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Nintendo Entertainment System: Difference between revisions

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{{Rainbowsmall|The most overrated console of all time.}}
{{Rainbowsmall|The most overrated console of all time.}}
[[Image:Macmini_nes.jpg|thumb|Nintendo's failed attempt at releasing a CD-based system before Sega and NEC.]]
[[File:Mac mini nes.jpg|thumb|Nintendo's failed attempt at releasing a CD-based system before Sega and NEC.]]
'''''The NES''''' is a system made by Nintendo [[at least 100 years ago|about 100 years ago]]. It is widely regarded as the best system ever by all except [[basement-dweller|Atari fatties]] because it made people realize that [[Atari]] is shit. It is advisable to use emulators because if you were to play an NES for real, you are required to [[Oral sex|blow into the game]] for hours until it actually works. Although the NES is the coolest system evar, [[hot topic]] [[fags]] like to pretend to like it by wearing cool shirts with NES characters and icons on them. Depending on how many games you played in a day, you could expect to spend half of your entire fucking day blowing on a speck of dust to get the cartridge to play.
[[File:NES Rape.png|thumb|right|A truly immersive gaming experience.]]
The '''''Nintendo Entertainment System''''' shortened as the '''''NES''''' is a system made by Nintendo [[at least 100 years ago|about 100 years ago]]. It is widely regarded as the best system ever by all except [[basement-dweller|Atari fatties]] because it made people realize that [[Atari]] is shit. It is advisable to use emulators because if you were to play an NES for real, you are required to [[Oral sex|blow into the game]] for hours until it actually works. Although the NES is the coolest system evar, [[hot topic]] [[fags]] like to pretend to like it by wearing cool shirts with NES characters and icons on them. Depending on how many games you played in a day, you could expect to spend half of your entire fucking day blowing on a speck of dust to get the cartridge to play.


Because everyone and their mother had a "Nintendo," video games are called "Nintendo games" by old people even today.
Because everyone and their mother had a "Nintendo," video games are called "Nintendo games" by old people even today.
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===[[Budd Dwyer]] (1987) ===
===[[Budd Dwyer]] (1987) ===
''Budd Dwyer'' capitalized on the [[suicide]] fad of the late 1980s by allowing [[Americunts|Middle Americans]] to experience the thrill of ventilating their skull without any of the [[Pain_Series|messy]] and permanent [[death|drawbacks]].  
''Budd Dwyer'' capitalized on the [[suicide]] fad of the late 1980s by allowing [[Americunts|Middle Americans]] to experience the thrill of ventilating their skull without any of the [[Pain_Series|messy]] and permanent [[death|drawbacks]].  


=== [[Metal Gear Solid| Metal Gear/Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake]] (1988) ===
=== [[Metal Gear Solid| Metal Gear/Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake]] (1988) ===
[[File:MG.jpg]]
Metal Gear and its [[Shit|sequel]] were the first "[[Jew|Stealth-Em-Up]]" games ever invented, the brainchild of [[Japan|Hideo Kojima]] and one of the few titles released for the [[Portal:Gaming|MSX]] and the [[Fail|MSX2]]. Its gameplay featured running left right, up down, shooting [[Megaman|megaman]] pellets from your guns, and... well, let's face it; unless you're a [[faggot|die-hard fan]] you wouldn't play this trash for longer than five-minutes if it came along today. The best part of the game is [[Star Wars|burning your own father who you're really a clone of]] alive. [[For the Lulz|Twice]].
 
Metal Gear and its [[Shit|Sequel]] were the first " [[Jew|Stealth]] games" ever invented, is also the brain child of [[Hideo Kojima]] and one of the only games released for the [[MSX]] and the [[MSX2]]. Its gameplay featured running left right, up down, shooting megaman pellets from your guns, and...well, Let's face it: Unless [[You]] are a [[Faggot]] you wouldn't play this trash anyway. The best part of the game is [[Star Wars|Burning your own father whom you are really a clone of]] alive. Twice.


=== [[World War II|Bionic Commando]] (1988) ===
=== [[World War II|Bionic Commando]] (1988) ===
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=== [[Is This Battletoads|Battletoads]] (1991) ===
=== [[Is This Battletoads|Battletoads]] (1991) ===
[[Image:Battletoads.jpg|thumb|right|IS DAT SUM BATTLETOADS?]]
''Battletoads'' is a video game franchise by Rare Ltd. created to rival the ''Teenage Mutant Colin Barker Turtles'' games. And ''Battletoads'' is a better game, but hard as shit.
''Battletoads'' is a video game franchise by Rare Ltd. created to rival the ''Teenage Mutant Colin Barker Turtles'' games. And ''Battletoads'' is a better game, but hard as shit.


=== Action 52 (1991) ===
=== Action 52 (1991) ===
[[Image:Action52.gif|thumb|left|The genesis of all badly drawn furry foot fetish art.]]
''Action 52'' is a [[Doug|very expensive]] video game ($200) created by Active Enterprises, who is nothing more than two [[basement-dweller|basement dwellers]]. Nobody knew it was possible to cram 52 shitty games into one NES cart, which include an even worse rip-off of ''Jaws'' and a queer version of ''Bionic Commando'' in which touching money actually damages you. The most notable of the 52 games, ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles|The Cheetahmen]]'', proves that furfags are responsible for the death of the NES.
''Action 52'' is a [[Doug|very expensive]] video game ($200) created by Active Enterprises, who is nothing more than two [[basement-dweller|basement dwellers]]. Nobody knew it was possible to cram 52 shitty games into one NES cart, which include an even worse rip-off of ''Jaws'' and a queer version of ''Bionic Commando'' in which touching money actually damages you. The most notable of the 52 games, ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles|The Cheetahmen]]'', proves that furfags are responsible for the death of the NES.


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<youtube>in6RZzdGki8</youtube></center>
<youtube>in6RZzdGki8</youtube></center>
==Gallery==
{{cg|NES Gallery|NESPIX|center|<gallery>
File:Nintendo-punch-out-michael-jackson-1.jpg|[[Mike Tyson's Punch Out]]
File:DuckHunter.jpg|[[Chatroulette|Di Di Mau]]!
File:Battle Kid NES cart.jpg|[[Is This Battletoads]]?
File:Irate nes hand.jpg|[[Irate_Gamer|Incensed Faggot]]
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Giant_nes_controller.jpg|[[XBOX HUEG]]!
File:2up47xg.jpg|[[Josef Fritzl|Josef's Cellar]]
File:MG.jpg
File:Action52.gif|The genesis of all badly drawn furry foot fetish art.
File:Battletoads.jpg|IS DAT SUM BATTLETOADS?
</gallery>}}
==External Links==
==External Links==
*[http://www.virtualnes.com/ Play NES in your browser, faggot]
*[http://www.virtualnes.com/ Play NES in your browser, because you're too much of a poor faggot to buy an actual console...like you'd even want a physical NES]
*<s>[http://cheetahmen.silius.net/ A typical NES game fan site]</s> dead
*[http://www.nespower.com/ AM I DOIN IT RITE?]
*[http://www.nespower.com/ AM I DOIN IT RITE?]


{{Nintendo}}
{{Gaming}}
{{Gaming}}
{{stub}}

Latest revision as of 00:47, 5 August 2021

The most overrated console of all time.
The most overrated console of all time.
The most overrated console of all time.
The most overrated console of all time.
The most overrated console of all time.
The most overrated console of all time.
The most overrated console of all time.
Nintendo's failed attempt at releasing a CD-based system before Sega and NEC.
A truly immersive gaming experience.

The Nintendo Entertainment System shortened as the NES is a system made by Nintendo about 100 years ago. It is widely regarded as the best system ever by all except Atari fatties because it made people realize that Atari is shit. It is advisable to use emulators because if you were to play an NES for real, you are required to blow into the game for hours until it actually works. Although the NES is the coolest system evar, hot topic fags like to pretend to like it by wearing cool shirts with NES characters and icons on them. Depending on how many games you played in a day, you could expect to spend half of your entire fucking day blowing on a speck of dust to get the cartridge to play.

Because everyone and their mother had a "Nintendo," video games are called "Nintendo games" by old people even today.


Landmark Titles

Bokosuka Wars (1985)

It would go on to outsell even the NES itself.

Budd Dwyer (1987)

Budd Dwyer capitalized on the suicide fad of the late 1980s by allowing Middle Americans to experience the thrill of ventilating their skull without any of the messy and permanent drawbacks.

Metal Gear/Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake (1988)

Metal Gear and its sequel were the first "Stealth-Em-Up" games ever invented, the brainchild of Hideo Kojima and one of the few titles released for the MSX and the MSX2. Its gameplay featured running left right, up down, shooting megaman pellets from your guns, and... well, let's face it; unless you're a die-hard fan you wouldn't play this trash for longer than five-minutes if it came along today. The best part of the game is burning your own father who you're really a clone of alive. Twice.

Bionic Commando (1988)

Bionic Commando: The greatest moment in video game history.

Bionic Commando is a classic video game fondly remembered as the best game ever despite not having a jump button. This game features a historically accurate plot about Hitler (renamed Master D by censors) being resurrected to dominate the world. Despite removing all references to Nazis, it was still revolutionary for introducing the word "damn" to the NES' vocabulary and featuring Hitler's exploding head.

Mega Man 2 (1989)

More like Faga Man 2.

Bad Dudes (1989)

Bad Dudes is known for its critically acclaimed plot.

Bad Dudes is an action game created by Data East. While the game possesses shitty gameplay, this game is still a solid candidate for the best NES game ever due to its plot: rescue Ronald Reagan from ninjas, dogs, and Karnov, who Data East Mary Sues into every single one of their games.

Battletoads (1991)

Battletoads is a video game franchise by Rare Ltd. created to rival the Teenage Mutant Colin Barker Turtles games. And Battletoads is a better game, but hard as shit.

Action 52 (1991)

Action 52 is a very expensive video game ($200) created by Active Enterprises, who is nothing more than two basement dwellers. Nobody knew it was possible to cram 52 shitty games into one NES cart, which include an even worse rip-off of Jaws and a queer version of Bionic Commando in which touching money actually damages you. The most notable of the 52 games, The Cheetahmen, proves that furfags are responsible for the death of the NES.

Active Enterprise held a contest (dead link) to see who could beat one of their shitty games for a grand prize of $104,000. Their greatest lulz is that the game was too badly programmed to beat without cheating because the game locks up after two or three stages.

NES gaming is serious business

Just listen to this guy from boston Jew

Gallery

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

External Links

Nintendo Entertainment System is part of a series on
[Or Get OutGet N]

See {{Pokedex}} and {{Sonic}} for moar faggotry.

Consoles

Nintendo Entertainment System • Super Nintendo Entertainment System • Game Boy Advance • Virtual Boy • Nintendo 64 • Gamecube • Nintendo DS • Wii • Wii U • Nintendo Switch

Games & Characters

Advance Wars • Animal Crossing • Banjo Kazooie • Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg • Bomberman • Buck Bumble • Castlevania • Chrono Trigger • Conker's Bad Fur Day • Contra • Digimon • Donkey Kong • Duck Hunt • DuckTales • EarthBound • Final Fantasy • Fire Emblem • Kirby • Kingdom Hearts • Legend of Zelda • Mario • Mario Paint • Megaman • Metroid • Mike Tyson's Punch Out • Phoenix Wright • Pikmin • Pokémon • Professor Layton • Quest 64 • Shaq-Fu • Sonic the Hedgehog • Splatoon • Star Fox • Street Fighter 2 • Super Smash Bros • Superman 64 • Tetris • Wario • Wii Fit

Miscellaneous

3DSPlaza • Amiibo • Bowsette • Can't let you do that, StarFox! • Digibutter.nerr • Falcon Punch • Fantendo • Is This Battletoads • It's a Kirby, Retard • Haunted Majora's Mask Cartridge • Hong Kong 97 • Hotel Mario • King Dedede Drooling While Eating • Kirbyraeg • Krystal Can't Enjoy Her Sandwich • LINK MAH BOIIIII • Luigi's Death Stare • Miiverse • Mushroom Kingdom Fusion • NintendoLife • Reggie Fils-Aime • Smogon University • Solid Snake's Ass • Super Mario 64 Iceberg • Triforce • What is a man? • Yoshi Art Forums • ZeldaOnline

Nintendo Entertainment System is part of a series on

Gaming

Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.

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