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| | | #REDIRECT[[Jewnited States of Americunts]] |
| [[File:GuamMarine.png|thumb|right|If we don't do something, this could happen]] | |
| [[File:Chewingguamboxed.jpg|thumb|left|[[derp]]]]
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| [[Unfunny|'''Guam''' is uh...12 miles from shore to shore and at its smallest level uhhhh location 7 miles between one shore and the other. Very small island uh and about 24 miles if I recall long. About 7 miles wide 20 no 12 miles at the widest. I don't know how many square miles that is, do you?]]
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| ==Capsize==
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| [[Lame|Guam is currently home to approximately 180,000 people. With the addition of 8,000 Marines, Guam will become overly populated and is in real danger of tipping over...uh uhh um and '''capsize'''.]]
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| <center>
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| <youtube>zNZczIgVXjg</youtube>
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| </center>
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| ==Help?==
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| [[File:Guam 1.jpg|thumb|You can't see them in the picture, but Guam has huge outboard motors on it, to keep it from floating into [[China]].]]
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| People don't like to think about this sort of thing, but then again, they don't like to think about [[Global Warming]] either. Innovative ideas must be applied to this Guam situation, in order to prevent the unthinkable. Several solutions have been made public detailing just how to keep Guam from tipping over:
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| *Add Helium balloons to the opposite side of the island, counteracting the weight of the 8,000 troops.
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| *Give everybody on the island a life jacket.
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| *Build really long robotic legs and place them at strategic locations under the island.
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| *Place the world's largest helicopter rotary system on top of Guam's highest geographical point.
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| *Since Guam is just floating there, move it to a more shallow part of the ocean where it cannot tip over.
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| *Airlift the entire island into a really big dinghy
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| *Place everybody living in Guam on a very restrictive diet.
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| *Put somebody in charge of making sure the big turtle is fed. If they can't do that, get more turtles.
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| *Stop electing retards to congress.
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| ==Quotes==
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| {{quote|[[Nice try|The subtle humor of this obviously metaphorical reference to a ship capsizing illustrated my concern about the impact of the planned military buildup on this small tropical island.]]|Hank Johnson was metaphoricalling when he said Guam would tip over.}}
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| ==See Also==
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| *[[Retard]]
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| *[[Democrats]]
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| ==External Links==
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| *[http://hankjohnson.house.gov/ Hank Johnson, U.S. Congressional Representative]
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| *[http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/australiaandthepacific/guam/7548366/Hank-Johnson-US-Congressman-claims-Guam-will-capsize-from-military-influx.html British News Article]
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| *[http://washingtonscene.thehill.com/in-the-know/36-news/3169-rep-hank-johnson-guam-could-tip-over-and-capsize Washington D.C. News Article]
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| {{afro}}
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| {{unitedstates}}
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| [[Category:Transcripts]][[Category:Internets Phenomena]][[Category:People]][[Category:Events]][[Category:IRL Shit]][[Category:Locations]][[Category:2010]]
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