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Broken/Anonymous/Featured Article: Difference between revisions

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{{Featuredupdate|Featured Article}}
{{Featuredupdate|Featured Article}}
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{{:Portal:Anonymous/Featured Article/title|VolunteersForUkraine|#VolunteersForUkraine}}
{{:Portal:Anonymous/Featured Article/title|V}}
[[File:Volunteersforukraine ghost of keiv.jpg|240px|right]]  
[[File:PaperFailure.jpg|245px|right]]  
While the Russo-Ukrainian conflict [[Drag queens|drags]] on with thousands being [[2017 Las Vegas Shooting|shot]], [[Luka Magnotta|maimed]], [[Kill it with fire|burnt]] and torn to shreds by missiles and drones, the [[faggot|estrogenic]] [[soyboy|soyboys]] in the west are in the comfort of their [[basement-dweller|homes]] rewatching their favorite marvel movie for the millionth time while munching on Takis and downing it with soylent. But then, some of them thought it would be an epic and wholesome idea to haul their asses to a country they've never heard of before to push the evil [[Commie|Nazi]] dictator <s>[[Hitler]]</s> [[Putin]] and his Army of Darkness back. For fighting for justice and protecting the innocent is a hero's job! [[Unrealistic expectations|JUST LIKE MY MARVEL MOVIEZ SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!]]
'''''V for Vendetta''''' is a [[movie]] based on a graphic novel by [[Margaret Thatcher]] fanboi [[Otherkin|Alan Moore]] about [[truth|true future events]] when [[Anonymous]] reclaims democracy from the grasp of [[Scientology|totalitarianism]]. [[Agent Smith|Anonymous Englishman]] '''V''' - who styles himself after the original [[Epic Fail Guy|EFG]], Guy Fawkes - blows up the home of the English government, the Houses of Parliament, partly as a symbolic act, but mainly [[IDIFTL|for teh lulz]] (which the English celebrate every November 5th by setting fire to an effigy of a catholic, again [[IDIFTL|for teh lulz]]). Unlike Guy Fawkes, V actually succeeds in blowing shit up, to the tune of his favorite piece of [[music|classical music]], the 1812 Overture. In the course of his lulzmongering, V meets a [[delicious cake|love interest]] named [[Pokemon|Eevee]], played by [[Natalie Portman]], who he recruits to his cause. Unlike the comic the movie was based on, the plot is driven by blatant bawwwwing about [[Neo-con|neocons]] and the loss of civil liberties under [[W]]'s epic troll the [[Patriot Act]]. The anarchism and emphasis on remaining anonymous makes [[b/|/b/tards]] love this movie with [[penis|every part of their body]], although the movie itself is "[[The Boondocks|The Boondock]] [[New Orleans|Saints]]" of politics and the [[nerd|comic is way better but noone fucking reads it]]. What's the matter? Too DEEP for you? Also, do said /b/tards even try to blow things up? [[Lie|Of course they do]], except when they [[Don't Mess With Football|mess with football]].


Dilating to the thought of living their fantasy of being the heroes of a realistic version of their favorite movie adaptation of a [[The Hunger Games|young adults novel]], the [[tranny|trannies]] of [[reddit]] launched a new subreddit recruiting 'tards from all over the privileged West to aid in the war effort. After all, can you imagine the sweet, sweet dopamine-rush one would get from all the positive karma and Reddit gold you're going to farm? [[addiction|Who in the hecking world can resist?!]] For those that aren't [[retarded|brave]] enough to risk their lives for clout however, they have the typical [[slacktivist]] routes to exploit; any contribution no matter how small is meaningful. Spetznaz troops would be really demoralized when see they're up against the combined forces of [[Harry Potter]], [[60%27s_Spider-Man|Spider-Man]], [[Sonichu|Pikachu]], [[Lord of the Rings|Gandalf]] and [[comic|Marvel Avengers]].
'''{{center|[[V|(( FEATURED ARTICLE 'CUZ GUY FAWKES DAY IS THIS MONTH!! ))]]}}'''
 
Thanks [[Ukraine]] - you can [[kill|keep]] them, we don't want them back.
 
'''{{center|[[VolunteersForUkraine|(( NOT "ANONYMOUS", RATHER THIS IS RELEVANT "INTERNET HUMANITARIANISM" ))]]}}'''

Latest revision as of 11:03, 7 November 2023


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Featured Article - V

V for Vendetta is a movie based on a graphic novel by Margaret Thatcher fanboi Alan Moore about true future events when Anonymous reclaims democracy from the grasp of totalitarianism. Anonymous Englishman V - who styles himself after the original EFG, Guy Fawkes - blows up the home of the English government, the Houses of Parliament, partly as a symbolic act, but mainly for teh lulz (which the English celebrate every November 5th by setting fire to an effigy of a catholic, again for teh lulz). Unlike Guy Fawkes, V actually succeeds in blowing shit up, to the tune of his favorite piece of classical music, the 1812 Overture. In the course of his lulzmongering, V meets a love interest named Eevee, played by Natalie Portman, who he recruits to his cause. Unlike the comic the movie was based on, the plot is driven by blatant bawwwwing about neocons and the loss of civil liberties under W's epic troll the Patriot Act. The anarchism and emphasis on remaining anonymous makes /b/tards love this movie with every part of their body, although the movie itself is "The Boondock Saints" of politics and the comic is way better but noone fucking reads it. What's the matter? Too DEEP for you? Also, do said /b/tards even try to blow things up? Of course they do, except when they mess with football.

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