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Bandwidth envy: Difference between revisions
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'''Bandwidth envy''' is a condition triggered by your fellow [[basement dweller]]s' bragging about their [[Atheist|ungodly]] amounts of bandwidth for downloading [[furry]] [[porn]]. This can result in an unhealthy [[lust]] for your neighbor's internet speed, especially when you think it could solve your [[life]]'s biggest problems (admittedly, most of which probably involve an insufficient supply of porn). The amount of bandwidth one has is generally proportional to their [[nerd|e-peen]], but inversely proportional to the amount of sex they have. | '''Bandwidth envy''' is a condition triggered by your fellow [[basement dweller]]s' bragging about their [[Atheist|ungodly]] amounts of bandwidth for downloading [[furry]] [[porn]]. This can result in an unhealthy [[lust]] for your neighbor's internet speed, especially when you think it could solve your [[life]]'s biggest problems (admittedly, most of which probably involve an insufficient supply of porn). The amount of bandwidth one has is generally proportional to their [[nerd|e-peen]], but inversely proportional to the amount of sex they have. | ||
==History== | ==History== | ||
Bandwidth Envy is believed to have started in the mid 90's. Before, dial-up modems had been the only real option and people with cable modems were few and far between, but then cable connections became more readily available and thus was born the aforementioned psychological phenomenon. Any online player of the vidya gamez asked would claim to have a T1 connection; Even players that were clearly connected at 56k would claim to have girlfriends in their house downloading terabytes of MP3 files slowing down their T1 connection. In reality these people were [[Fail|attempting to play via dial-up connection to AOL]]. | |||
[[ | [[IRL|In the real world]], the insecure and/or poorly endowed suffer from [[penis envy]], but penis size only matters if you are capable of attracting an actual partner, and if not, pipe size often serves as a substitute for cock size. | ||
===Decline=== | ===Decline=== | ||
Due to practically | Due to practically everyone and their mom having a reasonably fast internet connection outside of [[Africa]] and [[Australia]], the amount of bandwidth one has is now almost irrelevant. As far as latency in online gaming, the speed of one's rig and the quality of networking in the household have become the major factors. | ||
==Example [[IRC]] Conversation== | ==Example [[IRC]] Conversation== | ||
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{{Psychology}} | |||
{{Psychology}} | {{Stub}} | ||
Latest revision as of 08:56, 1 November 2018
Bandwidth envy is a condition triggered by your fellow basement dwellers' bragging about their ungodly amounts of bandwidth for downloading furry porn. This can result in an unhealthy lust for your neighbor's internet speed, especially when you think it could solve your life's biggest problems (admittedly, most of which probably involve an insufficient supply of porn). The amount of bandwidth one has is generally proportional to their e-peen, but inversely proportional to the amount of sex they have.
History
Bandwidth Envy is believed to have started in the mid 90's. Before, dial-up modems had been the only real option and people with cable modems were few and far between, but then cable connections became more readily available and thus was born the aforementioned psychological phenomenon. Any online player of the vidya gamez asked would claim to have a T1 connection; Even players that were clearly connected at 56k would claim to have girlfriends in their house downloading terabytes of MP3 files slowing down their T1 connection. In reality these people were attempting to play via dial-up connection to AOL.
In the real world, the insecure and/or poorly endowed suffer from penis envy, but penis size only matters if you are capable of attracting an actual partner, and if not, pipe size often serves as a substitute for cock size.
Decline
Due to practically everyone and their mom having a reasonably fast internet connection outside of Africa and Australia, the amount of bandwidth one has is now almost irrelevant. As far as latency in online gaming, the speed of one's rig and the quality of networking in the household have become the major factors.
Example IRC Conversation
No matter how big your pipe is, if you're a douchebag, you're gonna get the banhammer. Reproduced below:
Prima: u suckl!!! @Secunda: who? Prima: yuo becuase i g0t m0r3 bandwith then you!!!! @Secunda: care to rephrase that? Prima: i got r0xin bandwith to downolad nething i want!! @Secunda: do you have an actual point or should i just ban you now? Prima: i'd jsut like to s33 j00 tr'/ sux0r!!!! [02:04:09]: Prima was kicked from channel #linux by Secunda (Reason: ) [02:11:33]: Prima has joined channel #linux Prima: mother fucker Prima: pr3p4r3 to be h4x0r3d @$$h0l3!!!!!!!! ... [02:21:54]: Prima was kicked from channel #linux by Secunda (Reason: Banned)
See Also
