrested in connection with the Fyre scam, he went straight ahead and pulled exactly the same stunt again. This time, he pocketed over $100k by "selling" non-existent tickets to Super Bowl LII, the Grammys, and the Second Coming. As a result, McFarland is also facing 40 years for wire fraud in a simultaneous case. (Jewed: 1 2)

Gallery

It's MURDAAA!!! About missing Pics

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• File:Fyrefailmontage.jpg
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See Also

• Dashcon
• Las Pegasus Unicon